[i]
☼ ○ ▬
Down at the bottom of the hill, Skippy, Darren, Kevin, and
Richie are shooting guns aiming at glass bottles. Some old man who lives in a
farmhouse helps guide them. They’re far in the distance though so they can’t
really see me. I notice a giant sea green splotch encrusted on the ground
bedside me. Interestingly it matches the color of my t-shirt that I’m wearing
now (and that I chose to wear to bed the night before). I run down towards the
boys. They’ve decided to move out of Chanticleer and into this old farmhouse
instead. It’s supposedly more economically and cheaper. I argue that this place
is miles out of the city and wouldn’t be conducive for traveling back and
forth.
▬ ○ ☼
Waking up just before 1 p.m.
Hot Cinnamon Oat Bran with Brown Sugar, Blueberries, and
Almond Milk.
Kristin: “Are you having a Robert recuperation day?”
Me: “that’s a good way to put it.”
It really is one of those days...
Catching up on writing.
Grilled Cheese with Tomato. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Honey
Oolong Tea.
Watching Sneakers (1992).
Chores.
Riding my bike up to Elliott’s on 16th street.
He’s having You’re Jovian rehearsal. Stephanie shows up and we play our parts
on two songs.
Afterwards, I stuff my bike into the trunk of Stephanie’s
old yellow Mercedes and we drive back to my house. On the way we catch up on
the past few months, the changes in each other’s lives.
...
Stef: “Robert, what do you do when you’re feeling bad about
life?”
Me: “I don’t know. You create a safe world, like a mental
escape. That’s what I do.”
At home. Wheeler meets us there. Making dinner for the three
of us...
Baked Breaded Cod Fillets with Ketchup. Steamed Broccoli and
Red Peppers with Rice. Carrots with Ranch.
[ii]
Wheeler jets off. Then Stef and I go to the storage space to
brush through Vaginasaurs songs. Sipping on Mickey’s. A fun new idea pops up
called “Goth Girl”. There’s an excitement shared.
...
She drops me off.
In the kitchen while snacking on a Peanut Butter Bagel I get
into a small debate with Darren that sparks some revelatory thoughts concerning
things with Kristin.
...
I give her a call. At first it’s a normal “how are you” chat
but gradually turns into something heavy and critical.
...
Her: “I hate feeling like the underdog.”
...
Me: “You want definition. Why do you need so much
definition?”
...
Her: “I’m just in a weird time in my life...a weak time. I’m
sorry you had to catch me when I’m fucking lonely and depressed.”
...
Her: “I’m just so heavy.”
I just want more calm people in my life. But I don’t want
to sacrifice deepness for calmness.
[i] You’re
Jovian. Images by me.
[ii] Image by
Stephanie.
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