This is an open and unfiltered diary-style journal
on the life of James Robert Smith.
This blog will contain sometimes graphic experiences (both beautiful and ugly),
sometimes stark insight, and all honest and factual documentation of dreams, diet, activity, and thoughts.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Catching up on business and chores.
Scrambled Eggs. Poppy Seed Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese.
Salt n Vinegar Chips. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers. It’s a short day cause of
Halloween activities. I watch over the front desk in between my lessons.
Eating some leftover Vegetable Soup for dinner with Ana.
Then, we go visit mom at the hospital again. Ana’s strutting
this purple wig she got and jokes about it being her alter ego, Rei. Mom wasn’t
having such an encouraging day for some reason. I help warm up her handmade hot
packs and make tea that we brought her.
Granola Cereal with Strawberries and Almond Milk. Irish
Breakfast Tea.
Running errands.
Catching up on business.
Scrambled Eggs. Bagel with Butter and Jam. Potatoes. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers. Kay and Lou help watch the
front desk again.
Back home. Ana and I cook dinner together using some
seasonal Squash Pasta Trader Joe’s had with Peppers, Onions, Tomatoes,
Broccoli, Pesto, and Garlic Bread.
Hanging out with mom in her hospital room. Things are
feeling more at ease but we still have to stay diligent. She’s chosen to move
forward with treatment. There’s still a lot of questions in her future but we
have to keep living in the meantime.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Catching up on business.
Dropping off some lentil soup to mom at the hospital. I
really want to make sure she gets the nutrition she needs.
Scrambled Eggs. Blueberry Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese.
Salt n Vinegar Chips with Avocado. Coffee.
At Music Makers teaching lessons. Kay and Lou are here
watching the front desk in place of mom. All goes well.
Back home. Ana made a big pot of Vegetable Soup.
Ana, Jenna, and I visit mom at the hospital. Mom explains
more details to them about what is all going on and what to expect in the future.
We have a good time with each other.
Back home. Ana and I chill out on the bed watching Prank Encounters, a new reality show
where they scare unsuspecting people and hosted by Gaten from Stranger Things. Eating Popcorn and
Gelato.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Catching up on chores and business.
Hard Boiled Eggs. Potato Chips with Avocado. Toast with
Butter and Jam. Coffee.
Wanda has been tending to my mom in the hospital being a
wonderful friend to her. She calls me on behalf of mom with some very upsetting
news. After doing more tests/scans and determining more info on the mass they
found on her adrenal gland, all the signs are pointing that the cancer has
entered her bloodstream. This is not good whatsoever. Some of the words Wanda
uses like “this could be the end” and
“funeral” don’t sit well with me. It
feels like I’m being hit with a ton of bricks. I’m feeling so overwhelmed right
now.
I have to power on and get into work. Luckily, I have Rachel
to handle the front desk at Music Makers for a few hours. There’s still much to
do in regards to the schedule and communicating with parents/customers until
8:30 p.m.
Japanese Style Fried Rice with Chicken Sausage and Kale.
I gather some things for mom and go visit her in the
oncology part of the hospital, room 2002. I sneak in some of that turmeric
supplement for her to keep taking. She had a very upsetting day but she seems
at peace. We talk about all the complications going on. Honestly, we have to
wait till she talks more with the doctors tomorrow to really know how to move
forward with treatment.
“I love you, Robert.”
“I love you too.”
She explains to me, “We have a special mom and son relationship.
We have no plans for death. We have plans for living. I don’t know what’s gonna
be down the road. But I think that we need to find a way to go somewhere, do
something – my plan is to live every day that I have as full as possible.”
Back home. I explain to Ana everything that’s going on.
MMLIVE rehearsals all afternoon from 1 to 6:30. This whole
week has been a blur – just one rehearsal to another – shows and shows – and
work. I’m really exhausted. Somewhere in there I eat a Banana, Coffee, and
Popcorn.
