Thursday July 31 2014

Mike Gombas at Tapped (July 31 2014)[i]

☼ ○ ▬

Zombies have taken over, or some kind of virus has spread. They don't have the grueling look most zombies have; they look just like normal people. But once they discover you are not infected they will rip you apart. A big group of us are holed up in the sanctuary of a church building. We discover, the hard way, the zombies have particular sensibilities in that they are only attracted to social stimuli and human connection. So we all sit very still and refuse to look or talk to anyone. A couple of the infected step into the room. Everyone is nervous and quiet as mice. Thankfully, none of the infected notice anyone and we're safe.

▬ ○ ☼


Waking up around noon.


Honey Crunch n Oats with Almond Milk.


Searching for books and teaching material at Music & Arts.


Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Vegan Cream Cheese and Strawberry Jam. Baked Salt n Vinegar Chips. Honey Peach Green Tea.


At Music Makers sitting in on a few piano lessons. I'm trying to prepare myself and know what to expect when I officially start teaching here next week. I'm somewhat nervous because I don't feel as proficient as I claimed to be when they hired me, as far as reading music. But I think learning as I teach will have to do. It's the start to a promising career as a piano/voice instructor and I want to excel in it.


Playing through a few songs at the storage unit in preparation for the show tonight.


Makeshift dinner with Ana: Vegetarian Chili with Broccoli and Bamboo Rice; while Steven drinks a Steel Reserve at the table with us.


Then, to Tapped for the Musicplayer gig. Mike Gombas and Chris Kendrick asked me to play in between sets. It's a good time. A couple friends of the household are here. One of my mom's best friends, Jennifer, from when I was a child is here – it's nice to reconnect with her. After Mike and Chris woo us with romantic melodies I get up to perform. Ana of course joins me halfway through and we do our usual covers along with a few new ones. There're barely any mistakes. I'm proud of us.


Reunion at Tapped (July 31 2014)

Musicplayer with Ana at Tapped (July 31 2014)

Lemon Lovins at Tapped (July 31 2014)


Lingering around Will, Ana, and I share some Lemon Brews with shots of Tequila.
                                             

Back home. Sharing Chocolate treats Ana snagged from the bakery. Then settling in. I grab my toothbrush to go brush my teeth and Ana immediately hops out of the bed. It's always a little game we play – she can't allow me to brush my teeth alone – she has to be by my side.

"Go away!" I say jokingly.

"I'm not going away. I'm here to stay." She likes to slip in cute little rhymes like that.


Sleep 4 a.m.


[i] Images by various people.

Wednesday July 30 2014

Gomez and Morticia Garden of Eden. Isabel Samaras[i]

Waking up at around 12:30 p.m.


Honey Crunch n Oats with Almond Milk.


Picking up my car from the shop – had to replace the master brake cylinder.


Peanut Butter and Strawberry Jelly Sandwich. Baked Salt n Vinegar Chips. Strawberry Kombucha Tea.

"If you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on being what you've always been, nothing changes unless you make it change."


Researching piano and voice instruction.


At The Escape working out and running.


Georgia Peach.


Ana shows up right on time to share dinner: Salmon, Brussel Sprouts, Red Onions, Carrots, and Bamboo Rice. Meanwhile, Darren's impatiently waiting for Devon to arrive to share his own dinner. He gives up the wait. [Connie Converse on the stereo]


Ana and I head to the storage unit for a long vocal rehearsal as I've got a show tomorrow at Tapped. Crispin Cider beverages fuel the strenuous practice.

...                               

Me: "What's wrong?"

Ana: "Nothing's wrong."

Me: "Well is everything right?"


Back home. Talking about how easy it is to learn anything with the power of the internet at everybody's fingertips.

Me: "There's no excuse. No excuses."


She insists on cleaning the kitchen even though I said I was going to do it. In the meantime I take care of the trash and other late night tasks.


[i] Gomez and Morticia Garden of Eden. Isabel Samaras.

Tuesday July 29 2014

Flex Sintrel (July 29 2014)[i]

Waking up around 12:30 p.m.


Honey Crunch n Oats with Almond Milk.


Errands and groceries.


Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Vegan Cream Cheese and Strawberry Jam. Baked Salt n Vinegar Chips.


At the Rec Center for adult basketball. Not as hot on the court tonight but I knock in a few shots and my defense is decent.


