Monday October 29 2012


☼ ○ ▬

I’m on the clock for China Wok delivering an order to a strangely built house that requires me to climb a ladder to get to the front door. I reach the top but find it difficult to maintain my balance; I keep thinking I might fall. I knock and knock but no one comes to the door. While waiting I situate myself in such a way that’s comfortable and then I start to draw a picture with my pen symbolizing a family as a self-sustaining community that can prolong life. Someone finally opens up and we make the exchange. The man adds to my drawing and says, “I hope you don’t mind that I drew some more on your picture.” Whatever he did fit quite well with the images so I didn’t mind.

▬ ○ ☼

Waking up at 11:15 a.m.

Strawberry Toaster Pastries. Orange Juice.

All day shift at China Wok.

It’s Day Two of Tropical Storm Sandy, or Frankenstorm as some are calling it. The rain and wind beat down on my back. Flooding in certain areas is unavoidable.

Delivering to a repeat customer from yesterday. They stiffed me then and so it happens again. Without any shame I say to this guy, “I do work for tips just so you know.” There’s hardly any response from him except for a mumble. I’m just thinking to myself, how ignorant and inconsiderate do you have to be to stiff the man who’s delivering to you a fully prepared hot meal amidst this storm? I feel if his social skills were better he might possess a little more empathy than he did and maybe, just maybe, he might’ve understood what it’s like to be in my shoes. I guess his parents are to blame. Either way I say my angry words of peace and move on.

Five Guys French Fries with Ketchup. Honey Green Tea.

Despite the unfortunate first delivery, business is booming and the tips in general are generous. It’s busy as all get out. I mean I’ve barely turned my car off all day.

Arriving at The Dolphin Inn. The customer is on the 11th floor and to my dismay the elevators are out of service as a precaution. The white pieces of paper taped to the elevator doors state, SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE. “Of course! Well this will be a good work out,” I tell myself. Then I trot up the eleven flights of stairs for a $5 tip.

Phew. This day just keeps going and going and going. The storm subsides quite a bit towards the later half of the evening. With every tip I hear a Cha-Ching above my head.

Hot and Sour Soup with Rice and Spring Rolls.

Wow. And what a profitable day it has been, probably the most profitable in my China Wok history. Worked 11 hours. Drove 173 miles. Delivered 40 orders. Made a grand total of $239.60 including the wage. A rarity for sure.

Elliott and his girlfriend Michelle invite Darren and I to Rick’s Café afterwards. I order a slice of Apple Pie with a cup of Coffee.

Somebody cracks a joke about Romney and Darren, without warning, retorts back with some kind of your mom joke-thing like he always does on automatic.

Me: “Oh wow. That was original.”

Darren: “Yeah.”

Mockingly I produce a monotone chuckle and call him a “dorkface”.

He grins and says, “I’m really good at this.”

Me: “What? Being yourself? On repeat? Oh it’s awesome!”


We try to encourage Darren to flip the cream cups with us. He refuses by saying, “I’m the conscientious objector. I don’t compete.”


Briefly we talk about The Smurfs and Darren concludes it with, “If I had a girlfriend I’d paint her blue.”


Discussing the next generation of kids that are learning, through modern realistic forms of entertainment, the skill of manipulation.


On the drive home with Darren.

A cold shiver shoots down my spine from the coldness in the air. I announce, “This is probably the first shiver of the season.”

Darren, while shivering himself, lays out his plan for the rest of the night in an excited manner, “I’m gonna get on my robe! I’m gonna be so baked. I’m gonna eat some chocolate. Drink some scotch. And I’m gonna masturbate because I’m really lonely.”

We both share laughter. To make fun of ourselves while shedding an exaggerated light on the deeper emptiness in our lives makes it easier to understand. It’s the recipe for great comedy I suppose.  

Back at the house.

Eating a Banana.

Watching Trainspotting (1996).

Sleep 4ish a.m.

[i] Obama Unicorn. Source unknown.

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