Saturday March 12 2011



The cozy and quirky sounds of Coco Rosie whining on the computer speakers. In the middle of the night, or rather day, while I’m trying to sleep, Rachel is making subtle movements throughout as if she’s in a constant state of situating herself. I can’t seem to get into a dream state because of it. But it’s kind of precious and I respond to it. She plays an interesting role in my life, that of a sisterly type. She’s always the one I rant and vent to about my romantic frustrations with The Queen and other things. We both have an understanding and respect for it. She’s a special breed—psychologically relieving.

Her: “I feel like I’m keeping you awake.”

Me: “Yeah kind of….but don’t feel guilty about it.”

She leaves the room.


DREAM: Running away from someone alongside a hilly terrain. I start jumping—gaining high altitudes—kind of floating at the same time but still swiftly landing when I want to and safely. A gang of shadow people, resembling ninjas, are chasing me but all I can make out is the blackness of their figures. They throw grenades that as soon as they hit the ground a dangerous black smoke drifts up in the air just barely missing me. I seem to be attached to a string as if something or someone high up is protecting me—marionette-style.


Getting out of bed at 5:30 p.m.


James Graves tells me a dream he had that deals with the same jumping floating action I used in my dream:

“had a sweet dream with you in it last night. first we were shopping in a mall looking for some clothes and we found an arcade. i tried to get change but the lady at the counter said she would get me change later. someone else came up to the counter and she gave them a good hand full of quarters but still refused to give me change. ... trying to use the dollar in the machine didnt work because it was missing the right parts as i found from checking the inside of it. then i tried to get change from a chick fil a that served italian foods like pizza and pastas, but they were busy. feeling impatient we just kept shopping. now the cool part of the dream was when we were walking home. as we walked anytime there was a down hill part to our walk we would jump to see how far down hill we could go with out touching the ground but as we did this we would float swiftly but land safely on the ground. i won of course.”


English Muffin with Peanut Butter. Orange Juice. Zinc, Vitamin D.


Work at China Wok.

Delivering an order over in Colonial Arms Circle. A little kid on the floor of the living room is playing with toilet paper rolls. He yells out, “Thanks for our food!” and then as I’m leaving he says, “I’m gonna get your glasses!”

The other driver is being an order hog tonight. I tell him outright and he seems to understand.


Lunch: Grilled Cheese with Tomato. Salt N Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea.


Hanging out at Concrete—You’re Jovian is playing—a wall of sound penetrates our ears—Dinosaur—Roar—Rumble. Doug and I slow dance and then, rowdiness.

Meeting up at Rick’s Café with James and Tristan. Margot joins up with us.

Her: “I’m so HUNGRY!!”

She keeps spotting people who were just at Harpoon’s.

At some point I start describing this grapefruit orange hybrid.

She stops me, “Sorry. I’m not listening to you.”

Me: “Why aren’t you listening to me?”

Her: “Because I’m doing other things. I’m looking at you instead. I was checking you out.”

[giggle]

Me: “You’re more interested in my looks than my words aren’t you? My intelligence is irrelevant to you.”

Her: “Yeah, as long as you’re cute. That’s all a girl cares about.”

I immediately think of that Weezer song, “You laughed enchanted by my intellect. Or maybe you didn’t.”

Drinking Coffee and eating some of her Pancakes.


Back in my room—she’s sleepy. I find an old playlist from my ipod to put on the speakers, soft pop bands like The American Analog Set and The Album Leaf tunes. Napping—she’s in my arms.


Newspaper route.

Eating an Apple Turnover and Milk from 7-11.

Entranced with this Snowden song called “Don’t Really Know Me”.

Don't Really Know Me (EP Version)

It’s just a beautiful hypnotizing and emotional moment. There’s lyrical relevance, maybe in a symbolic way. You probably won’t get it. But it’s not for you. It’s for me. It’s my association and mine alone.

“Are you going to be your dog?

Are you ready to be your god?

Everything that’s expected of

Everything that’s requested of

Wait outside of your place

In the haziest state

Honey don’t be afraid

I cut you into my legs

Don’t be afraid

Don’t be afraid

This is how true love behaves

No you don’t want to know me

No you don’t want to know me

Cause you don’t really know me

She said”


Taking care of the pigsty in the kitchen. Jesus said once that anyone has the ability to command a mountain to jump into the sea. That’s exactly what I said to the mountain of dishes and wah lah.


Eating Scrambled Eggs. Goldfish. A Clove of Garlic. Orange Carrot Juice.


Search engine evaluating.


Trader Joe’s. What’s up Daniel!


Sleep 10:45 a.m.

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