Monday September 27 2010



DREAM: A TV talk show is being filmed in a small chapel sanctuary. I’m one of the guests on the show—supposed to speak on something, maybe my life story. The black lady that’s hosting directs me to a clear glass container of black brushes with gold handles—she wants me to comb my hair so I look presentable on television. Looking in the mirror and using one of the golden brushes, I comb my hair off to the side showing my natural part—the sides of my head shaven shorter than I thought. I sit down in the crowd about two or three rows back. In front of me is a little black girl and her brother. For some reason they’re using my laptop to watch a movie. Trying to plug back in the earphones but the sound of the movie is loud and disturbs the people around us. I notice another guest on the stage getting fitted for a suit jacket by the host and some other workers. I hear my dad just outside the sanctuary doors making impatient calls and jokes about the show—everybody hears him. It sounds like he just wants me to get up there and do my thing and get past all this preliminary stuff. I keep looking back to see where he is, even looking for the red shirt I was certain he was wearing earlier but no luck. Doug Nicolson and someone else are standing up front now speaking about something techy. ☼☼☼ It’s nighttime and I notice the doors to the Sonic I used to work at are unlocked. I bring Emily and somebody else inside. They’re hungry so I offer them food. I peek around into the kitchen and grab some leftover onion rings and chicken patties. On the way back around I notice the trashcans are still full and need to be dumped—getting slightly irritated from it. I hand Emily and the guy the fried food. I apologize about the quality because it had been sitting out for so long. They don’t care.


Just before 4 p.m. I wake up.


Breakfast: Toasted Bagel Plain with Butter and Blackberry Jam. Orange Juice. Zinc, Alfalfa Grain.


Ableton is still frustrating me but I’ve found another way around this particular bug in the program.


Ambrotious is sitting in the brown basket on the kitchen counter but he’s too fat for it.


Lunch: Tuna Salad Sandwich with Tomato. Salt N Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea. Muscadine Grapes.

Watching Christopher Nolan’s Following [1998].


Rearranging and cleaning my room.


Eating a little bit of Jamil’s Chicken with Rice and Vegetables.


With Margot and Jamil. We meet Ian, Frankie, and Becca at Waffle House.

Drinking Coffee and sharing Muscadine Grapes and Milky, a Japanese taffy candy.

Discussion about movies—actors and actresses and how they’re objectified from the recurring roles they play.

Me: “Margot, I want you to consider some things about life…I want you to think about life.”

Frankie: “My mom hung a zip lock bag with some water and some pennies in it and it keeps the fly away.” Ian: “It’s cause of Abe Linclon.” Me: “Yeah, maybe they have respect for the guy.”

The first waffle I ordered seemed to be cold so I ask for another one, hot. “Yeah, I’m gonna be one of those guys.”

Ian and Margot share their experiences with asshole customers from their restaurants.

Margot’s stoked about Beauty and the Beast coming out on DVD again.

Talking about costumes for Halloween. Becca is humored by the combination of words I choose, “Bunny Butt.”

There’s a huge ravine of water covering most of the parking lot. Margot walks out there in her pink rain boots. I entertain the idea of a kid’s book entitled Margot and Her Rain Boots.


We all head to Becca’s place for a little bit.

Becca and I re-enact the last time I was over here when her dad startled her enough to produce a scream out of her.

Analyzing the layout of her house, Margot says, “There’s a lot of weird spaces in here.”


Driving back home.

Irritated by the semi-trucks blocking our path and taking up both lanes on the highway, Margot lays down the law of the road: “The bigger trucks should be behind bigger trucks because they’re slow.”


Back at home—in my room with Margot.

We play a few games of Sequence—Flora Sapphira playing on my laptop.

This whole evening with her has been light and happy—a genuine happiness—being playful and making jokes. Some of the negativity and hostility tries to ruin the night but is quickly suppressed by more loveyness.

In reference to some of the comments that were made on yesterday’s blog, I joke about how I could post one word online like “lies” or “truth” or “sad” or “television” and everybody would find a way to interject their personal relevance to the word making it personal and about them.


Eating an Egg and Cheese Burrito in a Spinach Wrap and a Banana.


Restoring Emily’s laptop.


Editing tracks on Ableton.


Watching What to do in Case of Fire [2002] and eating Muscadine Grapes.


Sleep around 7:30 a.m.

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