Thursday February 28 2013


Waking up at 12:33 p.m.

Strawberry Toaster Pastries. Orange Juice.

Skype chatting with Aysena. She sends me these ridiculous crappy photoshopped pictures of her that I can’t help but laugh at. Together we figure out what we’re gonna do when I come to Russia. Researching some hosts on

Practicing songs at the storage unit.

Back home – quick rehearsal with Anthony’s band. Then we caravan to a Thai restaurant called Thai Pan off Holland Road for the show.


Lots of friends and usual faces. Leisa enlightens us with her wispy voice, ala Chan Marshall, as Black Eye Magical. Elliott does a solo You’re Jovian set using an antique drum machine and a tiny mid-range sounding microphone. I do an acoustic set as Musicplayer. Then, Pinball Locomotive, the crowd favorite. I back up the band on piano. They clear the tables and chairs to open up the floor for dancing. Proud of the sounds emitting from our amps. The room provides a nice resonance.

Afterwards, gathering at Rick’s Café, a tradition after a show.

Catfish Strips in Cocktail Sauce. Broccoli, Mac n Cheese, and Texas Toast.

Amidst Darren’s mostly bitchy sarcastic ravings...

Me: “You ever stop to think that you stress people out Darren?”

James: “That’s part of his charm.”


“Thanks for the Ricks-perience everyone!”

Back home.

Cadbury Chocolate filled with Caramel.

Sleep 4:30 a.m.

[i] You’re Jovian. Image by Jose.

[ii] Images by Sasha.

Wednesday February 27 2013


☼ ○ ▬

Exploring an old abandoned building with a friend, similar to Rachel and Wyatt’s apartment complex. It feels like we’re embedded in a live-action story narrated by an unknown voice, a story with a somewhat tragic ending but the ending is yet to come. Alone. We’re left alone. Some lights are working but most of the hallways are darkened with only a faint glow from the streetlights coming in through the windows. I come across this cute little wiener dog. I forget his name but I’m compelled to pet him. Later I notice his face is contorted revealing his jaw line. It’s understood a car hit him. Two shady black guys come marching out of the elevator. I suspect they had something to do with it. I question them but they’re being evasive.

▬ ○ ☼

Waking up at 10 a.m. A sharp sunlight shines down on my sleeping spot through the shade-less windows.

I drive into the Georgetown part of DC and turn in my Russian visa application. The process of visiting another country is so complicated. I had no choice but to deliver this in person, as this is the requirement of the Russian Consulate.

Afterwards, I stop into a small coffee shop and order an Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese and a Coffee. Then browse overly priced antique books inside a tiny used bookshop.  

Then, on the road driving back to Virginia Beach.


Lengthy phone conversation with Leslie. I haven’t really talked to her since the Blacksburg trip last week. Catching up on recent events and ideas. She mentions how I’m one of the few with whom she trusts and is comfortable enough to confide in. I notice a slightly new spark of interest in our friendship from her end. I like it and I’m grateful to be a part of her life in such a meaningful way.

Arriving in Virginia Beach at 5 p.m.

Lentil Sandwich with Mayonnaise, Mustard, and Tomato. Potato Chip Trio. Honey Green Tea. Blueberries.

Power nap.

Practicing songs at the storage unit.

Garlic Barbecue Salmon with Mushrooms, Peppers, Onions, and Couscous.

Watching Hoodlum (1997).

Sleep 4 a.m.

[i] Rachel is a blonde. Image by me.

Tuesday February 26 2013


☼ ○ ▬

Hanging out in a boat on a lake with some guy. We’re talking about the troubles of relationships. I go on this rant...

“A relationship is like a house. You know? You gotta build it and put a lot of money into it. And some people are in debt for the rest of their lives over one.”

▬ ○ ☼

Waking up around 1:30 p.m.

Instant Blueberry Oatmeal with Strawberries. Coffee with Honey.

Driving around running important errands.

Banana. Orange.

Egg Sandwich with Cheese, Mayonnaise, and Tomato. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea.

I get called into China Wok because it’s raining hardcore. Apparently lightening struck somewhere in the city causing power outages in some neighborhoods. An hour and a half of work and I leave with $40. I can’t complain.

