Friday March 9 2012


Sometime after noon we wake up.

Making Hot Oat Bran with Brown Sugar, Blueberries, and Coconut Milk for Margot and I.

Entertaining ourselves with the cat.

Grilled Cheese with Tomato and Hummus. Blue Tortilla Chips with Avocado Salsa Verde. Honey Green Tea.

At the clubhouse riding the sit-down bike while watching Mississippi Burning (1988).

Chocolate Chip Cookies with Milk. Banana.

Then to China Wok for the night shift. The other driver asked me to close for him too so I’m stuck there pretty late.


Elliott drops by providing some company on the last leg of my shift.

Shrimp Egg Roll. Spring Rolls.

Finally back home enjoying the rest of my dinner...Hot and Sour Soup.

Ling calls me just before midnight, “Robert, we stuck here. Do you have time?”

Apparently, Cecily isn’t answering their calls so him and the other cook need a ride home. I comply and help out. After dropping them off, Ling hands me a five-dollar bill. I try to decline but he insists. I’ve been working at China Wok for over two years now. I realize how much of a mystery my bosses have always been to me and the other drivers that have worked there. Because of the language barrier there’s a low level of information known about each other. And sometimes they use that to their well as I.

My fortune cookie: “No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.”

[Text message]

Margot: “Let’s do it when I get off!!!!”

Me: “you close?”

Margot: “Yeah.”


Margot: “I’ll take that as a no then...”

Me: “no. take that as a ‘yes I want you to come over and smother me with your sexy sweetness’.

It's 3:30 in the morning when she arrives and I'm already in bed with nothing but the blue string lights glowing. She strips off her clothes excluding her panties and hops under the sheets. We chat about our day and even though I'm tired she persists in turning me on.

“I want to have sex!”

I'm not feeling it really. My whole being is just begging for rest. But she's a persistent little cutie and it's hard to deny her beauty. I stay turned away in a playful shy manner.

“Why you no look at me?”

She grabs my hand and places it strategically on her boob.

“Here. You like these.”

I really am living in a fantasy in the bedroom. Sex is understood at this point. Afterwards she drifts off to sleep...always in less than five minutes. But I always take exceptionally longer. My brain has to sort out thousands of thoughts before I can even consider slumber.


Certain moments in history still haunt me even after months or years have gone by since the events occurred. It is in these ungodly late night hours that I travel back in time...and try to rewrite the script of those dark moments. If only I had known...if only I had more intuition, I would've stood up to the invasive monsters with a vengeance. I would've directed a revenge thriller as opposed to an unsuspenseful drama. I have moved on, yes. But forgetting is a false concept.


Sweet dreams.

[i] Scott Greenwalt.

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