Friday September 30 2011

DREAM: With Anthony, Rachel, and a few others. We spent the night in what’s understood to be Raven’s bedroom but it resembles my bedroom in 1435 except it’s triple the size. Even the staircase is the same in the hallway. It’s the morning after and we’re waking up. Raven will be coming home soon and we’re supposed to leave before she arrives so that her and I do not have to run into each other. I’m gathering my belongings by the bunk bed when an adolescent looking guy and a few of his buddies confront me. The guy is understood to be Raven’s brother. He pulls out a knife and demands money. I refuse. He swipes at me as I attempt to dodge the knife—my hand grips the knife in his hand and in the process I receive minor slits in my fingers. Anthony and Rachel are behind me watching this dramatic scene without any involvement. The struggle continues…but I knee the brother in the groin, then shove the knife into his stomach and he collapses. I can’t believe what just happened. I’m in shock. Meanwhile, Raven and her gang of girlfriends arrive. She’s close by but doesn’t acknowledge my existence—a face of avoidance, but I know she knows I’m here. She’s engaging in laughter with her friends.

I overhear her announce, “I need to go play basketball.”

And she meant by herself. Is this a hint? At some point while we’re walking in the hallway we share a few words…



“Nice outfit.”


“You wouldn’t believe what just happened…your brother tried to kill me!”


“Yeah I don’t understand it…”

I didn’t get the chance to explain that I was responsible for killing him as well. Not sure how she’s going to react when she finds out…

Alarm goes off at 11:06 a.m. Then a second time at 11:11 a.m. Wake up. She’s still lying next to me sound asleep all cozy and warm.

All day shift at China Wok.

Breakfast: Super Sonic Breakfast Burrito. Orange Juice.

Snapping the peas…

An old man that eats here regularly asks me, “That’s a tedious job isn’t it?”

“Oh yeah.”

Stuffing my belly with Muscadine Grapes while delivering. I just can’t stop—they’ve become an overwhelming addiction in my life.

Lunch: Peanut Butter Bagel. Blue and Yukon Gold Potato Chips. Honey Green Tea.

Arcade Fire on the stereo…

Every spark of friendship and love will die without a home

Hear the soldier groan I’ll go at it alone

“What the fuck!!!”

I’m screaming in the car like a defeated idiot. I wouldn’t even be that upset if I had gotten a few more-than-mediocre tips before hand. But I’m getting stiffed right and left. And the people that do decide to tip me can only manage to give up a buck or two. And then the other driver is here taking orders diminishing the amount of orders I can take and the potential to get good tips. Not a profitable day. Disappointed. Down. Doomed.


This day doesn’t really get any better. At the end of the night I’m left with 30% less than I usually make…but the cool wind and rain is the only refreshing thing about the end of the night. Also, coming home to a slumber party sleepover puts a smile on my face…

Dinner: Tofu and Mixed Vegetables with Rice in Garlic Sauce. Name Tag Lager.

The slumber party has taken new heights with a double feature showing The Sandlot and Harriet the Spy. I’m in and out of the sleepover mayhem mostly secluded in my room playing music and reading.

Watching Snatch [2003].

“Dicks have drive and clarity of vision…but they’re not clever.”

Eating a bowl of Cherrios with Brown Sugar.

Sleep shortly after 4 a.m.

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