Monday February 17 2014


Waking up around 1 p.m.

Cinnamon Oatmeal with Brown Sugar, Cranberries, Almond Meal, and Almond Milk. Orange Juice.

It's Movie Monday at the house tonight and I've been thinking hard about investing in a big screen TV, nothing too fancy, just 1080p and at least 40 inches. After browsing online I decide to just see what Target has. The lady at the electronics counter gives me a $50 discount for no reason. Score.

Hard Boiled Egg. Blue Tortilla Chips with Salsa. Blueberry Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese.

Watching a Vice documentary about a strip club in New Mexico for truckers.

Setting up the new TV.

At The Escape getting an exhilarating workout – strength resistance training – ab exercises – running.

Back at the house. Stephanie and Leisa want to shoot a scene for this short film they're doing, something dealing with a character not getting into a James Franco acting school. They ask Darren and I to sit next to Leisa on the couch and pretend to be potheads.

Leftover Haddock. Salad. Naan Bread with Hummus.

We all settle down in the living room (Will, Ken, Stephanie, Leisa, Darren, Ana, and I) to watch Adult World (2013). There are wonderfully funny and memorable lines in this movie. John Cusack nails his role. Sipping on Coffee and eating one of Ana's homemade Peanut Butter Topped Chocolate Cupcakes. Afterwards, a little camaraderie – inducing howls in Sophie through a video on Youtube entitled "Guaranteed To Make Your Dog Howl".


Earlier something seemed to be bothering Ana, unrelated to me but enough to cause a concern. Throughout the evening I try to find out what's the matter but of course she's closed off. Eventually we're in the bedroom and she tries to explain her complex mood. We both know the meds for her acne are affecting her hormones, as well she just started birth control. You can't chalk up everything to hormonal dysfunction but you can't count it out either. She's always had problems opening up to me, even through all this time we've been dating. For some reason she's able to confide in other close friends but when it comes to spilling the real guts to me there's an invisible wall. I don't know what she's afraid of. It's frustrating because I want to help. I want to be that warm shoulder she can lean on. But I know I am. We start to touch on the behavior of introverts and how they feel empowered when in solitude. We both have similar yet unique associations to introvert-ness. In the end I guess she just feels the struggles she wrestles with in her mind can be just as easily stood up to on her own. I understand the importance of that but there's also a time when you need another to encourage and edify. During our conversation I clobber down a half container of Grapes.

Sleep at some really late hour.

[i] Adult World still.

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