Back home.

Black Beans with Brussel Sprouts, Onions, Carrots, Brown Rice, and Herb Yeast Rolls.

Watching The Samaritan (2012).


At the storage unit rehearsing songs.


Back at the house. Tristan's here for one night before he has to catch an early flight in the morning. He helps me drop off my car at the shop.

...

While describing his experience of driving on the left side of the road in England and then coming over here and driving on the right side, Tristan tacks on one of his best lines yet, "If you're gonna live you might as well learn something." At any point in a conversation with Tristan you are bound to hear something quotable. But reading the quote doesn't do it justice unless you hear it out of his mouth.


Flex Sintrel (July 29 2014) (2)


Darren, Devon, and two other guys come downstairs after smoking and/or drinking or both. Darren's really out of it; he keeps stuffing his face with pound cake and open face rib potato salad sandwiches.




Sleep 4 a.m.


[i] Images by me.

Monday July 28 2014

Baby Bear. Isabel Samaras.[i]

Alarm goes off at 10:45 a.m.


Honey Crunch n Oats with Almond Milk.


All day shift at China Wok.


White Peach.


Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich. Sweet Potato Tortilla Chips. Honey Green Tea.


It's terribly slow for deliveries today. I love Mondays.


Banana. Runa Guayusa Energy Tea.


I text Ana to schedule a practice. She replies with, "I'd like to practice Wednesday night, honey bear."

Me: "Honey bear? Hehe."

Ana: "Cause you can sweeten everything. Honey is what you are. :)"

Me: "I always stay stocked on honey."

Ana: "You are what you consume!"


After calculating all the tips at the end of the night it's apparent how pathetic this day was – made almost half less than I normally would make. It's okay because whatever lack of business was made up for in being productive with stuff on the computer.


Home.

Mongolian Chicken with Mixed Vegetables and Rice.

Watching Philadelphia (1993).


Practicing songs at the storage unit.


Apple Pie.


Sleep 4 a.m.


[i] Baby Bear. Isabel Samaras.

Sunday July 27 2014

The Zero Theorem.[i]

☼ ○ ▬

Impatient in NYC: I'm stuck in New York City with Ana. It's understood I'm scheduled to be back in Virginia Beach for work in one hour. Obviously, it's about a seven-hour drive, an impossible task. Despite, I hurry us into the car. Getting lost on intricate and confusing interstate roads. Somehow we're on foot now inside a two-story mall connected to a train station. There're storefronts and crowds of people everywhere. Ana gets stuck at the bottom of the stairs dropping things out of her purse. I get irritated at her for taking so long. "C'mon, Ana! We got to go! Let's go!" People nearby notice my negative attitude. I feel a little embarrassed but my sense of urgency is more important. Somehow she manages to gather her things and we start making our way through the maze of people. She keeps getting distracted by the stores and all the colors. With my arm around her shoulder I scold her and say, "You stay with me. Don't go anywhere." Meanwhile, Darren is here too; he's distracting me with a strange photo booth that takes pictures of your party and gives you money in return. I don't have time for any of this. I've got to get home. Ahhh!

▬ ○ ☼


Waking up at 10:55 a.m.


Honey Crunch n Oats with Almond Milk.


All day shift at China Wok.


Strawberries. Banana.


Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich. Baked Salt n Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea.


It's a typically steady day for deliveries. Sundays usually are.


At some point in the night my brake pedal randomly starts going all the way to the floor when I press it – not a good sign. I can still brake like usual except it requires more pressure on my foot. Bad timing because I'm scheduled to work tomorrow and won't have time to bring it into the shop until Tuesday.


Ana stops by after getting off work at the bakery. She goes on a few deliveries with me.


Off work at a decent hour.

Tofu with Broccoli, Onions, Carrots, and Rice in Garlic Sauce.

Watching The Zero Theorem (2013).


Ana sends me some Facebook messages...

"Seeing you at the end of my work day always makes my day. Seeing you and getting a hug was just what I needed."


General cleaning and dishes.


Apple Pie.


Sleep 4 a.m.                                                                                                 


[i] The Zero Theorem.

Saturday July 26 2014

At Ashley Rice's Wedding (July 26 2014) (6)[i]

Shortly after noon I wake up to the sound of Darren yelling at Devon, something about having a bad attitude all the time and starting shit with Kevin. In the meantime Kevin texted me, "Who wrote faggot on my door?"

