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[i]☼ ○ ▬
I’m spending a lot of time organizing this particular corner
in a schoolroom that resembles the corner of my living room, with the computer
desk and all. A coin operated candy machine filled with Nerds. A computer
monitor. Boxes full of documents. Meanwhile, a group of friends are corralled
outside on the back patio, not necessarily waiting for me to join but for some
kind of party.
▬ ○ ☼
Waking up sometime after 1:30 p.m.
Strawberry Toaster Pastries. Orange Juice.
Watching Sleeping Beauty (2011), not the Disney
classic.
Chores.
Pita Pockets with Hummus, Cheese, and Tomato. Salt n Vinegar
Chips. Honey Green Tea. Some Strawberries.
Taking a walk in the cool night. Stomping around in the
abandoned basketball courts in front of our neighborhood. Learning Russian on
my iPod. My body aches from whatever brute physical activity I got involved
with yesterday or maybe it has something to do with the food I ate last night.
I can’t tell. Something feels off. I feel stuck. It’s an awareness of the rut I’m
in. No production. No progression. It’s like I’m just sprawled out on an inner
tube in a stagnant lake. I need a restoration. I’ve lost my ambition. I just
need a push to take that next step. Something needs to change.
Richie, Anthony, Kevin, and Tristan are having a jam
practice in the living room with an Americana folk vibe. I settle down at the
dining room table and construct the fourth collage of mine.
Polenta Provencale with Carrots and Sweet Potatoes. Bud
Light.
Richie walks in and says, “You’re losing it, Robert. You’re
on a downward spiral.” Even though this was meant as a joke it’s funny how
relevant it is to how I actually feel.
In my room, reading Franny and Zooey.
A bowl of Cheerios with Brown Sugar and Milk.
Sleep around 4 a.m.
[i] Don't Get
Lost. Mixed Media Collage by me.
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