Saturday July 9 2011

Oversleeping—about 25 minutes late for work. It’s because of how comfy her bed is but I told my boss it was because I ran out of oil in my car. The latter is a better excuse.

All day shift at China Wok.

Stopping by the house real quick to fill up my car’s water tank. James is there on the couch watching TV and offers me a breakfast biscuit from McDonald’s. I didn’t have the chance to eat anything so this is perfect timing.

“You’re a life savior, James!”

Breakfast: Egg Biscuit. XXX Vitamin Water. Strawberries.

It’s a slow slow slow afternoon—snapping the snow peas for the restaurant—playing slow contemplative jams on my laptop.

My mind is cluttered with sad and angry thoughts—the road rage doesn’t help.

Watermelon—Peaches—Blueberry Yogurt.

As I’m driving out of my neighborhood I see the road is clear for me to go and pull up just past the stop sign. To my right, a guy on a bicycle slams on his breaks in shock. I gesture an apology and allow him to go.

But he insists I go, “Go ahead,” then he says sarcastically, “You’re more important than me.”

Wow. What a thing to say. But he’s right. Drivers do feel more important than any other form of transportation on the road. Obviously, being the majority has a lot to do with that.

I pick up a few more orders at the restaurant and happen to see that same bicycle guy turning a corner. I creep up in my car and apologize formally, “Hey man. Sorry about earlier.”

He’s sweating and replies, “It’s fine. No problem.”

IDEA: I think Craigslist’s Missed Connections personals should be expanded upon. How cool would it be if after a day’s driving you could apologize for cutting someone off on a personal ad, or even the opposite, complain about that blue dodge charger that almost ran you off the road? How many times did you wish you could speak your mind to all those inconsiderate drivers or express your gratitude? Well this could be your chance by using Driver’s Missed Connections. Think about it.

Lunch: Peanut Bagel Sandwich. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea.

Margot surprises me with a visit—she tags along with me on a few orders…

She’s the epitome of a backseat driver—pointing out potential cautions—“That’s a stop sign, Robert!”—“Oh my god!” and making me feel like I don’t know how to drive.

Her: “Every time I ride in your car I feel like I’m gonna get in an accident.”

Me: “And have we ever gotten into one before?”

Her: “…”

Me: “Exactly! Relax. I drive for a living.”

Delivering an order off Piney Branch.

The customer opens the door…

Me: “Hi. How are you?”

Customer: “Better than some. Worse than most.”

Deliveries here. Deliveries there. Deliveries everywhere.

Dinner: Vegetable Lo Mein.

Finally off.

Enjoying a Dunkelweizen Wheat Beer.

Chores around the house.

James walks in on Margot and I talking about her search for a new place to live.

Margot’s in an excited mood…

Her: “I have a Venus Fly Trap. My vagina teeth love your penis meat!”


“So I was looking at engagement rings the other day—just to look—”

James: “Dangerous territory, my friend. Dangerous territory.”

The cavalry arrives, and by that I mean Anthony and the rest of the gang. A bottle of beer is thrown against the wall and no one accepts responsibility for it, leaving a guest to willingly help clean it up the stains on the wall and carpet. If only our nanny was here.

Sleep 3:30 a.m.

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