Sunday January 5 2014

Panda Ana (Jan 5 2014)[i]

Waking up at 11:15 a.m.

Honey Bunches of Oats with Almond Milk. Clementine.

All day shift at China Wok.


Just another day on the job, a busy weekend shift.

Leftover Pad Thai Noodles. Maple Leaf Cookies. Honey Black Tea.

In the restaurant kitchen I see Ling whip out a de-feathered chicken on the cutting board. It's black in color. I ask Cecily, "Why is the chicken black?" Ming says something in Mandarin and everyone laughs.

Popped Potato Chips. Apple.

Ana shows up around 9 and tags along on deliveries. We discuss food and how important it is to eat right. I joke around and ask, "So when are you cutting your hair?" But she's seriously considering it, I guess per our conversation the other night about change. Her long heavy hair is symbolic of all the burdens in her life; all her fears and insecurities embedded in that beautiful black sea swaying to and fro on her head.

Back home. Ana and I join Darren and James at the table. We enjoy our Tofu meals, mine with Garlic Sauce and Vegetables, hers with orange sauce and vegetables. James is sipping on a bottle of white wine with a content face. I mention Darren's depressive fiasco last night and we venture into what caused the episode. It all boils down to one girl that he's in love with, that he's been in love with for a long time, "the one".


Darren: "I was thinking about her. All. DAY. LONG."

Ana: "Why?"

Darren: "Because she is the only person in the world that MATTERS to me! Jeeezus! Can't you see I'm fucking in love with her? And she doesn't love me back!"


Darren: "People don't have to settle for bullshit. And that is what I'm quickly learning."


Ana: "Maybe if you cry then maybe you'll feel better."

Darren: "I've been crying for years. It doesn't make me feel better. It just makes me feel worse."

Ana: "Well then maybe you should do something different."

Darren: "I do! I masturbate. I do drugs. I sleep with random women."


Cherry Pie.

Richie and some other people show up. From upstairs I can hear James hollering and singing Weezer songs at the top of his lungs.

I strap on my running shoes and go for a jog into the freshly fallen rain air. It's exhilarating. Meanwhile, Ana conducts some cathartic singing with Darren on the guitar. After listening I joke about how they should call their duo: You, Me, and the Sea.

Sleep 3:30 a.m.

[i] Image by me.

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