Me: "Judging by Darren's yelling I assume it was Devon."

Kevin: "I don't understand why though. It's probably the eggs. Which I paid back. I feel sorry for them both. They're angry and miserable. I'm a fucking rock violinist."


Honey Crunch n Oats with Almond Milk.


Shopping for athletic basketball socks at sporting goods stores. Then, getting groceries at Whole Foods.


Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich. Hummus Chips. Honey Green Tea. White Peach.


Catching up on writing.


Ana invited me to be her date to a wedding for a friend of hers, Ashley. We take her car but I drive. It's one of the rare times that I clean up my look. I've got on these semi-bell-bottom black pants with a floral button up long sleeve and a black bow tie I found in the bathroom. On the Dam Neck base right next to the ocean they set up the ceremony to take place under a canopy. While the wedding officiant, whose voice is reminiscent of the Princess Bride priest, directs the ceremony thunder rumbles in the background and a light rain moistens our hearts. They are pronounced and then we gather inside for the reception. Sipping on a Tom Collins and chit chatting with familiar faces at the table. Dinner is served: Salmon, Broccoli, Potatoes, and Bread; along with appetizers. It's inevitable that the wedding deejay would play that Cha-Cha Slide song that gets played at every wedding. Ana pulls me in for it. Even though her period was causing some discomfort she can always be in the mood for dancing.


At Ashley Rice's Wedding (July 26 2014) (1)

At Ashley Rice's Wedding (July 26 2014) (3)

At Ashley Rice's Wedding (July 26 2014) (5)

At Ashley Rice's Wedding (July 26 2014) (8)

At Ashley Rice's Wedding (July 26 2014) (10)


I end up back home around 11:30 p.m. feeling bloated from all the various drinks and food.


Relaxing and decompressing from all the socializing over the weekend.


Watching The Zero Theorem (2013).


Sleep at 3 a.m.


[i] Images by me.

Friday July 25 2014

DSC_0034[i]

☼ ○ ▬

Tidal Wave: A humongous tidal wave slams into the city. I'm on the roof somewhat safe.

▬ ○ ☼


Waking up at 1:14 p.m.


Honey Crunch n Oats with Almond Milk.


Chores. Research.


Scrambled Egg. Toast with Vegan Cream Cheese and Strawberry Jam. Strawberry Kombucha Tea.


Four couch surfers from Montreal show up at the house. I kind of forgot about the day they were supposed to come. Either way, they're just in time because I was about to head out. I gather them into my car and we drive over to Elliott's for the big Driveway Bash, AKA Elliopalooza. There's free beer and a plethora of grilled items. Bands on the bill are The Rememberables, The Accidental Parade, New Boss, Sink Tapes, and Mas Y Mas. A balloon fight ensues. A PBR hat gets passed around. Pogo stick. Hula hoop. Volleyball. As I explain to the Canadian couch surfers, "This is Fun City!"


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Across the street we corral a big game of basketball with anyone who is interested. Ana's running around barefoot because her shoes aren't comfortable. We match her up with the lead singer of one of the bands who also plays barefoot. Will comes back with his new remote controlled electric powered long board. I give it a joyful spin.

"This is the future," somebody says.


Back at the house. We bought a couple of Pizzas from Chicho's to share with the surfers.


Hangin with the Canadian Couch Surfers (July 25 2014) (1)

Hangin with the Canadian Couch Surfers (July 25 2014) (2)

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It's still pretty early but Ana and I lie down on the bed and take a power nap. I wake up after fifteen minutes. Ana continues sleeping while I sort through the photos I took from the show. Eating leftover Slaw and gulping down Orange Juice.


Real sleep at 4 a.m.


[i] All images by me.

Thursday July 24 2014

Ana Washing Dishes (July 24 2014) (1)[i]

☼ ○ ▬

Fruit Fly Mayhem: A plant on my bedside desk is infested with mealy bugs and fruit flies. I'm stressing out as I attempt to rid the pests. All the while my mom is visiting with me for some reason. She kind of surprised me showing up out of the blue. I ask for advice on what I can do to stop the fruit flies. I inspect the plant and notice almost all the leaves are wilted and falling off. I see a disgusting little clump of the bugs crowded along the edge of the pot. I pour water over it hoping to drown them.

