Friday November 18 2011


DREAM: My name is Andre. I’m an older respectable man who’s financially well off. I’m watching a film inside some get-away mansion. A man performing on a baby grand piano. Other club members around me. A security officer examines my name on a tiny notepad.

He questions it, “So your name is Sandre?”

Me: “No. It’s Andre.”

I notice there’s a scribbled in “S” before Andre...

Me: “No. That ‘S’ was a joke.”

Officer: “Oh. Okay.”

He doesn’t seem convinced but allows me permission to continue my stay in this strange place...

Waking up around 12:30 p.m.

A bowl of Cheerios with Brown Sugar.

Nicole and my mother come over. We sit down at the card table in the dining room sharing Tea and steamed Green Beans with Garlic and Almonds. They relate to each other about their cleaning experiences, as Nicole currently cleans houses and my mom has done her share of the same in the past. I decide to take care of all the dishes and clean up the kitchen. Discussions veer to my mother’s change in diet and consumption lifestyle...

Mom: “I found that being empty is important to being full.”

There’s warmness between the two of them. I’m glad they had the chance to talk.

Anthony comes downstairs, fills up three shot glasses with water, and chugs them all for show.

Distance is important. I feel I’ve gained clarity.


Stef and Josiah are lounging in my room—she’s painting Vaginasaurs merchandise—he’s making a box out of vinyl.

Me: “Man, recording is such an ordeal. It’s not easy.”

Stephanie: “If it were easy it’d be sleazy.”


Josiah mocks himself, “What did you do today Josiah? I made a box.”


Stef: “What was your first girlfriend like?”

Me: “Well, my first girlfriend was voluptuous. My second one was skinny. I’ve been through all the extremes.”


Art stops by to have a few brews. He’s disappointed in his China Wok shift tonight where at least 5 people didn’t tip.


Wesley Bunch makes an appearance.


Sharing dinner at the table...Black Beans with thick cut Onions and Mixed Vegetables and Rice. Engaging in a discussion with Stef on past relationships and our respective roles in them...

Me: “Sometimes I wonder if I was attracted to them or if they were attracted to me.”

Later, Darren and Josiah join us and we have arm wrestling matches.

Sleep at some point...

[i] Arm Wrestling. Image by me.
[ii] Vaginasaurs Merch. Image by Stef.

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