Wednesday October 17 2012


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Out in public. I have to use the bathroom. I find a hallway of stalls but all of them have curtains instead of doors. I consider finding another place to go but I really have to take a crap. I step inside one of them and close the curtain, which isn’t very thick and you can practically see through it. Useless. The toilet is doused in urine and wet toilet paper. I rip off some paper towels and start wiping everything down as much as I can. I mean it’s dreadful. I fear I’d probably get some kind of disease if I sat down without cleaning it. That’s how bad it is. Finally it’s clean enough. I sit down but not after placing a layer of toilet paper on the seat, which I always do as a precautionary measure. I can hear other people just outside the stall. I catch a few walking by. The lack of privacy doesn’t bother me so much now. I’ve got my laptop on the ground with random porn footage playing on it. I suppose I’m trying to relieve myself sexually. Originally I was just going to take a shit.

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Waking up around 12:30 p.m.

Coffee. Instant Blueberry Oatmeal.

House business.

Double Egg Sandwich with Mayonnaise and Tomato. Potato Chip Trio. Pomegranate Blueberry Drink.

Book hunting at the thrift stores near Newtown Road. Finding some great books for only a buck and some change.


On the way back I notice the hot doughnut light is on at Krispy Kreme. I couldn’t resist to treat myself to two Glazed Donuts. Remembering when I was a kid and my mom used to take me here late at night and we’d watch the big doughnut machine through the window. I see two Filipino kids run over to that same window and watch in wonder.   

Meeting up with James Graves at Rick’s Café. We have to do this every once in a while to catch up on our personal lives in a one-on-one setting. I order the Spaghetti with Marinara Sauce and Italian Bread with a side of Broccoli.


We start out on the topic of dreams and how to fall asleep quicker without all the pressing jumble of thoughts that race through your brain before sleeping. He says he likes to imagine himself alone on an island and focus on the surroundings, to practically meditate and tame your thoughts.

James: “Or maybe imagine you might fall asleep in a dark cave.”

Me: “Oo. That sounds good actually. I like that.”

James: “Can you imagine hearing the drips from the ceiling? Can you imagine how cool it is inside the cave?”


Me: “I mean what life problem isn’t girl related?”


Me: “You don’t understand the burdens I put on my own back. I put those there. They’re not burdens I can’t carry. I just wanna be able to complete them.”


I brought along this Black Erotica book I got from the thrift store. Reading aloud excerpts from some of the sexually charged poetry. It entertains us well.

“Then, quick, like a bulb blows,
the orgasm starts and ends—
it fills the walls of me with heat
as dense and sharp as an injection,
quick as the breath I exhale, it
descends like a heavy fog down,
sharp, immediate . . . It comes and
goes, a flash, an appeasement.


JP and our newly acquainted friend, Christine, drop in. It’s nothing unusual to run into familiar faces here at Rick’s. In fact, most every time I make an appearance here I happen to see JP...unscripted.

Back at the house with Will Clark, Jonathan, Kelley, and Anthony. We’re revved up and ready to watch the long anticipated film adaptation of On the Road (2012). It had a limited release but with the help of internet savvy friends we were able to obtain a high quality file of it to display on our TV tower. For all of us in the room we find our own special nostalgia for Jack Kerouac’s story, especially between Anthony and I whom we often call ourselves by the book’s main characters, Dean Moriarty and Sal Paradise, I being Sal and Anthony being Dean of course. The movie is a beautiful visual realization of the book. I bake some Chocolate Chip Cookies to share with everyone.

Troubleshooting some things on the computer. Then, sleep at 5 a.m.

[i] Chocolate Erotica. Image by James.

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