▬ ○ ☼


Waking up to the subs in Josh's room. His response after I text him to cut the woofers for a while is, "Gotta get those rap beats bumpin; for my workout, dog."


Honey Crunch n Oats with Almond Milk.


Catching on news and writing.


Cantaloupe. Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich. Baked Salt n Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea.


Ana arrives. Working on a few songs together. Then we're off to the Rec Center. I deal my hand in organized basketball. It's an evening of highs and lows on the courts, literally and figuratively. I get plenty of opportunity to knock in shots – sometimes I'm on fire and other times I've gotta step down. Every now and then Ana takes a break from her workout and watches my games. She catches me putting down buckets right and left – impressing the girlfriend is a plus.


Banana. Orange Juice.


Sharing dinner with Ana back home: Black Beans, Brown Rice, and Homemade Slaw. Blackberry Pear Crispins. Darren and Devon happen to be enjoying a dinner of their own. We all sit around at the table as two couples. Darren talks about how much he's starting to love his Whole Foods job – he just got a raise and he's starting to view it as a possible long-term employment. Even in this positive light we still manage to vent about our struggles and complaints as delivery drivers for China Wok.

...

Feeling very satisfied with our dinner choice tonight. The tart sting of the apple cider vinegar in the slaw mixed in with the black beans and rice create a succulent combo.


Jupiter Creepin (July 24 2014)


While Ana bakes a cookie recipe she found recently I set up the big screen TV in the living room. Double Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies. They're burnt a little on the bottom (she claims it was the oats she added that caused it) but they're still delicious. I put on The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013), a movie that turns out to be heartwarming, inspiring, and hilarious. Kevin slurps up his after-work Ramen Noodles on the other couch.


Ana Washing Dishes (July 24 2014) (2)
The moment just before she realized I was taking pictures of her..."What are you doing?"


Daddy Long Leg (July 24 2014)
The Daddy Long Legs have taken up residence in the multitudes.


Chinese Evergreen Inspection (July 24 2014)


Upstairs in the bedroom. Both of us parched from all the cookies we ate. Sipping on OJ and water. Lounging in the bed. She pampers me – rubbing my back lightly with her delicate hands. Sex is inevitable.


After taking care of my usual bedtime tasks I join her back in the bed sometime after 4 a.m. 


[i] Images by me or Ana.

Wednesday July 23 2014

Purple Spiderweb made of Yarn[i]

☼ ○ ▬

They've got us locked behind this artificial wall with nurses and agents coming in to check on us from time to time. Late in the middle of the night I plan to make my getaway. I climb up the top of the flimsy wall, which leans over from the weight of my body. I hop over top. The nurses are sent in through the door in the center. By a series of careful and strategic movements I go unnoticed. I run through corridors and small tunnels within the walls of this godforsaken building. On the top floor I meet a girl who is the daughter of the head agent running this whole operation. She befriends me and helps keep me hidden. Up in the attic I come across a hostile spider made of purple yarn and about the same size as me. I stab its leg with a knife and the thing disappears.

▬ ○ ☼


Waking up around 1 p.m.


Honey Crunch n Oats with Almond Milk.


I discover mealy bugs on my Chinese evergreen so I take measures to clean them off with rubbing alcohol and a homemade insecticidal spray.


Cantaloupe.


General chores.


Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich. Caramelized Onion Hummus Crisps. Honey Green Tea.


Getting a few things from the store.


At the Rec Center working and shooting hoops.


Leftover Cod Filets with Potatoes, Onions, Brussel Sprouts, and Carrots.

Watching 13 Sins (2014).


Researching and preparing lessons for my new voice and piano students.


Caramel Filled Milk Chocolate.


At the storage unit practicing songs.


Sleep 4 a.m.


[i] Image unknown.

Tuesday July 22 2014

Tintype of Jude Law[i]

☼ ○ ▬

Darren visits some kind of upscale brothel. I stop by on my own accord and use the bathroom. When Darren catches me in the hallway he's surprised to see me.

"The only reason I'm here is because I needed to use the bathroom," I explain.

▬ ○ ☼


Waking up around 12:30 p.m.


Honey Crunch n Oats with Almond Milk.


Vacuuming and cleaning.


Scrambled Eggs. Wheat Toast with Vegan Cream Cheese and Strawberry Jam. Honey Green Tea.


