Friday May 20 2022

Waking up off and on throughout the morning – I just can’t seem to stay asleep after the hot sun is out. And plus I’ve got a lot weighing on my heart.


Breakfast Bar. Tea.


I knock on Ana’s door to talk with her. I stand there leaning up against her black dresser holding my cup of tea just trying to catch up but she just has this wall up and is acting irritable that I’m even in here. I try to express my heart about the situation but she’s got many things to do today.

At some point I just declare, “I won’t waste any more of your time,” and sheepishly return to my room.


Sitting on my bed I can’t help but cry. Before Ana leaves the house she gratefully checks in on me and gives me a hug.

“You’ve been my best friend,” I tell her with shaky lips.


At the Rec I get caught up in a few pick-up basketball games – running up and down the court burning off calories.


Spinach Salad with Eggs, Tomatoes, Beets, and an English Muffin. Coffee.

Watching Better Call Saul.


Driving to Norfolk. On the way I’m feeling lost and hopeless. I discover a few songs related to a song Ana sent me a while back in the genre vein of contemporary R&B soul. Aaron Frazer’s “You Don’t Wanna Be My Baby” in particular really affects me.


Stopping by Nomad’s to collect some shirts I had on consignment. Then, stopping by H&M to return some pants.


At the studio I reorganize a bunch of things.


Back home. Warming up some dinner.


Composing some words.


Playing piano.


Chores – laundry – changing the cat litter.


Having a hard time getting to sleep. I know Ana is still out – it’s likely she’s spending the night somewhere else – I have no idea where – she doesn’t communicate anymore and it hurts.


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