Sunday February 8 2015

[i]

Waking up at 10:40 a.m.

Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maca Powder, Maple Syrup, Chia Seeds, Blueberries, and Almond Milk. Green Tea.

All day shift at China Wok.

Ana bombards me with some distressing text messages.

Convincing her the base of any lack in the relationship is circumstantial. The reality is I work on the weekends when she is off work. On the weekdays she works and I teach lessons. The only time we can have together is late at night. Sometimes we're out of energy by the end of the day. She's worried about her "flaws" and being a burden on my life even though I've repeatedly told her how much of a joyful addition she is.

Banana.

The sun is out spritzing the whole city with rays of hope. It's a dramatic change of weather. Senses heightened. Mood brightened. Energy enlightenment.

Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Butter and Jam. Flax Corn Tortilla Chips with Avocado and Salsa. Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Bites. Oolong Tea.

I've got my windows rolled down and I'm blaring music again. I feel like I haven't played music on the stereo in my car in such a long time. I usually put on podcasts or listen to talk radio.

Orange.

While driving around at night the semi-warm air seems to have highlighted everything in a hyper realistic way.

Off work and back home.

Tofu with Broccoli, Carrots, Onions, and Rice.

Watching Robocop (2014).

Hanging out with Ana briefly. Feeling a sore throat coming on.

Sleep 3:30 a.m.

---

[i] Images by me.

Saturday February 7 2015

[i]

Waking up at 10:30 a.m. with an upset stomach.

Despite my stomach troubles I make the usual breakfast: Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maca Powder, Maple Syrup, Chia Seeds, Blueberries, and Almond Milk. Coffee with Honey.

All day shift at China Wok.

It's becoming apparent that this minor stomach issue is more than just an upset stomach. My body starts to get achy and sensitive. I rub some Tiger Balm on my belly and take a couple Acetaminophen pain relievers.

Stopping by the house briefly to pick up some hot Ginger Tea that Ana made for me. Earlier we exchanged a few voice texts. I requested that she get paper towels and toilet paper for the house in an Indian accent. She responds in a Russian accent.

Request to Get TP from Target (feat Ana and I)(February 7 2015)

Sipping on Egg Drop Soup.

Peanut Butter Toast. Green Pea Snacks. Green Brown Rice Tea.

Delivering an order to a house off Great Neck. After walking back to the car a little boy peeks his head out the front door and yells randomly, "It's my birthday!"

"Oh! Well happy birthday!" I yell back.

I'm dragging my feet to get through this day. I'm terribly tired and still feel sickly.

Back home and off work.

Ana cooked us a special curry dish of Sweet Potatoes, Chic Peas, Carrots, and Broccoli.

We finish watching Boyhood (2014). I'm blown away by this film, shot over the course of 12 years featuring the same actors growing up on camera. Real time, Linklater's favorite device. I think I've decided Richard Linklater is my favorite director.

Sleep 3 a.m.

---

[i] From Boyhood (2014).

Friday February 6 2015

[i]

Waking up at 10:30 a.m.

Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maca Powder, Maple Syrup, Chia Seeds, Strawberries, and Almond Milk. Coffee with Coconut Creamer.

All day shift at China Wok.

Honey Crisp Apple.

Just another day as a delivery driver.

Grilled PB&J. Potato Chips and Pea Snacks. Oolong Tea. Dark Chocolate.

The day continues steadily.

Art comes in to help with the dinner rush.

A couple of throwaway Crab Rangoons.

Off work and back home.

Leftover Curry Chicken with Broccoli, Onions, Carrots, and Rice.

Watching Joe (2014).

Research.

Chores.

Sleep 3:30 a.m. 

---

[i] Image by me.

Thursday February 5 2015

[i]

Waking up off and on throughout the morning in Ana's bed. She's already gone off to work. I can't seem to stay asleep for more than thirty minutes at a time. It's just too bright in her room. I'm used to a curtain darkening the morning light. But I manage to get some good REM later on.

Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maca Powder, Maple Syrup, Chia Seeds, Blueberries, and Almond Milk. Coffee with Coconut Milk and Honey.

Riff Raff: "Some people wanna just only eat chicken breast and rice. I flat out can't cause it taste too much not nice."

Jimmy, my stepdad (or former I guess you could say but he's still family for life), is in town for a funeral of one of the elders of my old church. He stops by the house. We share a cup of coffee and catch up on each other's lives. He has just recently become an ordained minister and has been very active at a church in Florida. He seems very happy; I can hear it in his voice – seems to be really collected and in motion.

Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Butter and Jam. Corn Flax Seed Tortilla Chips with Avocado. Oolong Tea.

Teaching lessons at Music Makers.

Cara Cara Orange.

At the Rec with Ana. She works out in the fitness room while I engage in competitive basketball games in the gym.

