Saturday January 30 2010


I wake up around noon.

In my dream I am driving my van to go pick up my parents. For some reason I’m going through buildings and malls in sketchy parts of town where along the side are scattered people. A few of them step out in front of my van intentionally and mock me. I keep driving onward knowing they will move when I get closer and they do.

I make hot Oat Bran Cereal with Cinnamon but no Blueberries (I ran out). I drink Immune Defense.

Snow covers the ground outside the house and its beautiful.

Everybody comes over bringing their boogie boards and we go to The Cavalier, an old hotel built in the 1927. There are a few steep hills to slide down. A few employees of the hotel come out and yell at us, telling us to leave claiming it is private property. One of them is very rude to us and calls Rocky names. A fight almost starts. We leave and settle for a hill off the First Colonial Road ramp on I-264. FUN.

My parents are in town and my Mom cooks Chicken and Dumplings with green beans for all of us.

I make snow cream:


I work at China Wok for an hour or so.

Peach Cobbler and a bunch of movies, Wayne’s World, Jurassic Park, Saved!, The Matrix, Big Fish.

There’re a lot of people here at the house. I feel a little reclusive and stay in my room with some Black Currant tea. I read the Bible and a little bit of Notebooks of a Naked Youth.


[i] Snow Porch. Image by me.

[ii] Snow Cream. Image by me.

[iii] Icicle. Image by me.

Friday January 29 2010


I wake up at 12pm to sell a water cooler and then go back to sleep.

I wake up again at 1:24pm to find out my roommate Emily just got into an accident with her new car. Her front bumper is gone. She has been in quite a number of car accidents in her lifetime, too many for one person really. I start to think about what causes history to repeat itself e.g. the Kennedy – Lincoln connections, the Vietnam War and the Iraq War. Do people just have bad luck? Or do they make conscious choices that continually bring them to repeat mistakes or misfortune?

I move and organize some things around the house to prepare for tonight’s Show N Tell.

Work at China Wok.

Dinner: Vegetable Lo Mein.

SHOW N TELL! About 30 to 35 people show up. Original poetry, music experimentation, dream sharing, song sharing, day sharing, monologue, jokes, book reading, power point presentation, violin solo, and paintings. It is a success.

Honey Sunshine cereal.

Art and I play NBA Jam again.

[i] Show N Tell. Image by me.

Thursday January 28 2010


11:50am. I wake up a little earlier than usual.

My Dream: I’m riding in the tour van with the Mae guys on this bridge. We just got done doing a show in The Bermuda Triangle (here it wasn’t just a body of water but an island). I observe all these strange occurrences and I try to convince everyone that the island is an anomaly. I point out the floating trees above the water, the blue spherical shield covering the island, and the sudden lightening flashes. Everything about it is surreal.

Breakfast: hot Cinnamon Oat Bran Cereal with Blueberries and Strawberries, Orange Juice, and Zinc and Vitamin E.

I watch Obama’s State of the Union Address on Youtube: an inspiring speech.

I wash clothes.

Lunch: Grilled Cheese with Tomato and Baked Lay’s, Honey Green Tea.

Work at China Wok. I get frustrated because people do not understand the concept of tipping a delivery driver.

Dinner: a piece of cold leftover Pizza, Soybeans, and Carrots with Ranch.

Alex Bailey brings over his paintings to display at Show N Tell tomorrow night.

Band practice with Josh, Chad, and Josiah: productive. We continue to work on this new song as well as other Tokyo songs.

Honey Sunshine cereal.

[i] Emerald Forest, World of Warcraft. Taken from

Wednesday January 27 2010


1:53pm I wake up.

I dream that Albert Einstein is staying at our house. He has an attitude and demands Rocky cook him food. He’s very precise about what he wants. Rocky seems timid while she grabs some food on the coffee table and prepares the meal.

Breakfast: a Bagel with Cream Cheese and Orange Juice with Zinc and Vitamin E.

I organize some things in the house and sell a record player and treadmill.

Lunch: Grilled Cheese with Tomato, Baked Lay’s, and Honey Green Tea.

I go to Lynnhaven Mall to do a mystery shop for Hollister and run into some friends from high school. I realized my high school reunion is 2 years from now.

I stretch, exercise, and dance.

I eat my leftover Bok Choy and Rice dish with an Egg while I watch some of The Bourne Ultimatum [2007]. And for dessert, Breyer’s Vanilla Bean Ice Cream with Chocolate Sauce.

I work out some new songs on guitar.

NBA Jam with Art again.

[i] Photo of Albert Einstein playing violin. Associated Press.

