Tuesday January 31 2012


DREAM: Vision of a float house, or a lake house, as it is identified by the narrator in my dream. A small pier with two homes docked against it...swaying up and down...in the middle of the ocean. This seems quite dangerous and an unstable place to live.

Not getting out of bed until 12:40 something p.m.

Just a Banana and Orange Juice for breakfast.

Grocery shopping. Bumping into Skippy at Trader Joe’s. I pretend to be his food dietician and give him pointers on healthy food to buy.

Grilled Cheese with Tomato and Hummus. Potato Chip Trio. Aloe Vera Drink.

Watching About Schmidt (2002).

We received a postcard in the mail today from Anthony. Apparently he’s been in Rhode Island bumming around Brown University. 


Google work.

Stretching my body out.

Editing. Organizing music files.

Coffee and Pumpkin Muffins.

Salmon with Green Peppers, Onions, Broccoli, and Mushrooms. Rice and Garlic Naan Bread. 


Enjoying dinner at the card table while Becca snips Darren’s hair down to a handsome look. No more mushroom head.

Richie, Margot, and Kevin meet us at the house and we head over to the Russian’s house for a water pong tournament. Once there, spirits are high...a sort of mini-reunion...with Art, Jamil, and Roma. Anna and few of her girlfriends show up too. I team up with Darren but we take an epic loss against Richie and Kevin. Margot and Becca are called up but they’ve never really played before and also take a loss. Margot storms off. Her bad attitude and bad sportsmanship is unbecoming. Outside, she demands we leave.

Me: “Margot, we just got here. What is your problem? Is this all because you lost a game? It’s just a game. C’mon, why can’t we just hang out and have a good time?”


Her internal conflicts of self-pity resurface and are taken out on me. I forgot the world revolves around her when things go awry. Once again, here we are...in the middle of the night...in a parking lot...a brisk wind and arguments flowing. Doubting the idea of getting back together for fear of these episodes continuing. Our conversations don’t go anywhere no matter how much logic I sort out.


I drive us back to my house and she gets in her car and retreats to her place, then calls me sobbing about how all she wanted was to spend the night with me and sleep in, because she had nothing to do tomorrow for a change.

Me: “I’m a nice guy. Why can’t you get along with me?”


Me: “Look, the key is in your hands if you want to change.”

I told her I needed to chill out by myself and that I would call her later. I take a walk outside and smoke a clove.


Becca came home to drop off Darren. I invite her into my room and we share our frustrations over our respective lovers. ***There is no relationship without trust.***Old habits die hard.***

She leaves and I try texting Margot but no response. She must’ve fallen asleep. Before I doze off she calls me upset because I didn’t call her even though I texted her. In the end I convince her to come over and resign in my bed. After a little squabble about the same shit and some lovemaking we venture off to sleep...snuggled next to one another...around 5 a.m.

[i] Floating House. Paulette Phillips.
[ii] Postcard from Anthony.
[iii] Pre-Haircut Darren. Image by me.
[iv] Talking with Becca. Image by Becca.

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