Practicing songs at the storage unit.

Packing up and preparing to hit the road.

I start driving up to DC at 11:30 p.m.


Spaghetti with Onions, Peppers, and Cheese Bread.


The iPod plays non-stop. Smashing Pumpkins, The High Strung, and that IROC-Z song from back in the day. I make it to Alexandria in 3 hours flat, the perks of driving over night on traffic-less interstate.

I planned on sleeping at Rachel and Wyatt’s new place. As I’m pulling up to the apartment complex I spot Wyatt walking in front of the building adorned in a cheetah jacket (“cheap white boy pimp”). Not but a few moments earlier he was dealing with quite a stressful situation involving a bribe with a tow truck driver to stop him from towing a friend’s car, the cops harassing him and smashing his 40 on the ground (according to him the cops exact words were, “I’m gonna have to smash this.”), and accidently dropping a box of nails/sharp objects along the parking lot and puncturing a nearby driver’s tires. What a night for him.


I park my car further up the street. He comes with. As we walk back to the apartment he gives me the rundown of the manic events that lead them to this city. They’ve been through a stressful transitory period these past few months.


Inside their apartment. It’s right next to the Potomac River and the border between Virginia, Maryland, and DC. Wyatt hands me this notebook filled with a narrative manuscript written by some 400 pound black guy that comes into the tattoo shop he works at regularly. He entrusted Wyatt with it so they could come up with a way to illustrate it into a graphic novel. The guy wrote it while locked up in a Korean prison. Wyatt seems baffled by the writing. It’s terribly interesting.

In response to all the stress Wyatt had to deal with Rachel shouts out, “Wyatt, you’re such a delinquent!”

I know she’s only poking fun at him but all the other things I listen to her say to him, and as I observe their interaction, I can’t tell if she’s joking or if she really is being too judgmental of him. It’s a different side I’m not used to seeing. But this isn’t anything uncommon in relationships of this nature where two people live in such close quarters all the time.


At some point I settle down on the hardwood floor with the sleeping bag I brought, propping a pillow underneath my hip to cushion it. Sleep sometime around 5 a.m.

Quoted from the manuscript: “It’s 3142 A.D.E. So many wars have come and gone. So many people have died, but humanity continues on. The population is about 6.5 million world wide, and we are at peace with ourselves and our planet. The creation of the praise arc helped usher in a techno-spiritual revolution. We have become a collective Priesthood communicating thru Psychic amplifiers that allows us to control our machines as well as our bodies. The amplifier is surgically implanted into the skull, on two points of entry. The first is on the center of the forehead right thru the 3rd eye and situated between the bi-sections of the left & right halves of the brain and completely going thru the frontal lobe. The second implant is on the occipital lobe mirroring the first implant. Because of such things our society is very much plutonian. There are no gender biases. The sexes tend to group themselves together into separated groups naturally. The leaders of every grouping in society are always a coupling of men and women symbolizing the perfection of the union. There is no ‘I’ in this future, only ‘We’. And everyone speaks as such. We eat very little and sleep is done away with. There is a dream network that is shared between us and the living will of the planet along with other organisms. That place is where we truly live. With all of these wonderful things happening you would think all is perfect, but there is always a threat to society as well as life. It looks as if there is a flux in time.

[i] Images by me.

Monday February 25 2013

[No photo provided because deemed not important for today.]

Alarm goes off at 11 a.m.

Orange. Raisin Soda Bread. Coffee.

All day shift at China Wok.

It’s a slow day at work.

Egg Sandwich with Mayonnaise and Tomato. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Lemon Water.

Doing some research on traveling to Russia.


Tips are generous for a Monday.

Vegetable Lo Mein.

Off work and back home.

There’s a general ruckus going on downstairs.

Filling out forms and starting the process of applying for a visa.

Berry Pie.

Sleep 4ish a.m.

Sunday February 24 2013

Waking up around 11:30 a.m.

Strawberry Toaster Pastries. Orange Juice.

All day shift at China Wok.

It’s a beautiful day with a slight chill in the air.