Back home. Eating some leftovers: Shrimp Egg Foo Young with
Kale, Carrots, and Rice.
Visiting mom at the hospital. She admitted herself last
night cause of terrible pains near her stomach. So far all we know from the scan
is that there is a quarter sized mass on her adrenal gland – that is what’s
causing the pain. She’s feeling defeated and I don’t know what to do. All we
can hope for is a miracle.
At the studio organizing things and doing some drum
maintenance (tuning the drum heads and tightening screws). Feeling overwhelmed
with all this. Just when we thought we were on a path to fighting this cancer
she comes across another stumbling block. I pause in reflection, leaning my
head on the desk, and praying.
The whole day is kind of a blur. Oatmeal breakfast was had.
Loading up the truck with music gear for the big show. Mom is at the front desk
at Music Makers not feeling great at all. She’s been unusually tired and upset
about her current conditions. I feel bad cause I don’t know what I can do.
But I have to press on towards Norfolk. At Toast for the big
LAVA Halloween show. I look forward to this every year cause it’s a one-off
opportunity for the music community to come together and play pretend performing
as other bands. We’re all out in the gravel parking lot with a big stage ready
for a stellar lineup: Pavement, Tom Petty, System of a Down, Fleetwood Mac, The
Strokes, and Black Sabbath. My role tonight is providing the drum set, playing
drums/keys in Fleetwood Mac, and playing guitar in The Strokes.
At some point I’m able to eat an Egg Sandwich and some
Tacos.
Hanging around with my Fleetwood Mac band mates. We truly
look the part all dressed in 70’s Fleetwood wardrobe. It’s almost near perfect.
Our set goes over amazingly. There seemed to be a lot of Fleetwood Mac fans
that came just to see us – they sang along to every song. Most everything went
to plan except for a few flubs here and there. I think I forgot the beat to “Go
Your Own Way” in the first verse. But we really created a buzz. There’re rumors
of future shows with this group.
I joke around with my Strokes buddies, “This is it!” a
reference to a Strokes song that represents the unpreparedness we all feel
after only having three rehearsals. We don’t do half bad. There’re a couple of
sloppy moments but sometimes rawness in a band is what makes a great show. And
Cameron, our lead singer Julian, really fell into the role marching around on
stage swinging the mic stand and interacting with the audience. At some point a
beer cup gets spilt near the monitors and mic cords – Cameron slides out in the
audience creating a manic scene of rockness. It looks like a sea of people out
there. According to Josh, there were about 600 people.
It’s all over with after 11 p.m. Everyone helps pack up and
load out.
Finding out after the show that mom had to admit herself to
the hospital. She was dehydrated and lacking in potassium. They ran a scan and
found internal bleeding near the adrenal gland. We don’t know what this means
for the moment until the morning.
Ana and I finish loading everything back into the studio and
relax at home. She wore a Sailor Mars costume that’s kind of scandalous. She
looks very attractive in it. We make fire in the bedroom.
Running errands – found the red lightning bolt strap Albert
Hammond wears in The Strokes at Alpha and got a couple of mic stand things.
Practicing and doing stuff at the studio.
Dinner: Chicken Sandwich with Fries and a Malassada. Kale
and Carrots.
Having our third and final rehearsal for The Strokes (or The
Strikes as we’re calling it). This time we have our Julian Casablancas, Cameron
Smith. Considering the last minute band thing we don’t do all that bad. None of
the solos are perfect and we don’t all remember the first note to every song
but we’re doing it all for fun and for rock and roll.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. Irish Breakfast Tea.
Having our second Strokes rehearsal with Stefan, Ronnie,
Ana, and myself. It’s really not bad. The hardest part is learning structure
and how songs end and begin. Our Julian will be here tomorrow we hope.
Back home for a hot minute for lunch: Scrambled Eggs. Toast
with Butter and Jam. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Tea.
At Music Makers for a long day of lessons. It’s really
tiresome doing afternoon rehearsals before teaching.
