Monday December 3 2012


☼ ○ ▬

A big old grey house with thirteen rooms. It’s understood that I’m a girl. I’m given a tour of the whole house in all its vastness. I’m offered to stay here for $80 a month but I have to shack up with a stranger and share a small space.

▬ ○ ☼

Slumping out of bed immediately at 11:20 a.m. Gotta be at work in ten minutes.

Strawberry Toaster Pastries. Orange Juice.

All day shift at China Wok.

Oh my’s beautiful outside...the sunshine pressing down on my bare face. Why do I have to be working on such a gorgeous day? I prefer my work shifts to be bleak and dreary.

Half a Lentil Spread Sandwich with Sprouts. Five Guys French Fries. Honey Green Tea.

The darkness comes early as usual around 5 o’clock. The fresh night breeze feels good through my windows.

Out of nowhere I get a call from Rachel. All I can hear on the other end is a few sporadic sobs and sniffles.

Me: “Rachel?”

More sobs.

Me: “Rachel, what’s going on?”

She eventually speaks up and I find that its nothing in particular but everything all at once that’s overwhelmed her...this life...her life...the loss of life...the negative curses that drive her into psychological meltdown. I’ve known of her existence since she was fifteen and here she is at twenty-one with a handful of history. She’s like a younger sister to me, sometimes reaching out to her big brother for comfort and solace. I stay on the line and listen closely to all the troubles of her mind but unfortunately my work interferes.

Me: “Rachel, don’t underestimate your friends. We’re all here for you and we love you.”

Grabbing a Thai Tea from Bangkok Garden to keep me from drowning in a sea of mundane.

Off work and back home.

Hot and Sour Soup with Broccoli and Rice.

Watching Daydream Nation (2010).

Fortune cookie says, “If I bring forth what is inside me, what I bring forth will save me.”

Doing nothing really except feeling exceptionally tired.

Sleep 2:30 a.m.

[i] Nicolas Poillot.

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