While waiting at a stoplight off Laskin Road I observe a man walking on the sidewalk. When he approaches Old Point National Bank he takes it upon himself to unearth the bank’s entrance sign, struggling at first but eventually succeeding after he decides to ram into it at full force. He gets up off the ground and looks around to see if anyone’s watching, then continues on down the street like nothing ever happened. I laugh to myself. What in the world did I just see? Pent up aggression? He must’ve been angry about something. I can no longer be surprised by all the strange things I see on the streets.

Sweet & Spicy Pecans. Peanut Butter English Muffin. Goldfish Crackers. Honey Green Tea.

Delivering an order to Terrace Ave. I remember this guy from 3 or 4 months ago because last time he ordered he never came to the door or answered his phone. I ended up calling the cops just in case because I thought maybe something happened to him inside his house or something. This time he comes to the door and we make a transaction. I ask him about the previous mishap to see if he remembers. Apparently, it was nothing. He had left his house and forgot that he even ordered. He apologizes and says, “I’m not usually like that.”

Fried Shrimp with Broccoli, Onions, Carrots, and Rice in Garlic Sauce.

Cake and Almond Milk.

Fiddling with old songs from back in the day. Exercising.

Sleep 4 a.m.

[i] Source unknown.

Saturday February 23 2013

Alarm goes off at 11 a.m.

Orange Juice. Sweet & Spicy Pecans.

All day shift at China Wok.

Five Guys French Fries with Ketchup. Honey Green Tea.

It’s a rainy day at China Wok, not so cold, but still dreary.

Delivering an order off Mill Dam Road. A mom answers the door with her son wailing on a trumpet in the background. The boy messes up a little, grins and says, “Heh-heh. That sounded like a fart.” Then he continues to blow into it in the same fashion getting a kick out of the flatulence sounds.

The day continues steadily – making decent tips but nothing to boast about.

While listening to Björk on the stereo I notice a strange new feeling of apathy about things. As I go through the motions of driving on the job and the motions of my thoughts I take on an attitude of whatever. Like, I just don’t care about anything. Being unaffected. I’m not sure how this was sparked. But I feel it today more than ever. Maybe I’m just exhausted with the world, exhausted with people. “The routine malaise.”

It’s about 10:30 p.m. and I’m cashing out at the restaurant. The phone rings of course. And I’m obligated to deliver this. Not only is this order hella far, out on 80th Street, but the bastards didn’t even tip me. There goes 30 minutes of my night and gas wasted. I’m tempted to call the customer back and scold them, or at least shed light onto my disappointment in a professional way. But I don’t. Whatever. I’ll stick to apathy

Back home.

Hot and Sour Soup with Broccoli and Rice.

Watching Employee of the Month (2004).

Sleep 3:30 a.m.

[i] Dr. Manhattan. From the comic.

Friday February 22 2013


Waking up around 2 p.m. It was a long night wrapped in my head.

Strawberry Toaster Pastries. Orange Juice.

Business. Errands.

Egg Sandwich with Mayonnaise and Tomato. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Strawberry Kombucha Tea.

Watching Breakdown (1997).

I get called into China Wok for two hours. It’s so swamped they needed a third driver. I do my best to facilitate the mayhem inside the restaurant. Making a few extra bucks.

Udon Noodle Soup. Banana Nut Bread. PBR.

Attending the Mae show at The Jewish Mother down the street. It’s the ten-year anniversary of their first album – a sold out concert – Mae family reunion. Hardcore fans came from all over the world to be here, some flew from Japan, some flew from California. It’s strange not being behind the piano and watching from afar. Mingling with old faces. At some point Dave invites a happy couple to the stage and I witness a marriage proposal right before they perform “Soundtrack”. Jake Clemons, a saxophonist from back in the pre-Mae days, joins them on stage for “Tisbury Lane”.


After the show I shake hands with everyone. Rob Sweitzer, the original keyboardist and the one I replaced all those years touring, shakes mine and offers some kind words. Referencing the time when Josiah and I were asked last minute to tour with Mae, “I really appreciate you. You saved us back there. You’re a very talented musician. I really mean that.”

Me: “Of course. I was grateful for the opportunity.”

It’s always nice to hear those kinds of things.


