Wednesday April 24 2013

When It's Over. Source Unknown.[i]

Waking up at 1:17 p.m.

Baked Cinnamon Brown Sugar Grapefruit. Honey Black Tea.

Aysena sends me this picture of an excerpt from something she found online...

There’s an unsettling shift in this long-distance relationship. I think it’s actually taken a serious turn towards failure or at least a downgrade. We chat on Skype for about thirty minutes. I try to instigate small talk and ask questions about her weekend but there’s a look of heaviness in her face. She’s mentioned ending what we have before and I usually chalk it up to the lack of physical closeness. But even when I was there in Russia she alerted me to something that was missing.

Me: “I don’t believe you right now. You are like a rollercoaster. Just two weeks ago you can be all happy then all of a sudden this.”

“I was trying,” she says. She was trying. Just trying. That’s why she acted like everything was okay before. I don’t know. It’s a big mush of something. But I know deep down it only requires a simple understanding. Even though I feel nervous and sad, it’s not that tragic.

Me: “I’m a fighter. I’ve always been a fighter.”

And obviously we both know the difficulties of solidifying this relationship in the future. A lot of strings would have to be pulled to get her an American visa. Or I’d have to consider a move to Russia, which is something I’ve considered doing, even if only for a short time. Just let time take its course. Understanding and revelatory thoughts will come. I’m just so god-awful nostalgic. It’s almost a vice for me. I think it makes me a weak person sometimes.

Egg Wrap with Non-Dairy Cream Cheese and Tomatoes. Salt n Vinegar Chips.

Anthony, Kevin, and Richie are practicing downstairs. I give Kevin a hard time about how he keeps starting his violin melody on the wrong beat. It’s not really his fault because Chris isn’t here to support the song on drums so it’s hard to pick out the rhythm. It’s a playful debate back and forth...

Me: “Wait. You’re not listening to the 1. Listen. Here’s the snare.” And then I imitate the kick and snare on the table.

Kevin: “I know music Robert!”

Anthony and I have our neighborhood friend Moe meet us at the house. We take two basketballs and check out the Lynnhaven Middle School courts in hopes we can find some players for a game. Almost immediately we get locked into a 3-on-3. Unfortunately, my old Vans slip-ons aren’t cutting it for me. I’m developing blisters on my big toe making it hard for me to pivot. But the games are fun. The first bunch leaves and another guy named Matt joins us for 2-on-2. We play so many games I can’t keep track. One hour goes by. Two hours go by. Then three. The longest basketball session I’ve had by far.

Back home.



Darren, Art, James, and I head to Chicho’s on 29th for the beer pong competition but we arrive too late cause the sheet is full. Art leaves. But Darren and I share a large Cheese Pizza.

Back at the house with James, Calum, and Leisa. We pop open our PBR’s and Mickey’s and engage in a few interactive games of cards, mostly “Bullshit”. Richie whistles nonsensically on the recorder flute while we play.

Calum: “One six huh?”

With a mischievous smile I answer, “Yes.”

Leisa: “Bullshit. Bullshit, Robert!”

Me: “Test me.”

She flips over the card and everyone sees that I bullshitted.

Me: “How did you know I was bullshitting?”

Leisa: “Because I know!”

Me: “How did you know!?”

Leisa: “Cause I knew!”


James slaps down three cards, “Three three’s.”

Everyone exclaims, “What!” cause normally when someone puts down more than two cards it’s highly likely they’re bullshitting.

Me: “C’mon. Who’s callin’ that? C’mon.”

James eggs us all on encouraging someone to call bullshit, “Three threes. Who wants to call it?”

Me: “I’m not.”

Leisa: “I’m not even gonna call it cause I feel like you want me to call it too bad. You’re too excited.”

We move on to the next number.

James sarcastically sounds disappointed, “I cannot believe you’re not callin’ it. You know, I’m gonna kill someone tonight cause obviously I can get away with murder.”

Leisa: “What?”

James: “Just kidding.”


The game is done.

Calum: “That was fun. I laughed. I lived. And I loved.”


I had been sharing some of the Alenka Russian chocolates with everyone.

Leisa takes a bite from the morsel and asks, “What is the filling? What is it?”

Me: “Dude, it’s just like Soviet babies basically, mixed with sugar and caramel.”


Then we try our hand at “Phase 10”. Darren steps out of his bedroom to observe the happenings. He sits at the far end of the table.

Calum: “Are you watching everyone?”

Darren: “I’m having an out of body experience.”

Richie giggles, “Oh shit.”

Darren laughs at himself in that identifiable chuckle of his.


James somehow transforms our conversation into tongue twisters...

James: “I uttered the word udder so I could better have butter.”

Me: “Hey! You better have butter! Save the butter for others!”

James: “There is no other udder to utter better butter.”


James: “The otter uttered, Better butter the udder.”

Sleep sometime around 3:30 a.m.

[i] Source unknown.

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