Wednesday December 19 2012


Waking up in her bed. It’s early, maybe eight a.m. She’s squirming and moaning and being generally cute – complaining about a headache and being thirsty.

Amongst the bed banter she requests, “Will you at least pretend like you love me?”


We sleep more until around noon. I give her a ride to her car then go home.

Strawberry Toaster Pastries. Orange Juice.

Sometimes I’m completely dumbfounded by the rollercoaster ride of reason people put themselves through. In one moment they feel secure and safe in their relationships and ideas but then in another moment it could all come tumbling down to a chaotic halt; all of a sudden they realize something they didn’t notice before, something they didn’t understand before, that it’s all wrong, something’s amiss; it’s not everything its cracked up to be in their heads. It was all just a fantasy.

Peanut Butter English Muffin. Goldfish Crackers. Aloe Vera Drink.

Feeling unusually tired I doze off for some time in my computer chair.

Despite the brisk cold air Anthony and I take to the basketball courts. We shoot around – free-throw contests – rehearsing two-man plays full court. Our conversation dabbles a little bit in the concept of time travel, free will, and how much control each of us really has over the choices we make in life.

Anthony: “Excuses for Time Travel, a novel by Robert Smith, a New York Times bestseller.”

Salmon with a Salad and Garlic Bread. Tom Collins.

It’s a full poker night with the boys: Art, Roma, Jamil, Darren, James, Will, and myself. We play turbo tournament style with three games of $2 buy-ins. Art rakes in the first one. I take the second. Then Darren and I split the third. I notice that it’s a tad less hectic without Kevin involved.

Cheerios with Brown Sugar and Milk.

Watching American Heart (1992).

Sleep 4 a.m.

[i] Image by me.

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