Standing next to Zach and sharing a few words. A fan comes up to him and, with a sincere and grateful look, compliments him on the show and says, “I just wanna say...your music really moves me.” He’s almost teary eyed. The guy leaves and I turn to Zach, “You can’t ever get sick of those kinds of comments.”

“Definitely not,” he replies.

Back at the house. There’re a few people hanging out. Anthony runs around with a bat in hand whacking the walls hard enough to make a racket. It’s one of those nights where it’s deemed necessary to release pent up aggression. With that mentioned, eventually Kevin’s door gets destroyed.

Snacking on Popcorn and Goldfish Crackers.

Sleep 3:30 a.m.

[i] Image by me.

Thursday February 21 2013

Dark Mean album cover.[i]

Waking up around 1 p.m. in my own bed.

Strawberry Toaster Pastries. Orange Juice.

Looking through my mail that I received while I was gone the past three days. A Valentine card from my mom. < 3. And an envelope from Aysena with a postcard and some letters. From Russia with Love.

Package from Aysena (Feb 21 2013)

“I’m so glad I have friend as you whom I can send such a stupid and causeless letters.


I’m not such good writer. Have no muse and all. Just writing some things that just came from my mind. I’m so bad at writer. Thanks God I’m good at math. If I wasn’t I would be most useless person in da whole world.”

I get on Skype to chat with her.

Her: “I want you heee-re...with me. Someone to take care of me cause I’m just all alone. I need love.”

Me: “You need love? Everybody needs love.”

Her: “I want it...too much.”

Grilled Cheese with Tomato. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Lemon Water.

Watching Skyfall (2012).

Catching up on life.

You creep, creep, creep through the tender walls of my heart. I feel it ever so slightly. Do you approve of…me…of my light?

Garlic Barbecue Salmon with Broccoli, Onions, Peppers, Carrots, and Rice.

Finishing Skyfall (2012).

Coffee with Brown Sugar and Almond Milk.

Trying to read. I call Becca instead for something a little more uplifting. I feel like going for a walk even though it’s trifling cold out. Smoking a clove and venting to her about some of my recent bitter and sentimental thoughts.

Snacking on Goldfish Crackers and getting lost in my thoughts while listening to particular songs over and over again. God these melodies seep inside the cracks of my skin...enhancing this beautiful mood. The purity of what I’m feeling is so much that I even pass on my usual nightly sexual release. I just let the music play...let it lull me to sleep, something I don’t often do when I go to bed.

Sleep around 5:30 a.m.

[i] Dark Mean album cover.

Wednesday February 20 2013


☼ ○ ▬

We’re back home from Blacksburg. All of a sudden I’m on the clock at China Wok driving the green Ford Windstar minivan I used to own back in the day. Leslie’s in the passenger seat. We almost get into an accident after someone cuts me off. In the moment Leslie grabbed my hand suddenly, I guess to feel safe. Later she hops on top of me making it difficult for me to drive. While on my lap she just watches as I peer my head around her to see the road. For some reason I’m delivering to a new address that’s supposed to be her house but she won’t tell me how to get there. She’s being playfully evasive. Its somewhere on Whitehurst Landing. Driving is useless so I pull over in a driveway.

Leslie confesses, “Sorry I have walls up.”

Me: “It’s okay. I understand. There’s a time in somebody’s life they should keep walls up to protect them. But they should tear them down eventually.”

For some reason I see Stephanie in the driver’s seat and some dude hops into the passenger side. Getting frustrated with all the commotion.

Leslie doesn’t take a liking to all the extra distractions and says, “We’ll talk about this another time when you’re alone.”

Me: “Uh. Okay.”

Then I turn to Stephanie and scold her, “Stef! I have to deliver Chinese food! So get out of the car now.”

Stef: “Ugh. I just need to get to my house.”

Leslie takes off on foot down the street. I catch up to her and yell out, “Hey! I had a fun time.”

Without turning around she mumbles something agreeable.

▬ ○ ☼

Not only is James The Snack Monster but he is also The Snore Box. Early in the morning Leslie and I writhe in our respective sleeping spots while James emits repeated snoring sounds. I bang my baby pillow on his leg to wake him up a few times. He leaves around 10 a.m. after realizing none of us are getting up. I sleep until around noon. 

