Thursday June 7 2012

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☼ ○ ▬

I’m in a boat race, kind of half swimming rather than driving the boat. We cut a corner that we passed going the other direction. I remember it because of its haunting cemetery-like nature – overgrown marble structures, rusty gates, and decorative gazebos. I have to lock down where this is so I can return here another time. I turn on the GPS button to my phone so I can save the location on my map. It’s not so much a race as it is a traveling group. 

▬ ○ ☼


Waking up just before noon.


My mom walks into the living room...

Me: “So what are we doing today?”

Mom: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Why don’t you have an itinerary planned out for me?”

Mom: “This isn’t a tour. It’s whatever you desire.”

Me: “I don’t know what to desire here in Florida.”

Mom: “Relaxation, peace, and quiet.”


We crack open a coconut we got from the market yesterday. She shows me how to hammer a screwdriver into the three holes and drain out the fresh coconut milk. Mmm...so delicious.




Peanut Butter Bagel. Mango. Coconut Milk.


Mom and I set out on the road with no real plan in mind. The sun hides behind the grey overcast but it’s still humid and hot.

...

We stop in to explore the quaint side of downtown Bartow – local independent shops and cafés. A place called Antiques on Main takes up most of our time. I’m all too consumed and fascinated with the various items of old. Flipping through old yearbooks from the 1960’s. A Duke University yearbook called Chanticleer from the 1940’s. I settle on buying a few quarterly issues of Ideals published in the 60’s and a book of new agey graphic illustrations called Dreamquests.
...
Before we leave, a man and a lady walk in with what I assume is their daughter or maybe granddaughter. For some reason she strikes my attention – her overall appearance is just plain attractive. That blue dress fits so perfectly. And her innocent face, curious eyes, and pure smile keep me stealthily at attention. I’m the persistent victim of confounding beauty in whatever form it takes, be it a pretty flower, a mother’s love, or this girl in a blue dress.









While walking along the sidewalk I spot a multitude of lizards dart across the cinder block barriers by the benches.

Me: “Mom! Look at the lizards.”

Mom: “If you sit down they’ll crawl all over you.”

...

Back on the road we pass this abandoned brick facility that looks like it used to be a warehouse for something. I make my mom stop the car so we can explore the broken down surroundings.






Enjoying a makeshift lunch

Cajun Boiled Peanuts. Peaches. Watermelon. Mini Bananas. 

...

We settle down at her friend Teresa’s mobile home. Teresa pastors the church my mom attends and she acts as Teresa’s assistant as well as best friend.

...

My mom heats it up in the kitchen and cooks up an amazing dinner...

Baked Tilapia Fillets. Kale, Peppers, and Onions. Fried Green Tomatoes. Southern Sweet Tea.


Then, onto church for the Thursday night service. I was here about a year and a half ago during Christmas. And just like last time I’m called up to provide piano backing to the praise and worship songs. I haven’t played songs like this in a long time but it’s easy to follow and go with the flow. Afterwards, I sit down next to my mom. Pastor Morales steps up to the pulpit and preaches a fiery sermon. In her voice is conviction and charisma. The hollering and yelling bursts through the speakers ricocheting off the walls and piercing into our ears like a knife...   

...

“YOU MAY FEEL LIKE THE BEAR IS AFTER YOU RIGHT NOW. YOU MAY FEEL LIKE YOU’RE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING THAT AIN’T SO HAPPY, LIKE TONS OF BRICKS HAVE FALLEN ON YOU, BUT YOU’RE IN PREPARATION SEASON. YOU’RE IN THE FIRST ANOINTING AND GOD IS ABOUT TO PROMOTE YOU!”

...

“OOOOH! I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT THERE’S A LOT OF PEOPLE CALLING THEMSELVES CHRISTIANS AND THEY AIN’T ACTING RIGHT! IT’S JUST A NAME NOW. THE DEVIL HIMSELF IS A CHRISTIAN NOWADAYS!”

...

“YOU’RE NOT IN THE WILDERNESS. GOD IS ABOUT TO TAKE YOU OUT. GOD IS ABOUT TO GIVE YOU A SPIRITUAL PROMOTION!”

...

“THE BIBLE SAYS THAT THERE IS POWER IN YOUR TONGUE FOR LIFE OR DEATH!”

...

“YOU HAVE TO BE BROKEN. YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO LET GO!”

...

“DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD AND HE WILL GIVE YOU? SAY IT!”

The congregation answers in unison, “The desires of your heart.”

“THE DESIRES, NOT OF THE FLESH, OF THE SPIRIT.”

...

“I WAS IN THE WILDERNESS TOO LONG! I AM COMING OUT AND I AIN’T GOING BACK! TODAY WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS! YOU WILL WALK IN THE ANOINTING THAT GOD HAS CALLED YOU!”

...

“MY ANOINTING AIN’T ANYONE ELSE’S ANOINTING. I GOTTA WALK IN MY OWN. I GOTTA LOOK FOR MINE. THE BIBLE SAYS THAT SALVATION IS INDIVIDUAL.”

...

I’m called up again to direct the mood for the conclusion of the service. I vamp on a contemporary pop progression that comes to mind (Am-C-F-G-Am) while the singers improv into the microphones. People lifting their hands up to the ceiling – shouting – praying – declaring spiritual revelations. While tinkering on the keyboard I observe my mother with her hands outstretched over someone’s back. She’s lost in God – speaking in tongues.

...

The service is over and I wait out in the car. My mom hops in. She rolls down the window for Paulina, this little charismatic Tanzanian women. She looks over in my direction and thanks me for playing. She’s completely exuberant in her way of talking, her thick Tanzanian accent adding flavor to her words...

Paulina: “You gotta get the right people to flow from the well that’s flowing out of you.”

...

On the drive back to the house.

Mom: “How did you feel up there?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Mom: “How did you feel? You brought everyone into worship...”

Me: “I was doing my job I guess.”


Back home.

Eating a bowl of Oh’s with Milk.

Helping my mom construct a document on Microsoft Word.


We share a few warm goodnight hugs. Tomorrow we have to get up super early for me to catch my flight.

She frowns in a cute way and asks, “Why can’t you just stay?”

Me: “I have a life up there.”

Mom: “But you can have a life here.”


Sleep 2:30 a.m.


[i] All images by me.

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