DREAM: On the side of the road. I’m at a standoff with a fat man in a brown suit. I’m squatting—barely moving—holding my gun with both hands. The criminal is on the other side of the car. I can see his feet shuffling. He doesn’t seem to have good aim. Without even moving I am able to shoot him a few times in the leg. He falls down and I shoot him in the chest. I walk around to where he should be but he’s changed. Now he’s an attractive Mexican woman. I’ve got her pinned down inside the trunk of a car. She’s been holding out on information that could end this case. I shove my gun pointing in the center of her forehead. “I’m gonna blow your muthafuckin head off!” Pointing the gun in different areas of her head and cursing repeatedly—feeling the need to punish her for what she’s done. Tommy Lee Jones, the actor, walks over to help. I go over and update him. I look back at the woman and her bullet wounds seems to have healed instantly. “She has regenerative abilities! Look!” Trying to convince Tommy Lee Jones that something is seriously wrong here. It’s understood now that she should leave. As she attempts to get into the drivers seat of the car, I grab her by the shoulders and pull her back towards us. Both of us side by side leaning against the car—Tommy nearby. She never gave us any information so I demand it, “Explain your involvement!” Starting to warm up to her. Maybe she’s not involved in any of this and maybe I’m overreacting.
4:30 p.m. I wake up.
Breakfast: Toasted English Muffin with Butter and Blackberry Jam. Orange Juice. Zinc, Vitamin E.
Work at China Wok.
Delivering an order near Waterfront off Birdneck. I knock. She answers. “Darby! Stay back!” You open the door just enough to squeeze through so Darby, your big brown dog, stays put. “This is better,” you say. Thinking to myself another dog, another customer. This one is wearing tight blue jeans, a plain white sweater, and a dirty blonde ponytail—maybe a mom but definitely not single and definitely not dressed to impress. I watch as you turn and lean your hands against the wall to sign the credit receipt. Then, a sudden change in feeling. This pose, even as normal as it may seem, presents itself in an attractive manner—the arch of her back and the way your body is twisted—not skinny in the least bit nor too big—perfect baby bearing hips. I switch my gaze to the clumpy pale wall—not a good substitute. The dog is sniffing desperately by the crack in the door—he can probably smell my thoughts. Turning to finish the transaction, your face greets me—I didn’t notice how lovely that was either. You smile. I smile. I say the thing I say to everybody else, “Have a good night,” and dart back to the van. On to the next hungry unnamed person.
Number of Non-Tippers for this shift: 1
First Non-Tipper
Race/Description: Caucasian Male in mid 20’s with a lot of tattoos
General Location: Colonial Arms
Type of Residence: Medium Sized Apartment
Quality of Residence (5-Star Rating): ***
Amount of Order: Over $10.17
Friendly/Non-Friendly: Neutral
Possible Reason for no tip/Experience: He answered the door in confusion as if he just woke up from a nap. My knock may have startled him. He seemed despondent and dull.
Target.
Lunch: Grilled Cheese with Tomato. Salt N Vinegar Chips. Blueberry Yogurt. Honey Green Blueberry Pomegranate Tea.
I ask Art to take a package to the post office tomorrow because I’ll be sleeping during their hours. I bake Blueberry Muffins in return.
Stretching. Ab crunches.
Margot walks in, “Is that a muffin peenie?” referring to the muffin picture I took.
Chit chatting in my room about things—she’s unhappy about the lack of money she’s been making at her job recently.
Sex.
Being close to you makes me warm inside.
Dumpster diving at Trader Joe’s: Apples, Peppers, Kiwi, Bagged Vegetables, Butternut Squash Soup, Boursin Cheese, Tilapia, and Mystery Can.
Dinner: Udon Noodle Soup with Vegetables.
Watching Religulous [2008].
Eating Pita and Hummus. Kiwi. Chocolate Milk.
On the documentary I watched Bill Maher had interviewed a Puerto Rican man claiming to be God himself, or rather the Anti-Christ. Discovering that this man is legit, or maybe not. You decide: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pinUjWv2__k
Thinking about how most if not everything I involve myself in is fleeting. I’ve put so much energy into so many things that, in the grander scale of things, are meaningless. But I choose not to give up on these meaningless and fleeting things because they are what make my life interesting and worth living for. Apocalyptic thoughts have their place in my mind but beauty interests me the most.
½ tbsp of Dream Juice.
Sleep 9 a.m.
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