Leslie and I walk over to Becca’s apartment where she made everyone breakfast.

Scrambled Eggs. Pancakes. Coffee.

Thrift store shopping.

Sitting down in the Goodwill bookstore with Leslie waiting for Becca to finish cutting James’s hair at the salon. Skimming through a $1.50 copy of the Anne Frank diaries. Talking with her about the strange funk she’s currently in. I myself feel somewhat somber and despondent. But it’s a rollercoaster of moods. We overhear an older couple in their mid-50s discuss which books to get their children. The two of us are mildly entertained by their conversation...

Woman: “Look. Wolves.”

Man: “I like wolves. They’re beautiful. But I wouldn’t wanna come up on one. It’s a little like a tornado; you only wanna see it from a distance.”

Then back to the apartment for dinner food.

Leftover Pizza and Lentils.

Engaging in a lot of comical nonsense talk.

Leslie: “I would toss a salad over eating carpet any day.”

Feeling lethargic. Pondering on the chemistry of people and how we all fit in socially. The constant puns and jokes can be exhausting sometimes.

Time to hit the road home. Leslie takes the first shift – driving on 81-N. I facilitate the listening experience on the stereo.


Stop at Sheetz.

Peanut Butter Iced Donut with Marshmallow filling. Apple. Water.

Me: “It was so extreme I had to get it [the donut].”


It’s my turn at the wheel – James in the passenger seat. Pumping out old school pop punk tunes we can all remember from younger times – a musical reminisce without any shame.

Milk Chocolate Bar with Hazelnuts.

Finally arriving in Virginia Beach. Our adventures have concluded. Dropping off Leslie at her home.

“We’re really glad you came with us!”  

I feel a sentimental connection to Leslie that’s had ample time to grow and seems to be growing still. On this trip I was able to gauge certain things about her behavior. It’s friendship in a pure form, one that could potentially become even stronger if allowed enough attention. So well.

Sleep 4 a.m.

[i] Coffee Nightscape. Source unknown.

Tuesday February 19 2013


At 10 a.m. I’m awoken by James reading cheesy jokes aloud as he scrolls through his phone. The cats roam about in our room vying for attention.

Wide-eyed and bushy tailed in downtown Blacksburg. James, Leslie, Becca, and I walk over to Gillie’s for a fine breakfast consisting of a short stack of Silver Dollar Pancakes, Scrambled Eggs, Cinnamon Broiled Grapefruit, and Cranberry Juice. The waiter hands us the check. The first item befuddles all of us as it literally says, “$ BUTT”.

But we soon figure out its short for silver dollar buttermilk pancakes. This becomes an ongoing joke throughout the day.


Back at Becca’s apartment prepping for the hiking trip in store – packing snacks.

Commenting on Becca’s behavior Leslie says, “She’s always ten thoughts ahead of us. Its like stealth ADD.”

On the drive to a hiking trail Becca knows about.

“Give us some mountain music!”

Johnny Cash serenading us on the stereo.

Leslie mentions something about having lived next to water her whole life and how important that is for her. Ocean represents vitality.

It’s about a mile hike to Cascades Falls. We follow a babbling brook through a lush serene path full of a variety of rocks, big and small. It’s refreshing to the soul, this environment and natural clean atmosphere. After being distracting by several picturesque spots we finally arrive at Cascades Falls. Snowflakes begin falling like tiny feathers on our noses.

Lentil Sandwich with Tomato. Sweet & Spicy Pecans. Pretzels. Water.  

We take the high trail back down to the parking lot, a much easier narrower path. James and I march in the lead singing mountain-themed songs and old songs like “Big Rock Candy Mountain” and “Father Abraham”.


James has been officially dubbed The Snack Monster.

We scoop up Becca’s friend Tim and head to the salon in Christiansburg where she works. She gives me a haircut while everyone else waits. James wakes up from a nap and is excited about a dream he just had involving an oversized ice cream cone he filled up with ice cream but it dropped and he never got to taste it.

After that we head to Radford to meet up with Devon at River City Grille.

Alfredo Linguine with Broccoli, Tomatoes, and Dinner Rolls.

