Friday July 23 2010

DREAM: Hanging out with Art. We get back home (the house looks different inside – there’s a second story.) We climb upstairs to look for Roma and Renee. Nobody in Art’s room. My room is next door. We open it up and all I can see is Roma naked on the floor facing the closet. Somebody says, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I assume Renee is there too and they were about to have sex. On the way back downstairs talking with Art, “Yeah, Renee’s done this before…” I start to get a little angry and somehow I know it was Margot and not Renee that was in the room with Roma. Sitting in chairs with other people waiting for Margot to come downstairs. She sits down in a seat near me. She knows that I know already. For a while I try to pretend everything’s normal but then I feel a sudden burst of rage. I dart out of my chair, tackle Margot to the ground, and start questioning her, “Why! Why! Why would you do this again? Why…” All of a sudden, I’m on the phone with her instead but she’s still sitting in the chair next to me. I notice we’re in a restaurant now as well. A guy sitting with our group gets up and demands that everybody be quiet. I yell out loud to her, “You always have reasons. You need to stop confusing reasons with excuses!” Switch to a scene outside in the night: Her and I sitting in separate chairs with others. “Do whatever you want, Margot, but just know that you’re killing me.” There’s a long period of silence and I’m writing what I had just said down in my green composition notebook. A feeling of dread comes over me. Looking at Margot and thinking to myself, This is really over. This really isn’t going to work

Around 3 p.m. waking up with that same sense of dread from the dream but then taking comfort in reality.

Breakfast: Toasted Whole Wheat Bagel with Butter and Strawberry Jam. Dynamo Juice.

Observing the ants crawling around the front door. I place an ant hotel in the corner and watch one ant in particular discover the treasures inside it, but he doesn’t indulge himself. He simply turns around and alerts the others. I realize that ants have an Asian mindset, in that the group as a whole is the most important and not the individual. The prosperity of the colony is an ant’s main focus. We can learn a lot from these annoying bugs.

Emily: “They’re hard workers.”

I decide to make the ant 1623’s employee of the month.


Musicplayer stuff online.

Lunch: Grilled Cheese with Tomato. Salt N Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea.

Watching TED videos.

At the storage unit playing piano and working out a new song.

Margot meets me at the house and we go to Divin Livin in Norfolk.

Rage Quit is playing. Watching Danny Shain and his antics on guitar – particular moments of rock that tickle my heart strings.

Margot locked her keys in the car, which is in front of a small church. Looking through the oval glass doors and listening to a gospel chorus. One of the ladies belches out as loud as she can go, almost touching on that moment where one cracks their voice.

Eating microwavable Pad Thai Noodles.

Playing drums with Eric. Gabe deejays, feeding the rhythm and bounce of the hot hot room. I feel the floor breathe up and down as the people dance and groove. Feeling this oneness with movement as I bang and bang repeatedly.

Getting home, Roma and Jamil have new friends over. They’re lighting up Sambucas and downing them.

Eating a bowl of Frosted Shredded Wheat Cereal.

Unreal with Roma.

Drinking Orange Juice.

Sleep around 5:30 a.m.

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