Sunday November 20 2011


DREAM: We park the car off the interstate at a rest stop that has a built in restaurant. I leave my two comrades in the car as I explore the terrain. I step into what looks like an abandoned storage house. The floor is no longer visible as garbage bags of clothes and other miscellaneous items stack up at least 3 feet. I topple over the junk and suddenly realize that someone may be actually living here. I grab a few things for myself: some cool pictures to hang on my wall at home. I leave and find myself having a difficult time trekking back to the car. It’s an uphill climb. I’ve become very young, taking on the persona of a little boy.

Alarm goes off at 11:36 a.m.

I notice a few texts from Margot that she sent around 5 a.m...

“...ok just let me know if that’s something that interests you...I miss you. I hope you wanna see me.”

All day shift at China Wok.

Cheese Danish. Orange Juice.

The deliveries are steady this afternoon.

I thought about what I would respond to her with but I feel silence is a better game to play. She calls randomly; worried something might’ve happened to me.

Me: “Hey...sorry it’s been busy.”


Her: “Can I come ride with you?”

Me: “ that’d be nice.”

Her: “You’re such a little boy.”

Me: “You make me nervous.”


She shows up and joins me on my delivery runs. It’s nice to feel her warmth next to me while I drive and hear her animated voice. I lovingly grip her jean thigh to make sure she’s real and that the form of her legs hasn’t changed. Check.

She pops a question, “So do you still not want a girlfriend?”

Me: “Um...I don’t want to answer that question. We shouldn’t talk about our relationship right now.”

I caress her head a few times and attempt one of those awkward side car hugs. But we redeem ourselves when we get out of the car and she goes to leave. I embrace her with focus and attention, kissing her on the cheek a few times and once on the lips.

Peanut Butter Bagel. Potato Chip Trio. Honey Green Tea.

It’s a hailstorm of deliveries. No time to breath. No time to sit down. Just jump in the car. Speed. Jump out. Run to door. Transaction with a smile and a few kind words...“Have a nice night!” Run to car. Speed. Jump out. Run into restaurant. Repeat.

Aloe Vera Drink.

I invite my mom up to work after it dies down. She sits and helps me snap the peas...

Speaking of a friend of hers she says, “He had good intentions...”

Me: “They always do.”

Mom: “You know what they say about good intentions right?”

Me: “What do they say?”

Mom: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions. I don’t know who THEY are but that’s what THEY say.”

Back the card table with Mom and James Graves and Josiah...

Carlo Rossi Wine and classical symphonies on the radio. Petite Poppy Seed Rolls and makeshift Rice meals. 

Vegetable Lo Mein.


It’s another sitcom night where guest characters walk in unannounced—door squeaking open and shut—Rusty, Stephanie, Lauren, Elisa, and her friend Tony. Josiah changes the station to something more lively. James and Rusty happen to be wearing the same green Zelda shirt stating I SAVED THE TRIFORCE.

Josiah: “May the tri-force be with you! I think that could apply to the entire world right now!”


Friend’s School adventures...Mom joins us kids at play...rope swing fun...shooting hoops. We’re at the end of November yet it resembles a brisk summer night. I’m happy my mother can tag along and be a part of our regular night shenanigans. There’s still a kid inside her. 


Every time I talk to you I lose my resolve.

Chugging jugs and carafes of Milk with Josiah.

Within the past two weeks Anthony hasn’t really been present in the house, or at least in my vicinity, which is kind of disturbing for me. He is usually the house cat, always there, ready to boost your ego and enhance your life. Something’s happened but he won’t talk to me just yet...I find a letter from him on my laptop...

Sleep 4:21 a.m.

[i] Anthony’s Letter.
[ii] Rope Swing Ghosts. Image by James Graves.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.