*
Awakening around 1 p.m.
Baked Cinnamon Brown Sugar Grapefruit. Peanut Butter Bagel.
Black Tea with Honey.
Errands. Bank. Visiting Elliott at the thrift store –
grabbing a few goodies.
Back home. I attempt to reach out to Aysena. She’s seemed
less communicative and uninterested lately. And she said something slightly
disturbing to me yesterday that kind of hurt my feelings and I wanted an
explanation about: “I think the day is coming soon when we can say goodbye
to our love and stay friends.” I insist on Skyping. She appears on the
computer screen.
Me: “Hey.”
Aysena: “Hey.”
Me: “So what’s been going on?”
The pangs of distance between us sometimes affects the
security of our relationship. I show her a picture of a Buzz Lightyear poster
from the thrift store (she’s in love with him). This sparks excitement and life
back into her face.
Me: “Is that what it takes to make you smile again? I have
to show you a Buzz Lightyear picture? Why do you like him so much?”
Her: “He’s cool! And speaks Spanish. He’s brave, strong.
He’s romantic. He’s sometimes shy but still hero.”
Me: “But what about Woody? He’s more romantic I think.”
Her: “But Woody’s more nervous. All the time he wants to be
the first...”
Me: “Buzz Lightyear isn’t real. They’re all just toys. I’m
real. I’m a real boy!”
...
She opens up more about her personal struggles like what
she’s gonna do after she graduates in June. Her mind is clouded with a lot of
decisions. I understand where she’s coming from. In regards to what she said
before she explains it was just “stupid girl shit”.
Lentil Wrap with Tomato, Mustard, and Hummus. Salt n Vinegar
Chips. Lemon Water. Alenka Chocolates.
I get a final message before she goes to sleep (cause it’s
about 2 a.m. in Moscow): “you always give me breath of life. miss you so
much and don't believe me when I say that I don't miss you .”
Repairing and tweaking the road bike Elliott sold me last
night. And then doing the same with the mountain bike I’ve had forever.
Kevin and Elliott coerce me into riding with them to the
beach. We meet up at Baja’s on 23rd Street. Chomping on a Fish Taco
and a Mango Greek Yogurt. Darren links up with us. Conversations ensue on the
recent bombings in Boston – the potential cover-up stories and the overwhelming
fear that is instilled in us from the popular media. Outside on the patio
Darren and Kevin argue about how many Sunsations stores there are at the
oceanfront. Kevin says only three. Darren says nine. Elliott and I take it upon
ourselves to cruise the strip and find out the truth. It’s a beautiful night to
ride – the chill breeze – the salt air. Even the obnoxious loitering on The
Block has an aesthetic to it. In the end we figure out there are eight
Sunsations stores in total.
*
*
Back home.
Tinkering on the guitar.
I get lost in watching old video footage from past
Musicplayer shows with the full three-piece band. I miss those times.
Sleep 4:30 a.m.
* Images by
me.
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