DREAM: Everybody around me is infected with some kind of biological virus that’s turning them into hostile monsters. The building I’m in has a train system constructed into it. Chris Remaley is with me but we split ways to confuse the monsters. I hop onto this white moving platform—it doesn’t produce a lot of speed and sometimes I have to push the ground with my feet to gain any momentum. It doesn’t feel like I’m in any sort of a subway or train. It seems more like one of those scary carnival rides that takes it’s time so you can see every scene. My platform is moving quite efficiently now. Every time I pass a train station I expect to see one of those horrible things, and sometimes I do, and they scream a horrible roar. The platform is shifting corners left and right, going down hills. I notice there is no track and two slanted edges are carved into either side of the front end of the platform making it easier to turn I guess. I fear the mob of infected humans will be trying to greet me at the other end. I make it to the last train stop, which is in some European country. Chris is here. He’s eager to run outside but I stop him in caution, “Wait!” All the people around us seem to be acting normal and not paying any mind to us. There’s a ticket booth nearby the entrance to the outside where they’re selling train tickets I suppose but it also looks like we have to have passports to go anywhere. Something doesn’t feel right about these people. Discussing it with Chris. I approach a female stranger and ask if they are normal and explain that we are too. With a sinister smile she replies, “Well…let’s see if you are,” and pushes me into the sunlight. My skin starts to burn. I pull back into the shadows of the station. Am I a vampire? “What’s going on!” The strangers go about their business. These normal looking people must still be infected but matured to a level of control over it. Back in the station I have a confrontation with a man in the immature stage of infection. He’s constantly grabbing me. I hold his arms back. He wears that familiar sinister smile on his face. Feeling uncomfortable ticklish sensations in the groin area and other places. This is a long and drawn out situation and no matter how much I push him and leave him, he persistently returns. Finally, I start yelling at him and cursing. As soon as I yell, “You’re a dumb fuck!” He stops and his face turns expressionless—wide eyes and no sinister smile. That’s it! This is how we fight them. I realize that just by shouting insults I can change their maturity level of infection back to its beginning stages, and they becomes more zombie-like and weak-willed. I walk further down the hallway of what seems like a school—classrooms everywhere. A group of infected teenagers approach me. I yell and scream at them with every curse word I can think of. It works like a charm. They become harmless. If I keep this up I’ll survive until I wake up…
Around 6 p.m. I get up.
Breakfast: Toasted English Muffin with Butter and Blackberry Jam. Orange Juice. Zinc, Vitamin E.
Buying some speakers from a nice couple on Mae Place.
Trader Joe’s.
Lunch: Hard Boiled Egg. Salt N Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea.
MUSICPLAYER practice at the storage unit. Going over the set and tweaking songs for this Saturday.
Kal: “I really enjoy being in this band!”
At home. Doug didn’t go to the Chick-fil-A grand opening. But he can draw the state of Virginia on an Etch A Sketch in under a minute.
Eating Sautéed Apples in Cinnamon Sauce and a slice of Pizza.
At the unit testing out the new speakers.
Stretching and doing ab crunches.
She wants me to come pick her up from Harpoon Larry’s because she’s been drinking. I didn’t even have a chance to oblige before she hung up on me. She ends up driving home herself. She calls me bitching and complaining about how much of an asshole I am and how much I suck. “You’re a bad boyfriend!” Blah blah blah. Really? There’s nothing I did that called for these accusations. All because she’s impatient and expects immediacy. Alcohol tends to only unearth negative repressed emotions in her. I hang up and turn my phone off.
She shows up to my door tipsy and wet eyed. “Surprise!” I’m not that surprised. I try to explain that I’m not going to talk to her in this manner. “You’re drunk, Margot. I’m not talking to you like this.” Persistent she is and obnoxiously upset. I really don’t understand where this came from and why at such a dramatic level.
She’s sitting in her car and holding down the horn as I walk away. If I go inside she’ll continue. Leaving the porch and into the street, “You know what? I’m running away!” So that’s exactly what I do. Taking off around the corner of Michigan and Louisa. I just keep running. As she drives around the corner in search of me, I dive behind a car and hide. I take a much needed walk around the neighborhood.
Dinner: Macaroni with Vegetable Soup, Kidney Beans, and Mixed Vegetables. Garlic Bread.
Watching The Book of Eli [2010].
Researching why my ankles haven been so itchy lately.
Thinking.
Gosh, she can be so aggressive and cruel! Just as much as I feel stressed, I also feel bad for her. I really care. I do. I see psychotic qualities in her. I see beautiful qualities in her. I see insecurity. I see passion. I see hate. I see affection. If only I could see real love—the kind of love that’s patient and forgiving.
Eating Blueberry Muffins with Chocolate Milk.
Finishing The Book of Eli. Feeling quite inspired after watching this movie. It combines the emotion of The Road [2009] and the fierce action of Mad Max [1979] into one film.
Listening to the ethereal soundtrack of The Book of Eli.
Engaging my thoughts—feeling a sense of release and surrender—serenity.
Sleep 9 a.m.
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