Waking up around 11:20 a.m.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Flax Seed, and Almond Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Catching up on business.
Running errands – stopping by The Heritage and the tailor.
Eggs. Bagel, Sweet Potato. Spinach. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Tofu and Veggies with Rice Noodles from Bangkok Garden.
Watching a John Wayne Gacy documentary.
Catching up on business.
I gear up to go on a bike ride and on my way out I spot Ana sitting in her car. She’s purposefully been avoiding the house after work and I’ve felt her trying to distance herself from me. I try to chat with her but all she can do is crack the window and say she’ll be moving out before August. I try to express to her how sad I’ve felt about the relationship. She’s being very stern with me about everything. I just wanted to catch up with her – I feel like I haven’t talked with her in forever.
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We make our temporary peace and I go on my way riding down at the oceanfront listening to some Beethoven pondering everything – how I regret neglecting her in any way and taking her for granted. I know the psychology of myself holds me back from expression. I have a tendency to sabotage relationships. Even though I’m such an open book I hide things sometimes.
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