At Music Makers studio to sit in on a couple piano/voice lessons with the current teacher I'll be replacing. I've never taught voice professionally but it's not something I can't handle.


Chocolate Rum Balls.


At the Rec Center for adult basketball. My game play is decent tonight and my team knows how to pass, just like the Spurs are known for doing. We win some and lose some. I'd say my shot percentage is at about 70%.


Baked Breaded Cod Filets with Brussel Sprouts, Carrots, Onions, and Potatoes. Sparkling Grapefruit Izze.

Watching Cold Mountain (2003).


Blueberries.


At the storage unit practicing songs.


Sleep 4:30 a.m.


[i] Tintype of Jude Law.

Monday July 21 2014

blue-ruin-2[i]

Waking up at 1 p.m.


Honey Crunch n Oats with Almond Milk.


Downstairs, I decide to clear out a space for all the brown paper bags we keep the recycle in. They're taking up a significant area in the dining room. I brought this little wooden shelf and bracket set from the thrift store a while back. I install it on the kitchen wall and use it to hold the toaster oven and toaster. "Toast Central" Tristan and I call it.

Me: "It's all about ergonomics, Tristan. Efficiency. Conserving Space."


TAOST SINTREL (July 21 2014)[ii]


Watermelon. Scrambled Eggs. Wheat Toast with Vegan Cream Cheese. Honey Green Tea.


At the Rec Center playing a few basketball pick-up games and working out. Ana's offended I didn't wait to ride together with her.


Back home.


Dinner: Black Beans, Broccoli, Onions, and Brown Rice. Sharing with Ana of course.


A lot of good social stimuli tonight with James, Tristan, Josh, and Allison around. It's Movie Monday and tonight's choice (democratically chosen) is Blue Ruin (2014), a low budget understated revenge thriller. Sharing Chocolate Rum Balls and Popcorn. Sophie cuddles up in a cave of blankets by the TV.


Kevin arrives home from work and...
Flex Central (July 21 2014)


Ana had some thoughts she wanted to share so I encourage us to go on a walk. I know if we can just get outside away from the constrained space in the house and feel the fresh summer night air then maybe that will calm the internal waters.

...

Ana: "Sometimes I feel like I don't have anyone to tell anything to. And I don't wanna bother you about anything. And it's just the same thing over and over again.

Me: "Why don't you just tell me the things you wanna tell me?"

Ana: "I don't know. I just feel like you're so judgmental about things. It doesn't really help."

Me: "I'm understanding. I mean I immediately point out inconsistencies because that's just the way I am. That's how I view the world. You see it as being judgmental. I don't judge you."

Ana: "I just wanna be with someone I can say anything to and I feel like I can't do that with you."

Me: "Yeah but you don't try. You hold back all the time. It's your fear that holds you back."

A sound of flatulence interrupts the sound of our words and footsteps.

Me: "Sorry. I farted."

We both laugh.

Me: "I had beans and eggs today okay!"

Ana: "It's okay. And you had broccoli."

...

Ana: "Lately I've been realizing that I could picture my life without you in it and I feel like there's something wrong with that."

Me: "Why is there something wrong with that? That's a good thing. When you have a relationship with somebody it's not because it's necessary. It's an added enjoyment in both person's lives. Cause I think of it the same way. Yeah sure I could be single. I could be alone. Yeah it'd be fine. But the relationship we have is both edifying for each other – it's about supporting each other."

Ana: "Sometimes I feel like it might be better if I concentrate on other things and you do too."

Me: "Do you feel like you're an inconvenience in my life?"

Ana: "I just don't wanna feel stressed out. I feel like I try too hard to come see you. I don't wanna be too much into your life. I feel like I'm in it too much."

...

Ana: "Like I really honestly feel like you and I shouldn't be in a relationship. I really feel that way. What's the point? I don't know. This is not the kind of relationship that I want—"

I run right into a spider web.

Disgusted I say, "I knew this was going to happen."

Ana: "Huh?"

Me: "A spider web!"

We change our walking direction. The sound of crickets and the interstate construction crew still audible in the near distance. That beep sound goes off every now and then, the sound Ana reminds her of a video game.

Me: "Alright what were you saying?"

Ana: "I think that you're better off and I’m better off."

Me: "Well let me just say being with you keeps me grounded and I feel secure. I need to be grounded so I can focus on other things in my life. Yeah I can be independent. I was raised that way."