Ana and I grab some Pizza from Your Pie for dinner.
And then...another rehearsal for Fleetwood Mac tonight. It’s
our last practice before the big show on Saturday. We’re all syncing up and
playing so tight it’s really amazing.
Chilling out back at home. Catching up on things. Hanging
out with Ana. Figuring out my costume for the show.
Ana and I drive out to Norfolk to meet up with Ronnie at his
apartment. Going over Strokes tunes just the three of us. The songs aren’t
difficult in themselves but putting all this together last minute and trying to
remember the song structure is challenging.
Back home with just enough time to make lunch: Scrambled
Eggs, Kale, Toast with Butter and Jam, Salt n Vinegar Chips.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers. Before the teaching shift
starts I mention to mom how overwhelmed I’ve been feeling, more than usual. Slow down, Robert. I knew this week was
gonna be stacked cause of extra responsibilities with The Strokes and it being
the final week before the Halloween show.
After work I warm up some leftovers for dinner and hit the
road to Norfolk. I’m already late. Ladada has a show at Charlie’s and the boys
are already setting up on the stage. Earlier, I couldn’t find my wallet. When
getting closer to Charlie’s I keep hearing sounds coming from the roof of my
car. I check and there’s my wallet sitting as if it was magnetized or something
– a miracle. A few of the Lava tickets fell out but man that is crazy. And it
was definitely sitting there all afternoon too. By all the laws of physics that
wallet should’ve fallen off on the interstate. Somebody is watching over me and
giving me a break.
...
Inside Charlie’s I link up with Ana and all our friends.
Quickly setting up on the stage. As soon as Ladada hits the first note I
channel all my stress and aggression into the bass. I feel a sense of relief up
there. Earlier I was feeling like this show was just in the way of everything
but not anymore. It’s a fun receptive crowd as usual. Bobby tells me after how
synced up we were on the drums and bass.
Snake Mountain Revival, our band brothers, tear it up after
us. Then, Frankie and the Witch Fingers explode their form of psych rock and
everyone is enamored.
Later on, setting up the studio for Strokes rehearsal.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. Irish Breakfast Tea.
Ana picks up Stefan and Ronnie from Norfolk so we can all
meet up at Music Makers to rehearse The Strokes set for the first time! It goes
unexpectedly smooth considering all this is so last minute. Cameron, the one
imitating Julian singing, will link up with us Friday night.
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Butter and Jam. Salt n Vinegar
Chips with Avocado. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Back home. I brought some groceries for mom and I to make
dinner: Smoked Salmon, Acorn Squash, Kale, Onions, and Quinoa.
Catching up on business.
After Ana gets off work we talk and catch up over Chocolate
Chips Cookies. Then, we practice Strokes songs together.
Waking up bright and early at 6:30 a.m. Van call is at 7.
Downstairs, in the lobby meeting up with what’s left of the
A New World Record crew. Filling up on the complimentary breakfast: Oatmeal,
Eggs, English Muffin, and Juice.
I take the wheel of the white rental van, which is in my
name, and drive us all the way to the Dallas airport. It becomes a stressful
and confusing situation locating the rental car drop off place and lugging our
gear into check-in. The signage and the roads in these terminals are terrible.
Anytime, you’re dealing with flights and driving you’re guaranteed to
experience this. Ron and I partner up getting the vans dropped off and
patiently wait through security, where you essentially have to dismantle yourself
to get through.
I somehow left my iPod on Friday’s flight so I take an
adventure looking for the lost and found for American Airlines. Turns out they
didn’t have it.
On the flight to Norfolk I fortunately get a window seat and
can nap for as long as I want. No layovers anywhere, just a straight shot.
Mom picks me up from the airport.
Back home. Unpacking and catching up on everything.
Setting up the studio for Fleetwood Mac rehearsal.
Everyone’s here except for Elliott. But we all play well and
are feeling much more prepared and tight.
