Saturday April 21 2012

[i]

Waking up around 11 a.m.


Back to the weekend grind – all day shift at China Wok.


Banana. Orange Juice.


Only had to take one order in the last hour and a half so that gives me time to troubleshoot the power window issues in my car. Turns out it wasn’t a fuse but just a disconnected wire in the doorframe.


Margot calls me while I’m waiting for orders at the restaurant – to say hi and that “I love you”.

Me: “Sorry about last night. I was being overly insecure. You were just making feel like I had no right to. But what you were really saying was I had no reason to.”


Egg Sandwich with Mayonnaise and Tomato. Five Guys French Fries. Honey Oolong Tea.


Slowly the day churns producing stingy inconsiderate tips.


Snacking on Quaker Cheddar Cheese Rice Snacks.


Reading an article on the evolved attitude of men towards women: http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html


Thinking about possession and how I’ve slowly drifted into the desire for ownership, psychologically and almost literally when it comes to lovers. Deep down I want so badly to be one with the other. I project my expectations and standards upon her – trying to control the flow.


Off work a little after 10 p.m.


Broccoli and Snow Peas with Rice and Garbanzo Beans.

Watching Werner Herzog’s Into the Abyss (2011).


Fortune cookie: “The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.”


Margot comes over pretty late just as I’m about to settle down for sleep. She’s sporting that new hot pink dress of hers.

Cuddling in the bed – on her side she clasps onto me with her whole body...

Me: “You’re like a koala. And I’m your tree.”


Sleep 2:45 a.m.


[i] (Cut Collage version) Carla Andrade.

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