Ana: "I like to be independent too. I still would like to know I can lean my shoulder on someone."

Me: "Yeah! Why can't you do that?"

Ana: "And I can't do that with you!"

Me: "Why? I don't understand! I don't give you any reason to...not trust me...you know to tell me things."

She brings up the blog problem from the other day when I posted some personal thoughts about how I was attracted to a stranger from last year.

Ana: "Yes I'm attracted to other people but I don't think that way! I don’t fantasize about other people.

Me: "You have to understand. You and I are not the same. Males have different sensibilities than females."

Ana: "I just expected more of you."

Me: "Like I said the other day. You're not allowed to judge my thoughts. Think about it this way...if I didn't have a blog at all and you never read anything about my life and all you had was these moments here and our memories, would you look at me differently? Would you look at the relationship differently?"

Ana: "Yeah."

At this point she starts to sound nervous and it comes out in her shaky voice.

Ana: "It just really hurt me. I know it's something really small but I'm not gonna pretend like it doesn't hurt me. I understand this is your point of view and it's just your thoughts. You shouldn't be sorry for what you think and I'm not gonna be sorry for what I think."

Me: "Well then I should just be sorry for exposing those thoughts. And think about this though you're being affected by this a year from the actual thing. It's out of context. You're reading something that happened a year ago. And in that time frame you and I weren't technically dating just yet. So I felt a little more free to write about that kinda thing. That's part of the rules of the blog project. I'm writing about everything, things that come up. I have to be honest about it. At the same time you're looking at it out of context. You're hurt by something that has no relevance to now! That's not fair. That's my perspective. It's insignificant. Do you not agree?"

Reluctantly she agrees.

Me: "You're letting this little thing affect you such a big way. It's like a cancer. Once you're aware of it, it just spreads. I don't like that."

...

Ana: "I just remember having a really good feeling about you."

Me: "You don't have that good feeling anymore."

Ana: "Sometimes I do. But there's certain things I'm not happy with."

Me: "But in any relationship there's gonna be certain things you're not happy with."

Ana: "I just wanna feel close!"

Me: "Okay well I'm supposed to be your dream guy. Why can't you be close to your dream guy?" [she has stated in the past that she used to see me as her dream guy]

...

Me: "I think that you should not make any rash decisions and search your heart and decide what's most important. Cause you know what they say..." Then start in my singing voice, "You don't know what you got till it's gone."

I reach my arm around her and say, "By the way I think you're really pretty. Did you know that? That I find you attractive?"

Ana: "Sometimes."

Me: "What do you mean sometimes? It's obvious."

...

Me: "I like you. I like everything that you like...everything that you're into. I like your view of the world. I like your perspective. I like your sensibilities."

The mosquitoes keep eating her legs up but not mine.

Me: "It's from all those sweets you keep eating – they like that sweet meat."


Back inside the house. She lies in the bed and recaps, "I'm glad we walked and talked."

Me: "Me too."


Sleep at some late hour.


[i] Blue Ruin image. 
[ii] Images by me.

Sunday July 20 2014

Sacred Harp Singing.[i]

Waking up at 11:15 a.m.


Honey Crunch n Oats with Almond Milk.


All day shift at China Wok.


Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich. Baked Salt n Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea.


Just getting through the day. Delivery here. Delivery there. Deliveries everywhere.


Clementines.


I had a concern that Ana might be a little uncomfortable reading about something I posted in the blog from last year, nothing I'm ashamed of or anything, but just thoughts I articulated in there that could've been hurtful. She didn't say anything but I could sense it. I sent her a little message explaining myself.


She visits me in the last hour of my shift and goes on a few deliveries with me. I explain something to her before she leaves...

"This..." I point in the space between us. "This is sacred...this relationship is sacred. And I will always respect that."


Off work and back home.

I hear a familiar voice in the living room. It's Tristan! We embrace and flex as we do so.

Fried Shrimp with Broccoli, Onions, and Rice in Garlic Sauce.

While watching Cold Mountain (2003) I'm reminded of sacred harp singing and I immediately get lost in research – searching for the best recordings and performances of the lost American art form. It's an incredibly powerful feeling that overcomes me as I listen to these southern angelic tunes.




Sleep 4 a.m.


[i] Sacred Harp Singing.

Saturday July 19 2014

Caleb Brown.[i]

Waking up at 10:45 a.m.