Tuesday January 26 2010


Somewhere between 1:30pm and 2:00pm I wake up.

In my dream it’s nighttime. I have to go to work. I drive up to China Wok and park my car. For some reason my workplace is in a different city. There are 3 or 4 bums roaming around the parking lot. One of them, a black male with distinct freckles on his face, starts talking to me asking for money. I’m worried because I still have $500 on me I forgot to deposit in the bank. I decline, walk in and start taking orders behind the register. It’s very busy. The bum walks in and follows me behind the counter. He’s very persistent and there is something about him that makes me feel uncomfortable. I get the impression he’s attempting to rob and hurt me. There’re a lot of customers in the restaurant. They, nor the Chinese people I work with seem to be bothered by what’s going on. I end up in the back somewhere. Of course the man ends up back there with me. I get angry and explain to him if he doesn’t leave I’m calling the cops. He still keeps talking to me. I pick up the phone and attempt to dial 911 but actually dial 915 or something like that. Eventually I get connected and I can’t give them the address because I don’t know it. I start describing my situation while the man is standing in front of me listening. I start getting emotional and insist I have sympathy for the man.

Breakfast: hot Cinnamon Oat Bran with Blueberries and Orange Juice. Also, Zinc and Vitamin E.

I deliver a mattress to a lady on Mount Pleasant Road.

While I’m driving, I eat a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich with Baked Lay’s and Honey Green Tea. After only a minute of setting down my crust in the passenger seat, an ant appears. About two months ago I had an infestation of ants in my van. So seeing a random ant every now and then is quite normal. I learn to accept the ant’s immortality.

While showering, stretching, and exercising I enjoy these songs:

Walkabout (feat Noah Lennox of Panda Bear) – Atlas Sound

Dominos – The Big Pink

Bruises (Passion Pit Remix) – Chairlift

White Sky – Vampire Weekend

M79 – Vampire Weekend

Brooklyn King – Masta Killa

I cook Bok Choy, Onions, Celery, and Rice for dinner with leftover Chicken from Red Lobster.

Megan, Joey, and Josocky (Josiah and Rocky) come over to the house.

Honey Nut Cheerios at Margot’s. After not seeing or conversing for the past week we catch up on the state of our connection. Change. Space. Seasons. Feelings. Happiness. Sexuality. Wants. Needs. Distance Is Healthy. Perspective.

[i] Indian Summer, 2004. Michael Parkes.

Monday January 25 2010


It’s around 1pm. I wake up.

MY DREAM: I’m meeting someone in an abandoned warehouse. The cops (or some kind of government authority) tracks where we are and tries to catch us. I run through the warehouse and make it to the roof. I get a running start and jump off the roof in hopes I can fly away. My technique involves flailing my arms as if I was swimming. The faster I move my arms the higher I soar. Whenever I do this in my dreams I always have a hard time controlling the momentum. I successfully fly off the roof and I can see the authorities following me on ground. I slow my arms down and start to land somewhere but realize they are still close so I keep going. Somehow I fly over this field where Africans are harvesting and selling crops. All of a sudden I’m in the Philippines and Mae is supposed to play a show. I’m in some sort of mall and Dave Elkins is being interviewed in front of a tall stack of TV’s. I’m sitting nearby talking to Jacob Marshall and he explains to me this new trick he learned to do where he dives straight across the ground like a torpedo similar to one of the action moves Rayden can do in Mortal Kombat.

I eat a Plain Bagel with Cream Cheese and Orange Juice. I take Zinc and Vitamin E.

I transport an entertainment center and treadmill to my house.

For lunch: toasted Peanut Butter Sandwich with Baked Lay’s and Peach Yogurt with Strawberries.

Emily and I eat dinner at Red Lobster (I have a gift card I need to use). We split Chicken Linguini Alfredo and a big Chocolate Chip Cookie with Ice Cream. We talk about Love, Existentialism, Religon, Mistakes, Our Friends, Fathers, Forgiveness, Confidence, Being Beautiful, Being Happy, Being Comfortable, Wanting Normalcy, and How Funny It Is When People Assume We Have Hooked Up But We Never Have.

I start watching Persepolis [2007] while I stretch and exercise.

I make Coffee and share some Sampoerna (Indonesian) clove cigarettes with Art, and newly acquainted friends Tarah and Heather in the attic.

I eat buttered Toast with Japanese Sweet Red Bean Spread.

Art and I play NBA Jam to conclude the night. We both break 100 points.