The cold brisk air outside is barely unbearable, especially to Leslie. She’s stated how sensitive she is to cold weather.

A few games of pool at a bar across the street. A stranger challenges me in a game and teaches me a few tricks and tips on handling a pool stick.

An Oatmeal Cookie at a shop called Crumb & Get It.

Back in our cozy little crooked room settling down. Putting on Me and You and Everyone We Know (2005) to lull us to sleep.

[i] All photos by me or Becca.

[ii] Mr. Money Butts. Drawing by James.

Monday February 18 2013


☼ ○ ▬

Anthony and I are making a movie that’s based on a novel. I just finished reading the novel. I go to sleep and have a dream centered on the story. All the locations and interactions were so vivid. A busy little convenient store equipped with a deli and stocked with all kinds of marked down products. An Indian man named Dannie owns it and lives on the property as well. With Darren, Anthony, and Kelley inside the shop snooping around. Anthony tries to bargain with Dannie about buying a bundle of apples for only $13. I wake up and describe the dream to Anthony as we’re riding in the back of a 15-passenger van. We come across a huge crowd chanting somebody’s name in front of a church. It’s becoming harder and harder to hear my own voice from all the noise and I’m frustrated that Anthony can’t hear me.

▬ ○ ☼

Waking up around 1 p.m.

Strawberry Toaster Pastries. Orange Juice.

James and I hit the road. We meet up at Leslie’s house. She just got done with her babysitting job and didn’t pack yet. Waiting inside her house while she gathers her things.  

Leslie: “The more people that are around me the more frantic I am.”

Now we’re off. All packed into James’ car. James at the wheel, I in the passenger seat, and Leslie cooped up in the backseat. I deejay the trip with iPod in hand. 


Leslie: “Do you feel bad for slugs?”

Me: “No.”

James: “Never.”

Me: “I don’t ever think about slugs. I think they enjoy their life. They live in the moment.”

James: “Why would you feel bad for slugs?”

Leslie continues in her matter of fact voice, “Cause they pretty much don’t fit in anywhere. And they’re tragically, tragically allergic to salt and everybody knows about it. They are pretty much the world’s outcast. They do not belong on land. If they did then they should do one of two things like all of their other relatives on land: they should either have a shell or they should turn into something prettier than die within two weeks of turning into that prettier thing. But instead, they’re just wet. And they just splooge around. They look like they belong in the sea.”


Lentil Sandwich with Tomato. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Water.

A few stops here and there.

Banana. Chocolate Bar with Hazelnuts.

As we’re traversing along the rolling hills and farmhouse landscapes of US-58 Leslie spouts out, “I wanna live out here.” A few minutes later we’re greeted to a picturesque sunset. Orange and pink colored embers light up the evening sky. Jolie Holland’s warm voice on the stereo facilitating the reverent and tender mood...

I’m feeling so haunted...

I feel tender in return. Thinking about the memories embedded in these roads from past drives dating back to my youth and un-jaded romantic years.

Sweet & Spicy Pecans.

After a six-hour drive from Virginia Beach we finally arrive in Blacksburg, a rugged college mountain town. I’ve been here before. We meet up with Becca at a pub called The London Underground.

Hanging around at the bar. Leslie and I share a Cheese Pizza with Mushrooms, Banana Peppers, and Tomatoes as toppings. Sipping on a pint of Yuengling. It’s good to see Becca. She introduces us to Kai, a new guy friend of hers.

Afterwards, we all hop into Becca’s car, James, Leslie, and I cramped in the backseat with a pile of blankets. Kai and Becca know a special spot down by the river directly underneath a mountain. We drive up and over and down and under until we locate the scenic spot. James finds a few more rusty bottle caps to add to his collection. It’s gotta be in the mid-30’s outside with gusts of cold wind.

After 2 a.m. we’re taken to a cozy house next door to a white church. Three friendly cats roam about. The three of us settle down in a small room heated by a convection heater and where the floor is not leveled.

Sleep sometime around 3 a.m.

[i] Rolling Hills Sunrise. Image by Leslie.

[ii] All other images by me.

Sunday February 17 2013


Waking up at 11:30 a.m.

