Friday July 6 2012


Waking up just before 1 p.m.

White Apricots. Orange Juice.

In the middle of a text conversation with Kristin. She wants to hang out this evening but I’m booked.

Me: “Well you’re going dancing aren’t you?”

Her: “I don’t want to, I want to do something meaningful.”

Me: “I like that drive.”

Her: “I’m just over empty nights of dancing. The same faces no stimulating conversations.”

Me: “That sounds like the start to a great song.”

Her: “I’m just over this scene I’m better than what these nights have to offer. I’m bored.”

Me: “you need an adventure.”

Her: “That and I need to get out of doing the same thing. I’m wasting away. I feel like I’m in a rut. But I have fun when we hang out. I feel alive.”

Me: “I know. we cling together well. its fun.”


Her: “You’re there for lots of people they all need your attention I can’t compete.”

Me: “I knowwwww. its exhausting. but I chose this life I suppose.”

Her: “Am I just one other person that you are taking care of?”


Her: “I don’t want to know that answer.”

Scrambled Eggs. Tortilla Chips with Fresh Guacamole. Honey Green Tea.

Watching The Punisher (2004).

At the storage unit brushing up on Vaginasaurs songs with Stephanie.

I get called into work for a few hours at China Wok.

Strawberries and Chocolate.

Back home. I bike over to Rick’s Café to eat dinner with Emily Hill. She vents more to me about her situation with Wesley and getting acclimated to the non-dating aspect of it. She’s not understanding well the identity of their relationship. Sometimes we reminisce on the olden times at 1623 and times when I visited Maryland.

Fried Catfish Strips with Fried Okra, Sweet Potato Fries, and Texas Toast. I believe the word fry was used too many times in that dinner selection.

It’s been about an hour. We conclude everything and pay for our food at the register.


I bike back home. 

I receive a call from Margot.

Her: “Come hang out with me!”

Me: “No. I want to be alone tonight.”

Her: “No you don’t. Come over.”

Me: “You’re such a baby.”

Her: “No. I’m a princess.”


Her: “Why don’t you wanna hang out with me anymore?”

Me: “I already told you. I don’t want to get attached. I see what’s happening. You’re trying to integrate yourself into my life.”

Her: “Well what’s wrong with that?”

Me: “Because we’re supposed to be separated.”

She replies with the same statement she started out with, “Come hang out with me.”

Me: “You’re ridiculous. No. I’m staying here.”

Her: “You’re nothing but a big ole fat disappointment.”

This whole day has been looted with reach-outs from other people. Between Kristin, other friends, miscellaneous calls that aren’t worth mentioning, and Margot, I feel like my job is to be everyone’s companion/friend. I’m not up for it. I appreciate the need but I can’t fulfill the job description. I need a demotion.

Feeling an insatiable thirst that I can’t seem to quench. Chugging Orange Juice.


Sleep 4 a.m.

[i] Hanna Liden.

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