Sunday December 4 2011


DREAM: Walking around with a few friends at Kings Dominion. We enter a section of the park that’s closed down temporarily.

I’m irritated, “This is the best part of Kings Dominion! I can’t believe they did that.”

The lights are dim and the rides are shut down. We make it to the livelier side of the park and discover that some of the rides are malfunctioning. One of them is a pink motorcycle that loops in a circle upside down. It gets out of control and loosens its attachment to the wire leaving the rider no choice but to eject himself from the seat...and then he dies.

Waking up around 11:30 a.m. Underneath my pile of blankets it’s wonderfully warm but as soon as I unearth myself I feel the sting of cold’s breath.

Apple Fritter Bread. Orange Juice.

All day shift at China Wok.

It’s the sneaky beginning of something...maybe nothing...maybe something just passing. But as I drive around, certain songs strike certain chords that are saturated with naive youthful melodies. Wild Nothing. Mas Y Mas. The XX. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> You know you’re starting to crush on someone when their ghost dances to the rhythms and beat in your head. Music enhances the sweetness and forces all perception to be nostalgic. I’ve created a mental landscape for this person. There’s brightness. There’s hope. Associating all good things with you.

After this realization I announce to myself in the car, “Fuck! She’s in my head now!”

I’m taking it easy though. We’re friends and creative business partners first and foremost. And maybe that’s what turns me on to it so distinctly—the functionality to the relationship other than potential lovers or romancers.

If you ever wanted to feel my heart I’d be willing to show you.

Grilled Cheese with Tomato. Potato Chip Trio. Avocado. Honey Green Tea.

Somebody texts me about being bored. I respond with, “life is fun...boredom should be nonexistent in this day and age.”

And I have a realization. I just can’t understand anyone who sits at home with nothing to do. Am I just too ambitious? Am I just too involved in be bored? I know I need something more from a mate than this. I want to be a renegade with the lover that I choose, not a follower.

Vegetable Lo Mein.

Off work. Back home. There’s a bunch of people over here playing video games in Anthony and Kevin’s room.

Getting into a heavy yet playful debate with Darren about the situation with Margot having sex with someone else last month. I’m quite past all this nonsense but never had the chance to discuss it with Darren being his friend is the one who involved himself with her. Now I’m just reminded at how disgusted I am with the whole thing. And I really don’t want to see this guy in my house.

I explain how I value kissing more than any other sexual physical activity and tend to reserve it...

Darren: “Get your shit together and start kissing girls!”

Sharing leftover Spring Rolls and Chocolate Chip Cookies with Milk downstairs with everyone. Akira (1988) on the tube in the living room.

Darren: “I don’t believe in anything anymore. I mean...I believe I can fly.”

He impresses us with his stacking abilities.

We all head to the Friend’s School for nighttime fun and games. With Stephanie, Elliott, Sarah, Rusty, Carlos, and a stray cat we call Whiskers. Basketball madness and rope swing theatrics.


Dog Day Afternoon (1975).

Sleep 5 a.m.

[i] Will Barras.

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