[i] An old abandoned warehouse in Toronto. Photo by Mark. Taken from

Sunday January 24 2010


1:25pm I wake up to my roommate Emily’s annoying cell phone alarm.

IN MY DREAM: I’m with Emily in our room. We’re lying on the floor and talking about how bad of an idea it would be if we kissed or had sex because we live together. “Well…you need it,” she says. She gets on top of me and tries to kiss me. I try to avoid her lips by just nuzzling because I’m very unsure about all of it. Edwin is roaming around the house on the phone. One of his friends is there and I hear Edwin say, “Oh. You’re going to Italy?” Emily is concerned about someone popping in our room. I tell her, “When has anyone ever just barged in the room?” I notice a tattoo just below her left shoulder. It looks like a color photo. It’s of me wearing my brown striped shirt with the lightening bolt along with two other friends I used to know a few years ago. I thought it was strange but I didn’t make mention of it because I figured she didn’t want me to see it.

For breakfast: hot Oat Bran Cereal with Cinnamon and Blueberries along with Orange Juice. I also take Zinc and Vitamin E

I watch a little bit of The Arrival [1996].

I eat a Tuna Sandwich with Baked Lay’s Chips and Avocado.

I work at China Wok 4 to 8.

For dinner: DiGorno Pizza Supreme and Carrots.

I go to my mother’s friend Tammy’s house to retrieve a few more things to sell on Craigslist. She moved out and the house is vacant. While I’m taking apart the treadmill I stop and think about how empty the house is. No life. No presence. It’s a sad feeling.

I have a major headache.

Ambrotious (the cat) lies right beside my face and I listen to his motor run while I finish watching The Arrival.

My eyes feel heavy.

I brush and floss my teeth. Sleep.

[i] A magazine cutout. Image by me.

Saturday January 23 2010


Its 12:56pm. I wake up to my roommate Emily knocking on my window because she’s locked outside of the house.

My dream: There’s an amusement park at night. I’m standing from a distance looking at it as if it was a photograph. There’s a train that streams around the perimeter of the park. Someone yells, “Let’s go to Jakarta!” I have my long board with me. My shoes are off and the asphalt ground is wet as if it had rained recently. I meet someone that works there and he takes me to see the animals. I see three horses in a stable. I walk up and one of them swings their head around bumping my head gently and lovingly. I respond and rub the side of his face. The horse continues to bump his head into mine. It makes me feel tingly and I get goose bumps.

I eat a Plain Bagel with Cream Cheese and Orange Juice along with Zinc and Vitamin E.

I stretch my body.

I work on a few songs with the guitar.

For lunch, a Grilled Cheese with Tomato and Lettuce, Baked Lay’s, and Honey Green Tea.

I work my delivery job at China Wok.

While waiting for orders to be ready at work, I read an excerpt in Adbuster’s magazine and think about this: staying neutral, or doing absolutely nothing within a situation may seem like an easy way to prevent hostility but sometimes can cause even more offense.

I eat Vegetable Lo Mein and an Oreo Blizzard for dinner.

Band practice at the storage unit with Josh and Chad: productive.

I boil Soybeans: delicious.

I talk with my roommate Emily about sex and growing up.

My roommate Art and I play each other in NBA Jam again. He wins the last game of the night.

Good night.

[i] Horse on a farm. Image by me.

Friday January 22 2010


At 1:30pm I wake up. My eyes are heavy. In my dream I’m in the living room with a lot of friends. Wesley, Elliott, Emily, and Margot are there. And I’m sitting next to an unknown person on the couch. It’s late so we start sleeping. I hear the sound of water coming from the kitchen. I go to check it out and there is water draining from the ceiling behind the refrigerator. This is strange because there is no visible holes or cracks in the ceiling. I get angry and yell, “Fuck! Fuck this house!” Everyone wakes up. I grab some buckets from the porch to collect the water but the water is running too fast and I have to keep changing the buckets and dumping them outside. I notice it’s not even raining and it’s morning. I go to move the food pantry out of the way and slowly tip it over to the floor trying not to spill or drop anything. Everybody in the living room starts asking questions out loud to me.

I eat hot Cinnamon Oat Bran with Blueberries along with Orange Juice and take Zinc and Vitamin E pills.

I think about the benefits of being literally alone and not giving so much of my energy and attention to people.

I discover that Wawa’s air machine doesn’t cost any money to use.

I stretch.

I eat a Grilled Cheese with Tomato and Lettuce, Baked Lay’s Chips, and Honey Green Tea.

I work my 5 to 9 delivery job at China Wok.

I eat leftover Salmon, Broccoli, and Rice for dinner.

