Monday April 30 2012


☼ ○ ▬

Walking through some sort of museum with comrades. We come across an interactive display representing a lost subculture of people that wear these electronic backpacks which have a flat grid screen built into it flashing different 8-bit designs in an orange tint. It’s also understood to be related to the Crossfire board game that was popular in the 90’s. I show my friend who is just as excited about these packs as I am. I pick one up and strap it around my shoulders. A mask/helmet comes with it but I don’t find it comfortable. One of our comrades is a robot creation with the ability for dual presence, meaning she can be in one place and another copy of her can be in another. There’s an understood attraction between her and I but more on her end – she makes moves on me but I know it’s not beneficial for me. I watch as her evil copy does something sexual with Margot in front of the Crossfire subculture display. Meanwhile her more centered self attempts to keep my attention by seductive glares and words. I’m not that interested in much of anything that’s going on. I stay reserved.   

▬ ○ ☼

Alarm goes off at 10:50 a.m.

Hot Cinnamon Oat Bran with Brown Sugar, Flax Seed, Blueberries, and Milk. OJ.

All day shift at China Wok.

It’s a slow one.

Egg Sandwich with Mayonnaise and Tomato. Five Guys French Fries. Honey Oolong Tea.

The day continues...cautiously...without urgency.

Snacking on Quaker Cheddar Cheese Rice Snacks.

Finally off work.

Broccoli and Snow Peas with Rice in Black Bean Sauce. Corona with a Lime.

Earlier I texted Becca out of a sudden burst of nostalgic inspiration...

“becca! I want to do the waffle house thing with you tonight! please! okay? ill buy your waffles. you shape my head. c’ old times. ill even record our conversation.”

Luckily, she agreed it was time. So we meet up at Waffle House off Indian River. In our respected booth in the corner. It’s been at least a year since we’ve met up here. This used to be a Monday night tradition. I find it funny that our late night elderly teacher man is here as usual. We begin our conversation...


Music in dreams – the difficulty of remembering the jingles after waking up.


Me: “I’m such a sentimental guy. That’s my problem. And I realized something today too – different things about how people think and how the way they see a relationship. Sometimes you have to remind yourself the way you view the world is not how someone else views the world. Just because I get emotional or I think this is important doesn’t mean this person thinks its as important.”

Becca: “Right. There’re different rules that would apply.”

Me: “They have different expectations and priorities...”


Me: “Sometimes too much awareness is not a good thing.”


Me: “Why do people like to take pictures of their genitalia?”


We get into it over our respective romantic relationships and how long they’ve endured. Sometimes there’s doubt. We both like to humorously imagine us years down the road...

Becca: “I’m really terrified, like, one day we’re like 40 and I’m like, Yeah the divorce has finally gone through.


Me: “Yeah you’re gonna be 40 and I’m gonna be 41. We’ll be like, Hey you wanna go to Waffle House? We haven’t done that in a few years. And we’ll meet up here. You’ll be like, Yeah so the divorce papers finally went through. And I’ll be like, Yeah Margot and I got in a fight again. She called the cops for like the tenth time. [Haha]  I just don’t know what I’m gonna do man. I feel like I love her and hate her all at the same time. [Haha]

We laugh at our future selves.


Getting Waffles and Coffee.


Complaining about the lack of sleep she’s been getting lately

Becca: “For some reason I can’t sleep lately. I can’t sleep very well. A couple hours a night.”

Me: “A couple hours a night? Becca, that’s not normal.”

Becca: “But this week has been pretty good for that. I got up to 5. And I slept 12 hours one night.”

Me: “Ha. 12 hours? You realize that’s half of 24.”

Becca: “Yeah I was catching up I guess. I feel like that’s a big issue to every thing else in my life.”

Me: “Lack of energy and lack of rest are definitely gonna affect everything in your life.” 


Becca: “You need to build an empire around you wherever you go.”

Me: “I do?”

Becca: “You do and you will.”

Me: “I do and I will.”


Me: “I love being ambiguous. It’s fun isn’t it?”

Becca: “Yes.”

Me: “It’s really fun.”

Becca: “I’m all about that.”

Me: “You’re the king of that.”

Becca: “I know.”

Me: “You really are. Like, sometimes it’s easier for you to be ambiguous than it is to be straightforward. Is that weird though? Shouldn’t it be easier for people to be straightforward?”

Becca: “I appreciate when people are straightforward.”

Me: “Yeah. I know right. But you’re just ambiguous all the time.”

Becca: “It’s funner.”

Me: “Funner is not a word. It’s a better way of life.”

Becca: “It’s a better way of living.”


Me: “It’s a better way of living.”


It’s time to leave Whouse.

Back home.

Sleep at 4 a.m.

[i] Kilian Eng.

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