I’ve got a major headache. Sitting with Ana at the table
enjoying Chocolate Chip Cookies and Chamomile Tea.
Waking up bright and early at 7 a.m. to link up with
everyone at the vans. Jimmy points out how there’s absolutely no wind in this
Texan city.
I try to sleep as much as possible in the backseat curled up
every which a way.
Date and Almond Bar with Coffee. Jimmy takes the wheel and I
navigate in the passenger. Watching trailers of cattle and cows drive by with
the occasional longhorn.
After about 5 hours we arrive in Greenville, Texas. Checking
into the hotel for just enough time to take a shower and grab a Chicken
Sandwich across the street.
A few miles down the road we load into the Texan Theater,
which is located in a quaint ghost town of sorts with dive pubs on every
corner. This place is historic and known for hosting Houdini’s magic show back
in the 1890’s. Getting situated on stage – of course sound check is never
complete without a few stressful moments. We barely have time to relax before
we have to perform.
This show is special. They charge almost $200 per ticket,
which I guess includes dinner. Only 6 people paid and showed up. Ha! Compared to the packed house we had
last night it’s quite a contrast. But still we give those 6 people a powerhouse
show. They responded well and even danced a little.
Afterwards, they serve us a nice dinner up on the top floor
of the auditorium. Steak, Green Beans, Corn Pudding, and Chocolate Cake.
There’s some kind of tornado watch and a huge rainfall as we
drive away from the theater. Thunder and lightning flash constantly.
After we all arrive back in our hotel rooms safely I hole up
in mine reflecting and editing footage from the day. Grateful that we can
afford to be rock stars with each person having their own room. I realize
that’s a very valuable thing when on tour: privacy.
Waking up off and on in this hotel bed in Kerrville, Texas.
At some point I get up...
Making some Green Tea and having a Date and Almond Bar for
breakfast.
I spend a good amount of time studying some Strokes songs.
Last minute I recruited myself into Ana’s band for the Halloween show cause
their guitar player backed out. I got Ronnie on board too to do second guitar.
Meeting up in the lobby with half the crew driving up the
street to the venue for tonight: The Cailloux Theater.
Chomping down on a Chicken Sandwich with Fries.
Nice sound/backline/monitor crew to help us out. Show days
are always filled with time and preparation on stage. Sometimes it’s a hassle
getting everything in order and just right.
At some point we get a good sound check on stage and
everybody’s comfortable.
In the dressing rooms we congregate over barbecue catering.
I try to squeeze in a little Strokes songs studying borrowing one of the
guitars on hand.
We do our double 45 minute sets of all the greatest hits of
Electric Light Orchestra. The theater seems to be filled up with all kinds of
nostalgic older couples trying to relive their youth. The performance didn’t go
without a few hiccups but nobody would ever notice. Jorge, our strings guy,
hired three strings players from Dallas, Chinese born students from a
university up there. They came highly recommended – they definitely proved
themselves. We proved ourselves to the state of Texas!
Packing up and chatting with some fans out in the foyer.
Back at the hotel room catching up on the day and studying
more Strokes songs.
Ana and I grab a quick Coffee and Biscuit at Three Ships.
Beforehand we get into a heated thing in the car on the way there, mainly about
being free to voice opinions which of course we always do, but to a fault at
times. Either way, we cool off by the time we get inside and enjoy each other’s
company.
At the Norfolk airport and so begins the day of traveling...
Two flights, one to Dallas and one to San Antonio. Had a
PB&J, Plantain Chips, Apple, and Tea on the first flight. Trying to read
through Steppenwolf, a book I started a long time ago but never seem to
finish.
Landing in San Antonio. We almost have the full crew linked
up: Nigel, Ron, Bri, Leon, Jimmy, Francisco, and Jorge. Kevin’s supposed to
meet us tomorrow. Ron and I run down and grab two rental vans. The guy showed
us a parking lot full of a bunch of mini vans and told us to pick whichever we
wanted.
