Tuesday April 16 2013

Elliott Behind Thrift Store (April 16 

Awakening around 1 p.m.

Baked Cinnamon Brown Sugar Grapefruit. Peanut Butter Bagel. Black Tea with Honey.

Errands. Bank. Visiting Elliott at the thrift store – grabbing a few goodies.

Back home. I attempt to reach out to Aysena. She’s seemed less communicative and uninterested lately. And she said something slightly disturbing to me yesterday that kind of hurt my feelings and I wanted an explanation about: “I think the day is coming soon when we can say goodbye to our love and stay friends.” I insist on Skyping. She appears on the computer screen.

Me: “Hey.”

Aysena: “Hey.”

Me: “So what’s been going on?”

The pangs of distance between us sometimes affects the security of our relationship. I show her a picture of a Buzz Lightyear poster from the thrift store (she’s in love with him). This sparks excitement and life back into her face.

Me: “Is that what it takes to make you smile again? I have to show you a Buzz Lightyear picture? Why do you like him so much?”

Her: “He’s cool! And speaks Spanish. He’s brave, strong. He’s romantic. He’s sometimes shy but still hero.”

Me: “But what about Woody? He’s more romantic I think.”

Her: “But Woody’s more nervous. All the time he wants to be the first...”

Me: “Buzz Lightyear isn’t real. They’re all just toys. I’m real. I’m a real boy!”


She opens up more about her personal struggles like what she’s gonna do after she graduates in June. Her mind is clouded with a lot of decisions. I understand where she’s coming from. In regards to what she said before she explains it was just “stupid girl shit”.

Lentil Wrap with Tomato, Mustard, and Hummus. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Lemon Water. Alenka Chocolates.

I get a final message before she goes to sleep (cause it’s about 2 a.m. in Moscow): “you always give me breath of life. miss you so much and don't believe me when I say that I don't miss you .

Repairing and tweaking the road bike Elliott sold me last night. And then doing the same with the mountain bike I’ve had forever.

Kevin and Elliott coerce me into riding with them to the beach. We meet up at Baja’s on 23rd Street. Chomping on a Fish Taco and a Mango Greek Yogurt. Darren links up with us. Conversations ensue on the recent bombings in Boston – the potential cover-up stories and the overwhelming fear that is instilled in us from the popular media. Outside on the patio Darren and Kevin argue about how many Sunsations stores there are at the oceanfront. Kevin says only three. Darren says nine. Elliott and I take it upon ourselves to cruise the strip and find out the truth. It’s a beautiful night to ride – the chill breeze – the salt air. Even the obnoxious loitering on The Block has an aesthetic to it. In the end we figure out there are eight Sunsations stores in total.

Kevin BLPBGH (April 16 

I'm Not Showing My Ass To You, Robert 
(April 16 2013)*

Back home.

Tinkering on the guitar.

I get lost in watching old video footage from past Musicplayer shows with the full three-piece band. I miss those times.

Sleep 4:30 a.m.

* Images by me.

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