Tuesday August 2 2011

DREAM: I walk outside of my house in Chanticleer but it’s a hotel setting—enclosed lobby and hallways. I’m holding my cell phone talking with Raven but trying to find a quiet place to chat. All the while I’m exploring the surroundings—discovering a bowling alley that seems to be open late at night, then a gym with basketball hoops. In my mind I make a note to show Anthony these places. I couldn’t believe we’d been living here all this time and never knew about a bowling alley or a gym. I try to explain to Raven over the phone the events from last night and how frustrating it was. The whole conversation is realistic and believable as if we were actually talking in waking life…but in contrast my dream environment is surreal and unrealistic. I finally find a storage room but there’s an annoying echo when I speak. I get off the phone eventually or maybe I still have her on hold. But I run into these two kids whom act very intrusive at first. But then we help each other find the way back to the correct hallway or block where we live….

Getting out of slumber sometime after 1 p.m.


Errands—running into Kelsie McNair and her mom at Target.

“Kelsie McNair!”

Blueberry Streusel Bread.

Anthony texts me in the middle of the day: “Trouble and anguish have taken hold on me. Yet thy commandments are my delights. The righteousness of thy testimonies is everlasting. Give me understanding and I shall live. Psalm 119:143-144”

Eating an Egg Sandwich with Tomato and Mayonnaise while Darren expresses to me his frustrations with the house and the people here…

Salt n Vinegar Chips and Lemonade.

Kevin and I browse through Anthony’s thrift store and bring in a nice haul of misc records, books, plates, pictures, a barometer, and a ship-themed blazer, which Kevin ends up rocking as he walks up to the BP gas station clerk for cigarettes.

Kelly Suddeth, whom most of us all know in some way or another, is over here—sharing Biscoff Spread Toast on a plate that says “Happy Everything”. I leave Hitcher in the Dark on the TV for her and Kevin to enjoy while I occupy myself upstairs.

Darren makes me an Old-Fashioned Cocktail.

Darren: “The whole reason I’m frustrated is because I haven’t been able to spread my seed.”

I decide to shave off my beard, but not all of it at first…a soul patch and a Hitler ‘stache…

Rachel: “Just cause you’re turning 80 doesn’t mean you have to be all crotchety!”

Carmen wears the Ice Cream sneakers I obtained from the thrift store along with some tube socks that say I So Don’t Care. Photo shoot time…

Carmen forces me to cook Beer Glazed Black Beans with Onions. I’m not opposed…

Eating leftover Rice-A-Roni with Mixed Vegetables with it and a Hoegaarden.

I’m feeling different—fresh. This whole day has been unproductive in a functional sense but constructive in my spirit—Lay back, Robert. Relax. Every problem and anxiety I have in my mind will have its time and acknowledgement. But for now…chill…fill…lift…touch…real,,,,,,no need to analyze…,,,just breathe, drink, eat. I need to be away from stress and tension—I need to feel free with my friends—social confidence...in myself…spreading love and light and humor.

These ○ Are ○ Our ○ Pains

Music Is My Place ○ Music Is My Catharsis ○ Music Is My Everything

Eating a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and finishing Appaloosa [2008].

Sleep before 5 a.m.

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