Some of us decide to hit up downtown San Antonio for dinner.
The famous River Walk was our only goal. It’s like a 6 mile canal that runs
below the city. We immediately find parking and locate an awesome Tex Mex
restaurant called Rita’s. With Ron, Nigel, Leon, and Bri – we all clink up our
margarita glasses in celebration of this super nice night. A mariachi band
walks around playing for people. Nigel of course somehow coerces them to play
“Baby Shark” while he does the floss dance. The whole restaurant cracks up.
Enjoying some Chicken Salad, Chips with Guac and Salsa.
Bri drives us about an hour to Kerrville, Texas where we’ll
be staying for two nights. This hotel is quite strange and very picturesque. I
walk around FaceTiming Ana on the phone while scoping out interesting German
style architecture spots. Meanwhile, there’s a live country band at the hotel
bar. The scene in here is very Texas with cowboy hat wearing couples holding
beers and dancing to the backdrop of the Texas and American flag.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. Black Tea.
Catching up on business and packing up things.
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Butter and Jam. Salt n Vinegar
Chips with Avocado. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Cooking some leftovers for dinner: Peas, Brown Rice, and
Green Beans.
At Ladada rehearsal with the boys. We always end up jamming
on new tunes and they always have potential to be actual songs but we’ll never
remember or feel the same inspiration later.
Stopping by the rehearsal spot to set up for Sunday’s MMLIVE
rehearsals, which I won’t be here for.
Back home. Packing up my suitcase and stuff. Meanwhile, Ana
is making those little leaf pins for her show tomorrow. She bought a much
needed new guitar amp today.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. Irish Breakfast Tea.
Ana and I run errands around Hilltop. Groceries at Trader
Joe’s. Plaza Bakery for cannolis – running into Russ, an older fellow delivery driver
from back in the day (I always run into him around town).
Scrambled Eggs. Cinnamon Raisin Toast with Vegan Cream
Cheese. Kale and Carrots. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Coffee.
Watching Fractured
(2019).
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Apple.
Making dinner: Salmon with Brown Rice, Baby Broccoli,
Onions, and Peppers.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Teaching a few afternoon lessons at Music Makers.
Immediately after I drive over to Smartmouth in Norfolk to
catch Ana’s band, Community Witch. There’s a big festival of sorts with a few
food trucks, tons of people with their dogs, and lots of bands scheduled. I
catch the band’s whole set. I’m really proud of Ana, Mel, and Jordan. They’ve
really developed a sound of their own.
Eating a heavy Sweet Potato Biscuit with Beets, Cheese, and
Spinach.
Back at the house. I don’t know why but I’m extremely
exhausted. Lying down for a power nap.
Later on, Ana arrives home. We hang out downstairs in the
dining room and kitchen blaring The Stooges and some doo-wop – dancing around
with nothing to worry about. Warming up some leftovers for dinner.
Late night bike ride together down to the oceanfront.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. Irish Breakfast Tea.
Catching up on business. Running errands.
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Butter and Jam. Broccoli. Potato
Chips.
Watching Jim Jarmusch’s documentary on The Stooges.
Helping Jenna screw in a couple things on her wall.
At the studio practicing drums.
Later on, with Ana, Jenna, Mel, and Jordan at Pizza Chapel
for Pizza and Cannolis. We happen to run into Zack and Josh from Snake Mountain
Revival. They end up joining up at our table.
The Community Witch girls wanted to practice at Music Makers
afterwards in preparation for their show tomorrow. I help them get set up in
the drum room.
Taking care of all sorts of things.
Poking my head in at the studio. Mel went home. Jordan and
Ana are still going over songs. I help coach Jordan a little on parts and sit
in on bass.
Meeting with Kim and Ellen at Music Makers. They’re from Red
Chalk Studios, the branding and marketing agency that helped us form a new
brand/logo/website/general makeover here. They’re filming an interview with me
asking questions about how Red Chalk has helped the business and so on. I love
their energy.
Practicing a little drums.
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Butter and Jam. Kale. Salt n
Vinegar Chips with Avocado.
Watching Ocean’s Twelve
(2004).
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Cooking dinner: Salmon with Bok Choy, Carrots, Onions,
Celery, and Rice. Mom just started her radiation treatment today. She’s been
feeling overwhelmed with everything. She walks in the door crying. It’s not
like we didn’t know what was coming but she’s just having a rough time –
despite, she’s still a fighter – her doctor(s) are confident she will go into
remission by the end of the year.
We didn’t have Ladada rehearsal so I head to South Beach
Grill to catch John’s (from DEJA) prog rock band, Kinetic Element. Anne, Jimmy,
DeeGee, and few other people I used to see at DEJA shows are here. The
keyboardist has 5 keyboards set up, totally beats my keyboard rig. They
performed a diverse set of songs, most of them 20 minutes long.
Waking up at 11:48 a.m. The power’s out for whatever reason.
A teeny bit of rain and wind going on outside.
Date and Almond Breakfast Bar. Cold Brew Coffee.
Ana, mom, and I run to Whole Foods to grab groceries.
Scrambled Eggs. Blueberry Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese.
Salt n Vinegar Chips with Avocado. Oolong Tea.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Lentil and Kale Soup with French Baguette.
Back at the studio having Fleetwood Mac rehearsal. Elliott’s
here sitting in on drums for the 80’s songs and Chuck’s adding some percussion.
It’s a full house, baby!
Settling down with Ana by my side. Sleep early around 3 a.m.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
At the Rec shooting some basketball around – playing a few
pick-up 3-on-3 games and King of the Court. Feels good to exercise. I barely
have time for it nowadays.
Scrambled Eggs. Plain Bagel with Butter and Jam. Salt n
Vinegar Chips. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Grabbing some quick dinner at Aloha Snacks: Salmon Poke Bowl
with a Malasada Donut.
Meeting up with Tristyn at the studio to go over keyboard
parts for the Fleetwood Mac band. We never get the chance at rehearsals to talk
in depth about what we’re doing.
Later on, Ana meets up here too – she just wanted to play
the drums.
Chilling out back at home with Ana watching a short film
Thom Yorke just put out.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. Irish Breakfast Tea.
MMLIVE rehearsals today. Very productive. This one band is
on a roll with song choices. First it was “Careless Whisper” now it’s “Africa”.
Mom mentions how much of a good song she thinks it is. I watch as she stomps
the kick drum along to the beat.
Snacking on Peanuts, Plantain Chips, a Banana, and an Apple.
After 6:30 we clean up the room and head home.
Cooking an easy dinner with mom: English Peas, Brussel
Sprouts, Carrots, Onions, and leftover Rice.
It’s nice to not have anything going on in the evening.
Running late night errands.
Later, at the studio practicing drums and fixing various
things.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Teaching afternoon lessons at Music Makers.
Got the truck and Ana’s car loaded up to full capacity with
music gear. Ana and I are playing a Musicplayer gig at Smartmouth in Norfolk
tonight from 6:30 to 9:30. I always need to get there early to set up the
stage. We actually get a lot of space here, which is nice.
Enjoying a Pizza from Chelsea Bake House.
We do our thing. Once we get deeper into the first set we’re
on a rhythm – got a good reception from the crowd – the kids are dancing and
throwing themselves around – the giant Jenga blocks are dropping in sync with
the end of our songs – the dudes are hollering over by the foosball table –
people are singing along. I dedicate the Fleetwood Mac song to a dog named
Turbo cause he was howling beforehand. The lady came up to us afterwards all
teary eyed thanking us. It feels like we’re doing something right.
Loading all the gear back to Music Makers. While I put
things back together and in their right place Ana and I discuss history,
religion, and politics.
