Thursday March 8 2012


DREAM: Lying in bed with Margot. Her phone rings and I briefly catch the caller ID display “Raven Boo”. What? Why is she calling her? And more importantly why does she even have her phone number in her contacts? Immediately after, my phone rings with the caller ID displaying “Raven Boo” too. I don’t answer. But Margot answers her own phone.

“Uh...who is this?”

I can’t decipher the voice on the other line. It almost seems Margot doesn’t actually know who it is either.

“You live where?”

I hear a word that rhymes with Richmond for a reply.


Switch to a scene on the road by myself. I call Raven back not sure what to expect...

Her: “Hi!”

I hear muffled sounds of other people in the background.

Nervously I respond, “Hellooo.”

She says something about big meat that I don’t understand, giggles, then quickly apologizes, “Sorry I was just joking.”

There’s a silence that doesn’t feel right. I fear if nobody says anything then the phone call will be cut off. So I start describing where I’m at and what I’m doing...

Me: “I’m somewhere just outside of Brooklyn right now. We’re driving on a bridge and...this beautiful body of’s deep blue...” [The car swoops up and over a peak while I continue the narration.] “There’s pretty shimmering lights and...uh...” [I feel the G’s in my stomach as the car drops back onto the road.] “...and there’s a really cool statue of King Neptune.”


Me: “ are you?”

The conversation trickles into nothingness.

Waking up around noon. I check under the sheets of my sleeping companion...

Margot: “Yup. I’m still naked.”

She’s got a sexy smirk on her face and pursues my lovin’.

Referring to my cock she begs, “I want to play with him.”

Me: “He’s tired.”

Her: “No. You are.”

Me: “So is he. You can’t treat him like a separate entity.”

Her: “Yes I can. Mm. Don’t worry. I’ll do all the work.”

And so she persists in plopping on top of me. In these moments of ecstasy I try to freeze time and inhale as much imminent pleasure as I can. Even though I’ve experienced these beautiful moments time and time again. There’s no knowing when they will stop. I dread the day I have to leave her again. Her cloud of negativity was quite a torture last night, enough to push me closer and closer to the idea of termination. She sure knows how to keep me buttered up and hooked.

Peanut Butter Bagel. Strawberries and Bananas.

Margot goes to work out then takes me to retrieve my car. Had to get an oil change and a new battery.

Grilled Cheese with Tomato and Hummus. Blue Tortilla Chips with Avocado Salsa Verde. Honey Green Tea.

Tennis with Art. The wind is strong mostly at a disadvantage for both of us. He takes the win after a 2-0 set.

Scallops with Mixed Vegetables in Cheese Sauce with Pita Bread.

Margot and I go to Columbus Theaters to see Chronicle (2012). Things are naturally cheery and happy. Enjoying each other’s company. Sometimes I forget there are positive aspects to this relationship. 

Picking up ice cream afterwards then hanging out on the couch with her roommate, Emily. They’ve got The Kardashians on TV. These two seem to be actually into the show. I chow down on my Cookies n Cream and pretend to be mildly interested. But I still love her.

I retreat back home to do chores and catch up on some writing. She comes over later for a sleepover. I stay up for a little while and join her eventually around 4 a.m.

[i] Gez Fry.

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