Wednesday April 20 2022

Waking up around 11:45 a.m.


Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Flax Seed, and Almond Milk. English Breakfast Tea.


Catching up on business.




Eggs. Spinach. Sweet Potato. Bagel. Coffee.

Watching Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes (2019).


Teaching lessons at Music Makers.


Stopping by Trader Joe’s to retrieve some snacks. Ana is surprised cause I hardly ever come here anymore.


Eating freshovers at home: Vegan Sausage with Quinoa, Green Beans, and Corn on the Cob.


Chocolate Chip Cookies.


Packing up my suitcases in preparation for a tour weekend.


It’s almost 12:30 a.m. Before I head out Ana and I have a serious talk. She really wants affirmation that we’re still committed. I have a hard time saying either or cause of all the doubts I have. She sits on the rolling chair looking very sad – Elvis pops up on her lap vying for affection. I love him and I do love her. But it’s really hard to hang on. I’m scared of losing a future with her, I am. I play out all the scenarios in my head – scenarios where we stay together and set up a homestead – then another scenario where I’m on my own. I can’t clamp down the best path for me.


As I load up the van she starts to get very frantic threatening to run over to Rebecca’s house to do I don’t know what. I get her to calm down in the middle of the parking lot – we hug and she walks off into the house.


Picking up Rebecca in the new soccer mom rental van. We run a few late night errands – printing itineraries – depositing money to the bank. Then, scooping up Casey and Nancy from the warehouse.


Comfortable in the back on the futon while Casey takes the first driving shift.


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