DREAM: At work (China Wok) standing behind the counter looking up a customer’s address on the computer...Cecily, my boss, is standing directly behind me. She reaches her arms around my chest and affectionately embraces me—the feeling of family. Not sure how to respond except with a smile on my face and an “Aw.”
Banana. Granola Bar. Orange Juice.
All day shift at China Wok.
This afternoon—non-stop deliveries. I’m feeling exhausted—my ghost is exhausted from last night’s talks.
The situation that characters in my life face::::::::
being presented by someone else. lack of control. why do people care so much?
the same reason people care what happens to harry potter or jack in titanic or simba in lion king. you’re now a part of an ongoing reality show set in vabeach. but im the director. you can trust me.
so many people have so much to say before i can even understand the friendship myself.
Peanut Butter Bagel. Blue and Yukon Gold Potato Chips. Honey Green Tea.
Margot stops by to visit me at work. I’m sitting in my car, parked. She hops in and we chat for a while. Light conversation to start...
Me: “So what are you doing out here?”
She went tanning...
Me: “I thought we decided you weren’t doing that anymore.”
Her: “WE didn’t decide anything. I do what I want.”
Me: “No. We decided it wasn’t healthy...”
...
She’s jealous about the amount of time I spend with others, or more specifically, vaginas.
Me: “If something was going on I would tell you. I promise...Do you believe me?”
Her: “Yes.”
...
Her: “But I’m supposed to be your girl.”
Me: “No. You’re not my girl. And I’m not your man...You’re about to make me say something...”
I just reiterate the breaking up between us and how we don’t belong to each other. A few sparkly tears drip onto her chest—the sun making everything glisten—both our sunglasses on, covering our expressions. I caress her sweet head and say endearingly, “You’re still special to me...”
Aloe Vera Drink.
Do I remind people of Dr. Drew?
Darren comes in to help with the dinner rush...
Darren: “I hate everything.”
Hot and Sour Soup.
Delivering an order on 28th street. It’s a condominium. All the way down at the end of the hall...the low level recessed can light in the ceiling gives off the proper ambiance in front of the door that shows the customer’s door number [111].
Ice Cream Cone.
A customer’s total is $11.11.
Experiencing a light achy feeling and a mild sore throat.
Alfredo Pasta with Edamame. Kombucha Tea.
Finishing Peaceful Warrior [2006].
“Life has just three rules...Paradox, Humor, and Change.
Paradox: Life is a mystery. Don’t waste time trying to figure it out.
Humor: Keep a sense of humor, especially about yourself. It is a strength beyond all measure.
Change: Know that nothing stays the same.
...
The Journey. The journey is what brings us happiness not the destination.”
Researching—planning—counting.
To Panda:::::“with i as empathy king and you as affirmation queen and nicole as our darling little death princess, we just might change the world.”
Sleep 3:30 a.m.
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