I make a cup of Coffee with Milk and Sugar.

Elliott invites people over to his house for Conan O’Brien’s last Tonight Show.

I eat Applesauce with Cinnamon.

I feel down.

I go to sleep.

[i] Upside Down House in the village of Szymbark in Poland.

Thursday January 21 2010


I wake up around 1 pm.

I ponder a dream I had a few hours ago. In the dream I was supposed to swim in Phil’s pool in the backyard but I didn’t have a towel to dry off in. It was raining softly in the evening. Next door I meet a nice old lady on her roof. She said she likes to watch the rain. She gives me a towel but I’m concerned about it getting wet from the rain as I walk back to Phil’s house.

I eat hot Oatmeal with Blueberries and Cinnamon along with a glass of Orange Juice. I also take Zinc and Vitamin E pills.

The day is rainy and cold.

I clean a couch I have on Craigslist and sell it to a couple.

For lunch, a Grilled Cheese with Tomato and Baked Lay’s chips and a glass of Honey Green Tea.

I work my 5 to 9 delivery job at China Wok.

I eat Vegetable Lo Mein for dinner.

I meet up with someone from Hampton and sell them a refrigerator.

I try to understand a close friend.

I run out of gas near the strip club on Oceana Blvd simultaneously while I am on the phone with Josh who is getting a ticket for a light out on his car. The cops follow him as he drives to his parents to fix it. Band practice is cancelled.

Elliott lends me a gas can to save my van.

I make Japanese Sweet Red Bean Toast and drink Coffee with a little Sugar and Milk.

I play my roommate Art in NBA Jam on Sega. I win all games.

Elliott and I watch National Lampoon’s Vacation [1983].

I eat Popcorn and Dark Chocolate Hershey’s Kisses.

I think about my old friends and how they see me as a person now.

I think about miscommunication and the telephone game.

I think about other’s cowardness and the unwillingness to confront people.

I think about your happiness.

I think about how I didn’t listen to any music today.

I shower, brush and floss my teeth, then go to sleep.

[i] Image origin unknown.

Wednesday January 20 2010


It’s around 1pm and I wake up to Rocky tapping on my window to tell me the blank CD I burnt for Josiah wasn't reading. I realize it’s because I used the blank CDs I bought in Indonesia and for some reason they don't work here in America. So I burn another CD while Rocky tells me about a bad dream she had last night.

I eat hot Oat Bran Cereal with Blueberries and Cinnamon with a glass of Orange Juice for breakfast. I also take Zinc and B vitamin pills.

I upload some items on craigslist to sell for my Mom's friend and talk on the phone with a few interested buyers.

I organize some new music I have.
Albums: A Brief History Of Love - The Big Pink
Contra – Vampire Weekend
How Sad, How Lovely – Connie Converse
Songs: Walkabout (feat. Noah Lennox (Panda Bear) – Atlas Sound
Midnight Walk – Barretso
Bruises (Passion Pit Remix) – Chairlift
Comme Des Enfants (Le Matos Andy Carmichael Remix) – Coeur De Pirate
Sing 99 & 90 – Lake
Brooklyn King – Masta Killa
Gardens Of The South – Sleeping States
Red King – Sleeping States
A-Punk – Vampire Weekend
M79 – Vampire Weekend
What’s Going On Mekon? (Jon Carter Remix feat. Roxanne Shant) – Mekon
Olive Me – NOFX
Jellybelly – Smashing Pumpkins
Zero – Smashing Pumpkins
Earth Intruders – Björk
Feel It In My Bones (featuring Tiesto) – Tegan And Sara

I like it when music comes alive to you and makes you think of people and feelings and environments.

I find an old book on dinosaurs I used to read when I was younger.

I stretch my body and exercise.

I eat a Grilled Cheese with Tomato and Salt n Vinegar Chips with a glass of iced Green Tea with Honey.

I watch Roman Polanski’s Chinatown [1973] sporadically throughout the day.

I cook Salmon, Rice, and Broccoli for dinner.

I play my roommate Art in NBA Jam on Sega Genesis.
He wins two games.
I win three games.

I make Coffee with a little Cream and Milk.

I play guitar and try to finish writing a few songs.

The caffeine makes me terribly hungry so I toast a bagel with butter and scarf it down.

I think about these things:
Living without dead time but living slowly and not rushing moments.
My mistakes and other people’s mistakes.
How I effect you. How you effect me.
I’m losing my hair.
I love my Mom.
I start reading Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby.
I think about sex.
I go to sleep.

[i] Untitled (Penitent Girl) 2002-02 Gregory Crewdson