Instant Blueberry Oatmeal. Coffee with Brown Sugar and Almond Milk.

All day shift at China Wok.

Egg on an English Muffin with Mayonnaise and Tomato. Salt n Vinegar Chips with Avocado. Honey Oolong Tea.

The day is steady – getting decent tips.

The cold air is brisk and bitter. The wind chill makes it feel dramatically colder than it’s supposed to be. I hop out of the car and dart to the customer’s door, body shaking and teeth chattering, impatiently waiting to make the transaction as quickly as possible. Then, experiencing that overwhelming relief after plopping down in the driver’s seat, inside my mobile oven.

Listening to the comedy station on the radio. A clip of Demetri Martin comes on, “I was in my friend’s garage, and he had a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like, ‘Dude, you have abandonment issues.’”

Off work and back home.

Fried Shrimp with Broccoli, Carrots, Onions, and Rice in Garlic Sauce.

James is gonna spend the night here because tomorrow we’ll be going on a road trip together to Blacksburg. He persuades me to go to Rick’s with him. Our favorite waitresses, Autumn and Katerina, are on the clock.


Katerina comes to take our order. After reciting a joke I heard on the radio she watches James collect some foam on his mustache from the hot chocolate.

Her: “You got something there.”

Me: “I know! It’s on your mustache, dude. Every time you take a sip...”

He just smiles and says, “It’s part of my life. It’s something I have to live with.


Clinton and Tayo walk in. They sit a few booths across from us. After I fly a paper airplane over to their table we commence a comical ongoing passing of notes.

Katerina comes to check on us.

Her: “What’re you guys talking about over here?”

Me: “Oh you know. Movies, love, and romance.”

Back home.

Sleep 4:30 a.m.

[i] Phone glitch. Image by me (produced by my phone).

Saturday February 16 2013


☼ ○ ▬

Walking down the street in an unfamiliar city. I’m all alone. I feel a poke from behind. It’s Raven. I haven’t seen her in ages. She looks different than I remember. We spark up a lighthearted conversation and catch up on things.

▬ ○ ☼

Waking up regretfully at 11:02 a.m.

Strawberry Toaster Pastries. Orange Juice.

All day shift at China Wok.

I’ve been wearing this friendship bracelet Leslie made for me. Somehow it’s retained a unique scent reminiscent of fragrant dryer sheets. But it smells like her. I’m grateful.

Sweet & Spicy Pecans. Five Guy’s French Fries with Ketchup. Honey Oolong Tea.

It rains but the rain gradually transforms into snow. It’s too wet for any of it to really stick. This causes an expected boost in deliveries.

As soon as I step into the restaurant I’m back out the door with a handful of orders. It’s non-stop all day long.

God and these idiots behind the wheel! This stop and go traffic is exasperating. I can only go as fast as the driver in front of me. Just puttin’ along. My nerves are racked. Inefficient driving behavior annoys the hell out of me.

The night just drags on and on. This city’s appetite for Chinese food is insatiable.

Finally off work and back home after over eleven hours of mayhem.

Hot and Sour Soup with Broccoli and Rice.

Watching Switchback (1997).

Fortune cookie says, “Moderate you appetite so that with a little you may be content.”

Just outside my bedroom window I keep hearing the sound of a Taser gun. Kevin recently bought a fairly cheap one and keeps showing it off to his friends.

Chocolate Cake with Almond Milk.

Sleep 3 a.m.

[i] Slime mold. Photographed by Russian researchers.

Friday February 15 2013


Waking up around 11 a.m. to a call from Edible Arrangements. I left them my number yesterday to see if they needed any extra drivers and they need me. There were a ton of back-orders from Valentine’s Day that didn’t get delivered.

Instant Blueberry Oatmeal. Coffee with Sugar and Almond Milk.

Driving around parts of Virginia Beach I haven’t seen a while. This particular Edible Arrangements is located off Princess Anne Road. Some of the people at the shop recognize me from a Mother’s Day I worked two years ago. I’m given a 12-order route. Compared to my job at China Wok this requires a little more focus and attention, mainly because I’m looking for addresses in neighborhoods I’m not familiar with. But I learn fast. The traffic in this part of town is on a bigger scale. Hilltop doesn’t even compare. I used to think I had it bad. 

