Tuesday June 15 2010

DREAM: With Art and Renee. We walk outside in the early evening. “Let’s play tennis Robert.” On a beat up tennis court with no net. Art and I begin to play but he keeps hitting these ridiculous shots off to the side nowhere near where I’m standing. Renee is kind of dancing behind me. I see these kids over on the playground “bumping and grinding”. As a joke I tell Renee she should go bump and grind with them.

Waking up 2:50 p.m.

Breakfast: Hot Oat Bran with Cinnamon, Brown Sugar, Blueberries, and Milk. Orange Juice. Zinc, Vitamin E, Alfalfa Grain.

Organizing all of Tammy’s stuff.

Riding my bike to work at the ice cream shop.

Walking into the tackle shop to get some change. Doug, partially my boss, looks at me and is shocked at how white I am for some reason. In a joking way he says to me, “You look unhealthy!”

Lunch: Tuna Salad Sandwich with Tomato. Oriental Rice Crackers. Mango Oolong Tea.

Reading the newspaper and finding many disturbing articles.

“no motive offered

‘I still cannot understand why I did what I did. This is a question I will struggle with for the rest of my life,’ Huckaby said, her voice trembling. She said Sandra ‘did not suffer, and I did not sexually molest her.’ However, evidence indicated she was molested. The cause of Sandra’s death was homicidal asphyxiation.”

Reading Adbusters Magazine. There’s an article explaining how too much work can be unhealthy. Quoting Thoreau, “There is no more fatal blunderer than he who consumes the greater part of his life getting his living.”

Thinking on the idea of a mind, or brain, being uploaded to a computer, no longer needing a life support system (the body); the brain being fed illusions and fake realities. The digital age is paving the way for our physical bodies to degenerate.

Sitting in the stool, looking through the door and watching all the people walk past the ice cream shop; some of them attractive and some of them unattractive. Beauty. What drives one to seek out the beautiful? Why do I find myself with a drive so strong to experience the beautiful things I see; to conjoin and indulge all of my senses until I’m convinced that I’m fully gratified. Our biological need to have sex is obvious, but there is something else that pushes us to satisfy this need, something divine, something out of love. Of course, one can misplace their sexual needs for power.

Riding home. Art and his friend are sitting on the porch drinking a few beers. I pull up a chair and eat leftover Pasta with Beans and Chicken, Potatoes, Spinach.

Selling a dishwasher to a guy with white truck. Tyler shows up and helps me retrieve it out of the shed.

Eating Strawberries and Cool Whip.

Art has concerns about keeping his money in a bank. He tells me horror stories about him and his other friends losing money from having a bank account.

Sitting on the red couch. Tyler puts on O Brother, Where Are Thou?

During the movie, unaware that Tyler fell asleep for a few minutes, he jolts himself awake.

Organizing all the items I have to sell online.

Eating a Toasted Bagel with Nutella and Milk.

Watching The Libertine.

“Graciana is not innocent, or she would not have such insight.”

“The theater is my drug, and my illness is so far advanced that my physic must be of the highest quality.”

Sleep around 6:45 a.m.

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