Monday December 26 2011


Waking up at 11:16 a.m.

Instant Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal. Orange Juice.

All day shift at China Wok.



Grilled Cheese with Tomato and Hummus. Potato Chip Trio. Honey Oolong Tea.

Organizing files.

Dinner rush.

Pear. Fig Bar.

Tofu and Mixed Vegetables with Rice and Garlic Sauce.

Reading an interesting blog article on natural and dark ecstasy...

“People are constantly exposed to furniture and flat shapes and non-biological structures in our civilized urban life, but the human mind was not created to be surrounded by the Euclidean geometric shapes. Human consciousness is designed to be surrounded and immersed in the psychedelic fractal geometry of biological forms kaleidoscope of organic earth.”[ii]

Finally off...back home.

Everyone’s over here...

Friend’s School. Competitive 4-on-4 basketball game in the 37 degree cold. Hot steam emitting from the urine. Foggy breath. Freezing fingertips.

We do another game of 2-on-2. Before we start I take a short look at the picnic table where all the bystanders are gathered smoking their cheap cigarettes and chitchatting and playing guitar.

“Look at that image over there. I wish someone would paint that.”

Back at the house. Unwinding.

Josiah hobbles downstairs into the dining room where a few of us are. We greet him and all of a sudden he pushes the free game box over and turns over the lounge chair and tosses the folding chairs in the air, and in a drunken fit causes mass destruction to the whole room. Something tripped in him. I knew he drank a whole bottle of wine but he was happy and jovial earlier on the courts. I tumble on the ground attempting to restrict his movement. Skippy and Kevin help.

Kevin: “Dude, what the fuck is your problem?”


Me: “Just breathe, man.”


We let him go and he saunters upstairs to his room and mumbles, “Don’t worry. I’m taking a vow of silence for a year.”

On the way he knocks a few more things over...


Skippy: “I think if Josiah actually takes a vow of silence I wouldn’t even be mad at him.”

Later, Margot stops in and provides wine...sipping on it, lounging in the living room getting into a discussion on the existence of ghosts and aliens, and paranormal experiences.

In my room with her, lying down and falling asleep...

Waking up briefly and considering some things...


Pondering the meaning behind what Josiah did earlier. Not to give him any excuses or justify his freak-out actions, but I think I get what he was doing. He was rebelling against all the urban man-made obstructions that surrounded him in this house, and there are many. The dark ecstasy was too much for him. Destruction seemed to be the only solution. Get rid of everything. Clear it out. Make way for natural whiteness and emptiness. Bring back the nature in all of us.

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