Snacking on Chips and Goldfish Crackers.

After 5 hours and 2 runs later I’m back home...exhausted.

Space rocks hit Russia today!

Banana. Honey Oolong Tea.


Lentils, Couscous, Asparagus, Mushrooms, Onions, Peppers, and Parmesan Bread.

Watching Scalene (2011).

Playing songs and writing.

Happy and sad Skype chat with Aysena.

An Orange and Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Sleep 3-ish a.m.

[i] Putin Riding Space Rock.

Thursday February 14 2013

Valentine from Cara (1st Grade)[i]

Waking up around 10:30 a.m. Last night I called around to a bunch of flower shops to see if they needed extra drivers for Valentine’s Day. Flowers at Hilltop called me back.

Strawberry Toaster Pastries. Orange Juice.

Making some side cash delivering a two and a half hour run of roses and bouquets all around Virginia Beach.

Egg Sandwich with Mayonnaise and Tomato. Goldfish Crackers. Honey Oolong Tea.

Watching The Good Doctor (2011).

For every invention made how much time did we save?
We're not much farther than we were in the cave.

James meets here at the house offering me a few slices of his made from scratch Pizza. I add a Salad. Before we head to Norfolk for party shenanigans we stop by Leslie’s house briefly. I wanted to give her a small Valentine’s gift of sunflowers and an authentic mini Valentine card from the 90’s. She offers us homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies that her stepmom baked.

She sends me an after text, “Hey thank u so much. Seriously made my year :0)”


At Emily Hill’s place in Ghent. It’s an iPod party but nothing too overwhelming, just a small number of friends and friends of friends hanging out in a studio apartment. Sipping on Punch and Champagne. I’m encouraged to put on a pair of green tights taken out of Emily’s collection.

Afterwards James, Uhlecksee, this kid Michael, and I make an appearance at another party near ODU. It’s been categorized as an anti-Valentine’s Day event but it’s nothing more than a typical rowdy college party – a house littered with half-naked girls wearing electrical tape and duct tape made dresses and outfits, and with dudes costumed as Greek gods, skimpy underwear, and robes. James and I observe the nature of this raucous and outrageous scene. We don’t feel connected because we hardly know anyone here except for a few familiar faces. Everyone’s like sardines in here anyway. There’s nothing much you can do but stand in one spot while people squeeze by you. Party monsters. Eye candy. Pure unadulterated nonsense.

On the drive back to Virginia Beach sharing a few realizations with James...

“Man simply needs to be around beauty, even if he can’t have it. He wants to capture it but just being around it validates his existence.”

I’m exhausted.

Sleep around 4 a.m.

[i] Valentine I received from a girl in 1st grade

Wednesday February 13 2013


Waking up around 1 p.m.

Strawberry Toaster Pastries. Orange Juice.

Biking in the rain. Getting my taxes done at Liberty Tax. Originally I was going to do them myself but with my unique situation at China Wok I’d rather not rip my hair out over it and get it done professionally.

Egg Sandwich with Mayonnaise and Tomato. Goldfish Crackers. Honey Oolong Tea.

Ken comes over with a copy of In Passing, the film he directed about two years ago. I’ve been trying to get my hands on a copy of it.

This whole day I’ve been spread thin – moving from one activity to another.

Vaginasaurs practice at the storage unit. Teaching Laura, our newly acquired guitar player, some of the songs. She’s like this 35 year-old rocker girl and digs what we do.

Black Beans with Onions, Carrots, Peppers, and Pear Couscous.

Watching The Raven (2012).

i decided that would be better if i wait the sign that you are really in my life and the summer we had wasn't just a dream. i dream of you all time so i could just imagine you and make a mistake that you exist. hope you weren't a ghost and i'm not living with false memories.

Everything that happened with us last summer is not false memories. They are real memories. That is not undetermined. The real question is the future. You know it. Things between us have an uncertain vision. Sometimes I think of you as only a fantasy or just imagination because you are not here.

Inspiration to clean the kitchen...almost thoroughly.

Tweaking. Thinking.

Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups.

Sleep at some point.