Honey Crunch n Oats with Almond Milk.


All day shift at China Wok.


The skies are thankfully cloudy today – not much sun shining through.


Clementines. Salad with Pumpkin Seeds, Chic Peas, Egg, Tomatoes, and Carrots. Baked Salt n Vinegar Chips. Strawberry Kombucha Tea.


By coincidence Ana happens to be driving behind me one car over on my way to a delivery. She's on her way to the bakery I assume. She texts me. I can see her car peeking from behind the other car. After my delivery I run over to the bakery and we exchange an embrace and a kiss. That smile of hers is so big I worry she won't explode from all the excitement – she's just a ball of sunshine for me on this overcast day.


The deliveries continue incessantly and the miles rack up on my odometer.


Banana. Fiberful Peanut Butter Chocolate Granola Bar.


I snag an Egg Roll next to the fryers that developed a hole in it. That's the cool part about this job is I always get first dibs on food that can't be sold but is still good.


Off work and back home.

Tofu with Broccoli, Onions, Carrots, and Rice in Garlic Sauce.


Relaxing. Chores.


Sleep 3:30 a.m.


[i] Caleb Brown.

Friday July 18 2014

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Waking up late for work at 11:30 a.m.


Honey Crunch n Oats with Almond Milk.


All day shift at China Wok.


Green Grapes.


Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich. Baked Salt n Vinegar Chips. Strawberry Kombucha Tea.


It must be Give Your Dog a Car Ride Day because I've seen dogs hanging out of the window of countless cars. One dog in particular will not cease barking. He barks at the stoplights. He barks in the wind. You can see his slobber splattered all along the side of the car. The little Asian woman who's driving doesn't seem phased.


Ana Drops by to visit and give me a salad from the bakery. Half napping she rides around with me on deliveries. We jam to some old school dance pop tunes from back in the day – and then Smashing Pumpkins.




Banana. Fiberful Peanut Butter Chocolate Granola Bar.


Just plowing through the day dealing with a few disappointments but for the most part runs smoothly.


Off work and back home shortly after 11 p.m.

Mongolian Chicken with Mixed Vegetables. Crispin Blackberry Pear Cider.

Watching Transcendence (2014).


Sleep 3:30 a.m.

Thursday July 17 2014

Willapalooza 2014 (July 17) (13)[i]

Waking up around noon.


Honey Crunch n Oats with Almond Milk.


Ana busies herself in the kitchen baking a cake from scratch for Will's birthday party tonight.


I get some things from the grocery store.


Banana. Scrambled Eggs. Wheat Toast with Vegan Cream Cheese. Leftover Slaw. Strawberry Kombucha.


The kitchen is quite crowded today – Ana's still working on the birthday cake, Darren and Devon are cooking, and Josh is cooking.


Salsa Tortilla Chips. Runa Guayusa Energy Tea.


Eventually, I end up at the Rec Center. Playing adult basketball. Fortunately, I don't get wait listed. But my game play is disappointing to say the least. I think I only scored two shots in all five of my games. The problem is when I'm hooked up with guys that can handle the ball and lead the scoring the pressure gets passed on to me. I play better when the team is balanced. Plus, a couple of my teammates are simply hotheaded and too serious. Either way I get a good workout.


Back home. The birthday patrons pile in one by one. Ana and I chow down on Cranberry Beans and Bok Choy. Vincent appropriately titles our meal Bok n Beans. Fashionably late, Will shows up with a keg and a bunch of Lumpia. Music performances are given by Little Pants, Ana and I, Ken, and The Nerdlucks. You'd think this was a Show N Tell but it's a little softer than that. Ana's Double Chocolate Almond Strawberry Cake turns out to be a hit.

Willapalooza 2014 (July 17) (1)

Willapalooza 2014 (July 17) (2)

Willapalooza 2014 (July 17) (7)

Willapalooza 2014 (July 17) (10)

Willapalooza 2014 (July 17) (11)

Willapalooza 2014 (July 17) (12)



Someone gets the bright idea to do keg stands until the last drop. Even Ana gives it a go but not I, cause I'm "a bitch" according to Kevin.

"College rules!"


My stomach is not happy with me – the same story goes for Ana. We lie down in the bed retreating from the social stimuli – recapping the night's events.


Sleep at some point.


[i] Images by me.