Back home for a hot second. Sharing dinner with Ana at the table. I enjoy a light Tomato, Cucumber, Carrots, and Spring Mix Salad.

At Josiah's storage unit off Tidewater Drive for a Ladada practice. Calum's here from Richmond to rehearse with us. It's been a little over a year since the three of us played music together. I feel a bit retarded trying to remember my bass lines for songs I used to know fluently. I brought a large Cheese Pizza and Garlic Knots from Brother's Pizza to share. I already gobbled down three slices earlier.

It's supremely cold. I can't bear one second outside.

Back home for the last time today. Ana pokes her head out the door. After a month of living together she's (and I as well) noticed a new dynamic in our relationship. It's been kind of a social experiment with her moving in and having her "own" bedroom. It's not like we were dating after we became roommates. We became roommates after dating. Either way, she's been feeling disconnected. We don't have too much time to talk about it cause it's after 2 in the morning and we both need our sleep.

I just rubbed on a jojoba eucalyptus oil on my beard...

Me: "You wanna kiss my jojoba lips?"

We kiss.

Ana: "I just need to hold you more."

She reaches her arms around me. We stand there in the doorway enjoying each other's embrace for a minute then off to our respective rooms.

---

[i] Images by me.

Wednesday February 4 2015

[i]

☼ ○ ▬

It's late in the night. Darren and I just finished attending some popular social event in town; it might've been a concert. While hanging around outside two 20-story hotel or apartment buildings Katy Perry walks by in route to her hotel room. I'm not nervous, as one would be around a celebrity, maybe because I've already met her in waking life. We approach her and start small talking. She doesn't seem to be preoccupied with anything.

I ask, "Do you want to hang out with us? We're watching Nickelodeon re-runs!"

There is a TV nearby that's showing some weird Egyptian doc filmed by kids.

"I got nothing else to do," she says.

I request a photo, "Can I get a photo of you and I?"

Katy: "Yeah sure!"

Me: "You probably get that all the time. Sorry for being predictable."

I'm having trouble snapping the picture on my phone so I get Darren to take it with his. We all keep watching the tube. Lying down I start getting close to Katy and wrap my arms around her, sometimes holding hands. She returns the affection. The feel of her body is different than I would imagine; her legs are shaped awkwardly and her hips are a bit wide – not to mention she's bigger than me. But none of this matters. It seems very natural and normal but from an outsider's perspective it could seem surreal that I'm cuddling with Katy Perry. 

▬ ○ ☼

Alarm goes off at 11:30 a.m. but I can't build up enough courage to rise. Around noon I do.

Marley Coffee Raw Protein Drink with Banana and Almond Milk.

Buying a new lesson book from Music & Arts, then dropping by the Salvation Army thrift store off Lynnhaven.

As soon as I get home to grill my usual PB&J Kevin is already in the kitchen toasting his own.

"Is it Peanut Butter Jelly time?!" he asks.

Me: "Dammit, Kevin! How is it that you and I are always in the kitchen at the same time?"

It's seriously like women who live together getting their periods at the same time.

Lessons at Music Makers.

Snacking on a Navel Orange with Greek Yogurt.

Driving over to Jackie's to give her a 45-minute lesson. I come up with a constructive technique today for the adult students: having them play the major scales blind creating a focus on the fingers and removing all visual distractions. It truly works.

It's just before 8 p.m. after all my lessons are done and I barely have time to exercise. I go to the Great Neck Rec for a quick workout and throw the basketball around for cardio.

Back home. Preparing dinner for Ana and I: Baked Tilapia with Broccoli, Carrots, Red Peppers, and Sprouted California Rice (Dark Chocolate later on). I put on Richard Linklater's Boyhood (2014), a 2 hour and 45 minute film. I stop it in the middle cause I know Ana wouldn't want to get through such a long movie in one sitting. I feel the same way I suppose. It's an incredible piece of cinema.

Somewhere along in the night Kevin entertains us with his ridiculous skin-tight long johns and bulky black shoes. He's such an adorable clown.

Meanwhile, we catch Ana secretly snacking on chocolate chips by her pantry in the corner.

I playfully give her a hard time about it, "What are you doing over there?!"

Ana: "Don't worry about it!"

Me: "I caught you secretly snacking!"

Ana: "Oh my God!"

Later on upstairs in her bedroom we lie down near the foot of the bed – recapping ideas and frustrations about life. Talking about how problems and relationships exist only in our minds. They're not a tangible experience – only created by us in our heads. But that doesn't make it any less real. It just goes to show you the power of the human mind.

Me: "When I leave the house and you're home. You can still think about me cause we have this relationship. It's kind of like teleportation. We're always connected in that way."

...

She puts on her slippers and starts to go downstairs.

Me: "Where are you going?"

