Friday March 2 2012


DREAM: I live in this mansion of a house that seems to be a combination of 1623 and 1435. All our friends are there hanging out in the café area. Tables and chairs are set up like it’s a coffee shop or a bar. I spot Adam, Raven’s boyfriend. What’s he doing in my house? I thought it strange for him to be here. At that point it’s understood that him and Raven broke up and he’s making an appearance because he has nothing else to do. I feel awkward but decide to approach him...

“Hey what’s up Adam?”

He smiles deviously as if his whole purpose for being here is to make fun of me. One of his buddies that’s with him comes up to me and picks a fight. I have no problem standing my ground. James Graves is nearby. I give him a command to tie this guy up as if he’s my sidekick or helper. He ties him up against a banister. I look over at the sliding glass doors and see the back of a familiar body on roller skates speed outside. Is that Raven? It is. I follow. There’s a crowd. She turns around and as soon as our eyes meet I place my fingers nervously in my mouth and turn the other way. She runs up and quickly says to me, “I’m better off without you and you’re better off without me,” or something along those lines.

Waking up around 1:30 p.m.

In regards to some of the woes I’m facing with Margot getting upset and unsatisfied, Stephanie comments, “Negativity isn’t going to get her anywhere but unhappy.”


Me: “Stef, are you wearing a diaper?”

Stef: “I’m so baby punk right now!”

Hard Boiled Egg and Strawberry Yogurt.

Heading into downtown Brooklyn. Discovering some awesome looking street art...

Getting eats at a falafel joint.

Pita and Hummus. Stuffed Grape Leaves. Honest Ade Mangosteen.


Around the corner is Urban Jungle, a top of the line vintage thrift shop. Finding a colorful black fuzzy turtleneck sweater. Also talking with Margot over the phone—an intense conversation. Towards the end of the call she sounds very sad about everything and starts crying...

Sarah and I meet a balloon lady at the cash register who carries around her ferret in her purse.

[Text message]

Margot: “Send me sweet texts. I’m sad about us and I miss you.”

Me: “I miss your baby talk and sparkling eyes and your sweet kisses.”

Picking up Coffee at a Mexican run convenient shop before hitting the road again towards Montclair, New Jersey.

Snacking on a Cinnamon Bun.


An hour and a half later we arrive at The Meat Locker, a stale smelling trashy rock basement. The front door is plain black with no sign or indication assuring us of what’s behind it. We have a few hours until the show starts so I retreat to the car by myself for some me time. My laptop is malfunctioning leaving me with the old fashion pen and paper to document my thoughts and activities (at least for now). Sitting in the driver’s seat while the rain dribbles and taps on the roof. Alone feels good.


I get out and take a stroll down the street finding a Thai restaurant for dinner. Spicy Shrimp Lemongrass Soup and Jasmine Rice is just what I needed. While taking a shit in the bathroom I fulfill the urge to release all the built up sexual aggression. Venting the pipe in public places isn’t the most appropriate thing to do but being on tour where privacy is pretty much null and void you kind of have no choice.


Later, in The Meat Locker...It’s a rowdy bunch for The Vaginasaurs performance. There’s an extremely drunk and happy metal head up front whose name is Connor. It’s his birthday and he’s an absolute riot. Grandfather and Dutchguts play as well.

It’s a whole other world in here, a rock n roll thunderdome, a DIY super space run by veteran scenesters and youngies alike. You got the video techie guy, the screen print guy, a studio, etc. There’s so much cheer amongst everyone it’s hard to depart. But eventually we hit the road around 2:30 a.m.

Apple. Peanut Butter Sandwich.

Getting to Philly two hours later and sleeping at Matt Reed’s place again.

[i] All images by me.

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