Monday December 30 2019


Waking up off and on throughout the morning but officially at 11:37 a.m.


Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond Milk. English Breakfast Tea.


Catching up on business.


It’s 67 degrees out! So Ana and I grab a few basketballs and shoot around at the courts next to Lynnhaven Middle School.


Scrambled Eggs. Blueberry Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese. Corn Tortilla Chips with Guac. Spinach. Coffee.


Teaching lessons at Music Makers. We had quite a few cancelations today so I hold it down at the front desk.


Immediately after I get off work I head over to the hospital to see mom. Pastor Rick, Wanda, Lisa, and Bobby Sturgis are there all in those throw away gowns. Pastor prays over my mom – they must’ve been here for some time beforehand.


After they leave I talk with mom. She’s had a few moments over the weekend where she felt really sick and in a lot of pain, so much that she felt it was time for her to go.

“I’m not gonna make it. I don’t think I’m gonna make it,” she says to me as I lean over the railing and look at the sadness in her face.  

Over the past few months I’ve had moments where it hits me like a ton of bricks, just the thought. I hate to hear her say that now. But we’re probably gonna be transferring her to hospice care tomorrow. I hope to God some miracle might happen and the mass in her adrenal gland might go away. But also I don’t want her to suffer anymore. This is so hard for me and I know for all the people close to her.


Picking up some dinner from Aloha Snacks: a Chicken Sandwich with Fries. I don’t really have much of an appetite but I need to eat.


At home – doing chores – dishes – laundry.



Making mom some homemade Jell-O. She kept talking about wanting some. So I buy some gelatin and some fruit juices and whip it up. Delivering it to her later on in the night. She’s thrilled!


Sleep 4 a.m.

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