Thursday September 13 2012


Aysena wakes up at 7 a.m. of course. And I’m left to sleeping on and off while she cuddles beside me. She leaves at some point to shop at Target. I continue sleeping.


She returns from her outing and, with a big warm smile on her face, hops on top of me. She nuzzles her face into mine.

Her: “You are so sweet...the sweetest thing.”

Passion fills up inside of me and we make sweet afternoon love.

After a while we get the gumption to leave and dine in at Five Guys for French Fries with Ketchup. She gets a cheeseburger as I had Scrambled Eggs earlier. Discussing our schedule for the day.

Her: “We will pick grapes...then?”

Me: “Then what?”

Her: “Then we will have sex.”

Me: “But we already had sex.”

Her: “My calendar was wrote that we need to have sex.”


Stop at the thrift store – Kelley and Elliott are working and hook us up with a scooter, suitcase, and a painting of the color bars.

Jamil meets up with us at the house and we drive out to Blackwater Vineyards just past the courthouses in Virginia Beach. There, we pick muscadine and scuppernong grapes, hauling in about two half buckets.

Stuffing our faces with grapes. It’s difficult to control your hands from grabbing another and another.

Back home. Aysena and I feel exhausted; we lie in the bed for an hour, stripping down and making more love. The hour is nigh for her to leave on a bus to New York and then to L.A for west coast adventures. Even though I’ll see her again in a few weeks there’s still a somber mood kept behind our content faces.

She mutters to me towards the end of the session, “I only want your penis inside me.”

Sharing Broccoli and Quinoa.

Over at the Russian’s apartment playing card games, mainly Durak Podkidnoy, around the card table. Aysena, Art, Jamil, and myself. Jamil makes Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies to share with us.

I drop Aysena off at the bus station on Kellam Road. Both of us feeling touched by a drop of sadness. We hug and kiss multiple times. She hops on and into her seat and spots me staring outside the window. I shape my hands into a heart and signal to her, then blowing a kiss. She smiles big in response. I walk away...

The heart is tender. How did I get here? How did I let myself in so deep so fast? “Who knew?” we’d often ask ourselves. Who knew we would be here with our hearts entangled. It’s a typical tragedy of summer love but I accept my fate.  

Doing the dishes and cleaning up. Anthony just recently quit his Panera job after only two weeks. He sends me an email explaining what brought him to make that decision...

“To Robert, My Main Man:
It had to do with your dream the other night. My reason for quitting that is.
I was standing up by the registers when I started thinking about Spud Webb. My mind was running over that video you sent me of the slam dunk contest...
Spud was only 5' 7 and could dunk. I'm 5'10. Why can't I dunk?
No matter what started happening around me, I just couldn't shake this question out of my mind.
The line of customers grew quickly and I just stood there lost in my Metaphysical Basketball Blues...
I can dunk. I just need to find out what needs to be unlocked inside of me. I need to be strong enough to jump.
I looked around and just felt such a disconnect between my thoughts and my surroundings that I had no other option...
This is not where I am supposed to be.
So I quit. Simple as that.
The dunking is figurative and literal. It is different for each and every person.
But we can all dunk.
We just need to find out what need
s unlocking.
We need the strength to jump.
Sincerely As Ever,

Sleep 2:45 a.m.

[i] Images by Aysena.

No comments: