Tuesday October 11 2011

DREAM: With a few friends running frantically through the streets of Richmond in the middle of the night. Passing by a few house parties. Passing by Josh and Jessa. I pause briefly to say hello then continue exploring. My destination is uncertain. But in my mind I know there is a definite place I’m aiming for. I sense that Adam (Raven’s lover) is either following me or he just happens to be headed where I’m going. There it is! I step inside this house—there’s a few people congregating inside. Adam’s here and he steps into the room I’m in. I immediately leave the house and jump over the wood fencing into the neighbor’s yard, my friends behind me. It’s very dark—pitch black. I carefully place my feet in front me knowing there’s a lake up ahead………some time passes and I’m climbing around on this red metal swing set in a different backyard. It’s late evening so there’s a little bit of daylight still lingering. Raven finds me here and we jump atop the play structure and just talk, like normal as if no layers of the friendship have been disturbed. I’m so in tune, so engaged. It’s an intense emotional moment of reconnection that almost feels like it’s really happening.

Waking up around 2 p.m.

Sleeping in is giving in no matter what the time is.

Applesauce. Orange Juice. Zinc. Alfalfa Grain.

Attempting to do Google work but Firefox is relentless. He’s losing my respect.

Grilled Cheese with Tomato and Basil. Blue and Yukon Gold Potato Chips. Honey Green Tea.

Watching Mulholland Falls [1996].


Playing songs on the guitar at the storage unit.

Poker Night at 1435…

“Just another Tuesday at the YMCA!”

9 players (the most we’ve had in a long time::::Art, Roma, both James’s, Darren, Kevin, Nicole, and some guy named David (friend of one of the James’s)…

Cooking for Anthony and I…Hamburger Helper without hamburger but Chic Peas instead along with Mixed Vegetables and a Carrot.

Sharing beers and nonsense talk and trash talk and laughter. Art eventually wins and some of the boys head to the bar…

And just like last Tuesday Nicole and I are left out on the back porch analyzing and dispensing information—philosophizing on the integrity and expectations in relationships.

Is there such thing as a “love of your life”, or rather “loves of your life”?

Darren: “Don’t ask me about my life! My life is a visceral representation of Leonardo’s greatest works!”

Eating Licorice and a bowl of Cherrios with Brown Sugar.

Watching Mulholland Falls [1996].

Trying not to die is so taxing

You take a breath just to let it out again

Waking up is an exercise in trust

But you’re gonna find something to hold close

In the moonless night I wait for your ghost

Trying to live on is so taxing

Just stacking up all those failures and accidents

We’ve thrown away on a mountain of mistakes

I've watched in the dark and counted them all

In the moonless night I wait for your call

Sleep 5 a.m.

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