Wednesday March 30 2011

DREAM: Someone informs me the world is going to end in the year 2011. As we’re walking along the sidewalk I see behind a fence in a vast field an army of creatures or monster-like people marching with intent to follow us. We make our way around the corner—they’re gaze is fixed on my path. I run…

Waking up sometime after 5:30 p.m. alone.

Breakfast: Organic Blueberry Pop Tart. Orange Juice. Zinc.

Work at China Wok.

Lunch: Chicken Salad Sandwich. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea. Apricot Mango Yogurt.

Kevin is moving his mattresses and stuff into the house—helping him with that. Approaching Kenneth in the backyard shed (his lair) for some rope. I’m stuck listening to his rantings about his sister and other junk.

Listening to Rachel over the phone.

Rachel: “It was like the icing on the inconsiderate cake…”

Organizing music.

Visiting the queen at work—I bring her a pretty flower—an expression of excitement on her face. We almost witness a bar fight come to surface between two agro drunk dudes—one of them slams a wooden chair into the floor. None of it makes any sense, but since when does inebriation bring any kind of sense to anyone.

Chatting with her about how our days went. She looks so happy.

She pops out a question, “So am I your girlfriend now?”

Both of us smiling. I’m thinking to myself, Well, that’s up to you. You’re the one who tried to leave me for a mistake. Did you really think I’d let you go that easily? Did you really think you could escape from me? And here we are. I’m gaining the upper hand again—letting you feel the pangs of desire and longing. To love and be loved in return is all I wanted. It’s all you wanted. It’s all anyone ever wants. Is this really happening? Do you really want to reclaim your rightful place as queen? Shall we rebuild this kingdom?

Me: “You know the only reluctance I have is you not trusting me and making me feel guilty. As well, I want to trust you. We have to give each other a clean slate. We have to trust one another. Trust comes with love.”

I don’t want you to see the ghosts of my past anymore. And I don’t want to see yours. I want you to see me as I am right now in front of you. The present “me” is strong and wise and full of affection for you like you’ve never known. I’m a Leo. I know how to be loyal and your life will always be interesting.

Dinner: Two Eggs with Polenta Provencale. Carrot. Fresh Garlic Bread. Chocolate.

Newspaper route.

Coast to Coast AM—discussing clairvoyance and the power of the mind (mentalism).

Sipping on a beer and changing guitar strings. I hate changing guitar strings. But these new pink luminescent ones are pretty cool (thanks Margot).

Eating a bowl of Cherrios with Strawberries and Brown Sugar.

Practicing songs at the storage unit.

Sleep 9:30 a.m.