Saturday October 29 2011

DREAM: I’m stuck in this mini-restroom built in the middle of a courtyard or amusement park of some kind—lines and lines of people stuffed against the outside of the caged wall surrounding the bathroom. James Graves and a few others are here with me. Worried about how we’re going to get out.

Waking up at 11:15 a.m.

Applesauce. Apple Fritter. Coffee with Hazelnut Cream.

All day shift at China Wok.

It’s windy and chilly and dreary and moist...I like this. And I like that it increases the people’s appetite for Chinese food—more business.

Watching a school of birds in a frantic state disperse and separate because of the power of the wind.

Thinking back on the traffic tickets I’ve received over the course of my delivery driving career...I use my own discrepancy when not coming to a complete stop or running that red light...and I hate that I can’t reap the benefits of my own judgment but instead have to get punished for not using the judgment already established by the government, or state.


Thinking about how stimulating my social life is, caused by my choice of living arrangements and the people I choose to associate with. I feel if I was living on my own then I would be more inclined to have a girlfriend (or even be with Margot). I think so fondly of her...despite all the melodrama. She’s always offered emotional, physical, and moral support that’s sensationalized and sometimes to my liking. But here I am...pushing for singularity. I’m okay with this. I’m okay with branching out my love...offering my gift of empathy to others. But I still reflect on her beauty. In all of her absurdity there is comedy, light and adorable comedy.

A text conversation we had last night...

Her: “We should’ve had sex today. Bad choice on your part bro.”

Me: “why?”

Her: “Cause you know why. It would’ve been fantastic!”

Me: “you’re right.”

Her: “Yup…it’s a shame”

Stopping by the house for lunch...

Grilled Cheese with Tomato. Tomato Soup. Potato Chip Trio. Honey Green Tea.

Josiah calls while I’m on the road. He’s interested in hearing my opinion about the reading of minds in society, or something like that. We plan to chat about this later.

Delivering to a regular customer on Glenfield. The guy’s daughter, or maybe granddaughter resembles so perfectly that little girl in The Fall [2006] whose name is Alexandria.

Strawberry Yogurt.

I royally despise the interruption of Flow, any kind, especially on the road.

Amanda quotes Carl Jung to me after attending this dream lecture: “No one who does not know himself can know others. And in each of us there is another whom we do not know. He speaks to us in dreams and tells us how differently he sees us from the way we see ourselves.

A profitable work day.

Lemon Chicken with Rice and Mixed Vegetables. Purple Haze Beer.

My fortune: “The hours that make us happy make us wise.”

In the living room half-pacing by the back door—Anthony and Darren on the couch...some Jackass show on TV...Stephanie shows up...we chat upstairs—showing her my t-shirt collection (she borrows two I got from Indonesia)...

She sits down in my computer chair and I take the stool posing the role as counselor and friend. Confidentiality. We all want to give and get. The New Radicals were wrong when they sang “You only get what you give,” cause sometimes what you give you don’t get. I think that’s the reoccurring conflict in most relationships: the imbalance of energy and attention.

Frosted Shredded Wheat.

Watching Special [2006].

Sleep a little after 4 a.m.

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