Friday July 9 2021

Waking up at 12:32 p.m. next to Ana. Elvis is waiting patiently in the computer chair for us to arise.


We drive out to Zeke’s for Smoothies – I also get a Tuna Pita Wrap for later.


House chores.


At Music Makers – Allyson’s working the front desk. It’s a very slow day here cause only Rebecca’s teaching. I’m just here to work on a few things like watering the plants and organizing the group photos.


At the gym for a leg day workout. As I’m leaving the rain clouds have formed, probably remnants from the storm down south. I sit in the driver’s seat pondering things. I’ve just been so melancholic lately mainly regarding my relationship with Ana. She’s really been trying hard to be in a better place mentally. Today especially she’s been showing a light heartedness towards me. I’ve found myself feeling distant and I don’t understand it.


Back home. Cleaning up. Warming up dinner for her and I: Peas, Cabbage, Eggs, Quinoa, and Naan Bread.

I put on The Conjuring (2013) even though I saw it recently. I wanted to share it with her.


Later on, I chill out on Ana’s bedroom floor while she sits Indian style atop her dresser on a sea green pillow. Elvis lounges in his black and white striped chair in a very cat-like position. We get into conversation on the aftermath of all the depressive episodes that have been happening lately. I try to relay to her my feelings and explain why I’ve probably felt so distant to her. It’s not an ultimatum or anything but I try to explain that “every time something like this happens it chips away at our relationship.” She talks about an analogy with horses and how you have to ease on the reigns to allow the horse to maneuver the way you want. Enforcing more control sometimes achieves the opposite effect.


Cookies. Raspberries. Corn Tortilla Chips.


No comments: