Wednesday June 13 2012


Waking up around 1 p.m.

Apricot. Strawberry Cereal Bar. Orange Juice.

Grocery shopping. The Heritage. Trader Joe’s. Target. While at Target I always think of Margot because she frequents this place and wonder if I’ll ever run into her. I imagine breaking the awkward ice and smothering her with a hug upon sight. But I think she would probably feel weird. Even though I’ve had run-ins with her showing up at my house this past month I’m starting to feel a real distance. I would be dishonest if I said I didn’t miss her and didn’t ever think about her. But time is carefully painting over my mind with the purest of whites. And I’m starting to feel the transformation.

Grilled Cheese (Soy) with Tomato. Tortilla Chips with Salsa. Pomegranate Cherry Ade.

Watching Casino Jack (2010).

Stretching. Exercising. Playing new music.

I hop in the car and meet up with Kristin in Norfolk. I’m supposed to meet her at the apartment. I call and text but no response. The foyer door is locked and she would have to let me in. So I take it upon myself to climb up the fire escape stairs and knock on the back door. Her roommate opens up and lets me in. Kristin was napping. She’s embarrassed. Then we dine in at Kotobuki, the same place we ate at about a month ago...a time when we didn’t know one another so well.

Ordering four different vegan sushi rolls along with a bottle of that exquisite unfiltered white sake. Eating our sushi in sync.


Me: “I just wanna scoop out your eyeballs.”

Her: “Then I won’t see.”

Me: “Maybe you’ll see more clearly.”

Her: “oh save me from my shallow life!”



Oreo Tempura for dessert.


We leave and settle down in her apartment. She plops on the bed...

Her: “So what’s up? What do you wanna do—?”

I interrupt her questions by hovering over her body. We kiss and tap into mild foreplay that escalates into sex. It’s enriching to the spirit. I can’t finish though and eventually droop out. Condoms tend to act as an inhibitor to orgasm. In the back of my mind I wonder if this is a chemistry problem but I’m not convinced it can be chalked up to that.

Afterwards, we lie down eating strawberries and watching Addams Family (1991). She’s so adorable as she rolls around vying for affection and pampering. At one point Depeche Mode comes up on the iPod stereo and she starts dancing on the wooden floor.

Me: “I like to watch you dance.”


I warn her I will be going around midnight.

Her: “What happens at midnight?”

Me: “I turn into a toad. Actually I turn into a werewolf.”

She reaches her hand out over my hairy chest, “I can tell.”

Back home. Finishing Casino Jack (2010).

“Cause in reality, mediocrity is where most people live. Mediocrity is the elephant in the room. It's ubiquitous. Mediocrity in your schools. It's in your dreams. It's in your family. And those of us who know this - those of us who understand the disease of the dull - we do something about it. We do more because we have to. The deck was always stacked against us. You're either a big leaguer, or you're a slave clawing your way onto the "C" train.”

Sleep at some late hour.


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