Ana: "Don't worry about it!"

I follow her and discover she's headed to her pantry to retrieve her chocolate chips again.

Me: "Are you serious? You're getting more chocolate?"

I try to pull her away – we wrestle back and forth as our slippers slide across the floor.

Me: "You have a chocolate problem, Ana."

Ana: "No I don't!"

It's all in good fun. I can't stop laughing as she stays determined and focused on grabbing the bag of chocolate at any cost. But I successfully keep her away.

...

She's been extremely grumpy tonight and she admits it. There's no obvious explanation why.

"I feel so disconnected...from everyone," she explains.

Me: "Yeah, I can feel that."

It's just so late at this point you can blame any feelings of discomfort and confusion on the ungodly hour.

After taking care of a few chores I join her in bed at 3:45 a.m.

---

[i] Images by me.

Tuesday February 3 2015

[i]

Waking up at noon.

Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Chia Seeds, Strawberries, Blueberries, and Almond Milk. Coffee with Coconut Creamer.

Getting my last chiropractor adjustment for a while.

Whole Foods.

Grilled PB&J. Lentil Potato Snacks. Oolong Tea. Dark Chocolate.

Lessons at Music Makers. In between lessons I have a half hour to kill so I drop off the recycle at the drop-off center, then browse the CHKD thrift store. I find a nice soap dispenser and kitchen container. There's also a beautiful upright piano in pristine condition for $500. The keys appear to be practically untouched. And it's Tuesday – every Tuesday it's 25% off. I tinker at the keys for a little bit and debate with myself about purchasing. The problem is I would have nowhere to put it. I decide against it for now. Meanwhile, the girls that work here recognize me as "the China Wok guy" cause they see my purple car everywhere. While small talking I mention how I teach piano. One of them seems interested in learning. I write down my phone number on the back of my receipt and label it "The China Wok Guy".

At the Rec for adult basketball. I get a couple of good runs burning calories and making buckets.

Back home. Curry Chicken with Snow Pea Leaves, Onions, Carrots, and Quinoa.

Watching The Giver (2014).

Cara Cara Orange with Greek Yogurt.

Researching reverse osmosis purification systems for under the sink. Researching piano teacher techniques.

Grapes.

It's 3:30 in the morning and Kevin slips into my room wearing nothing but his undies and a t-shirt.

Me: "Whoa! Kevin, this is my room."

I think he thought this was his room. Realizing what he's doing he apologizes and says he's really tired.

As Josh poetically puts it, "In a world awash in complicated changes, with sudden shifts in perspective and lightning bolts of insight reigning down upon our all too conductive minds, one need only find solace from the storm of ephemera in the fact that somewhere out there Kevin is groaning and farting, falling up the stairs, always."

Sleep 4 a.m.

---

[i] Image by me.

Monday February 2 2015

[i]

Waking up 12:20 p.m. later than I wanted but I guess I needed to catch up on sleep.

Raw Cacao Protein with Banana and a Grapefruit.

Doing taxes – calculating my earnings for the whole year at China Wok – catching up on my to-do list.

Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Butter and Jam. Veggie Flax Seed Tortilla Chips with Avocado. Green Tea.

Giving lessons at Music Makers. Teaching a trio of kids voice lessons at one time – a brother and two sisters. I feel like a choral director.

At The Escape with Ana – running a couple miles and working out. The sauna is finally up and running again.

Ana goes off to Portsmouth to visit with a girlfriend of hers that's about to leave town. I make dinner for one: Brown Rice Quinoa Spaghetti with Onions, Green Peppers, and Pomodoro Sauce along with a Kale Greens Salad with Tomato, Cucumber, and Carrots.

Pineapple. Dark Chocolate.

General chores.

Ana comes back from seeing her friend. She sits down at the table while I cut some cardboard up and affix a new barrier for the top refrigerator door shelf, which has been missing for over a year now.

Me: "I don't even know what behooved me to fix that. But sometimes that's how it happens. Motivation comes out of nowhere and you have to just snatch it up."

Upstairs in her bedroom I discover how overbearing I can be sometimes with my tendency to micromanage things and constantly take care of everything. Sometimes Ana would prefer to figure things out on her own but sometimes not. I warm up next to her in bed after apologizing about everything.

Settling down.

Sleep 4 a.m.

---

[i] TV Worm Hole. Source Unknown.

Sunday February 1 2015

[i]

Waking up just before 11 a.m.

Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maca Powder, Maple Syrup, Chia Seeds, Strawberries, Blueberries, Apple Rings, and Almond Milk. Coffee with Almond Cream and Honey.

All day shift at China Wok.

Stopping by the house for lunch break. Jes and Ana are having their own lunch at the table. I enjoy a Grilled PB&J with them.

Black Bean and Broccoli Snacks. Oolong Tea.

Listening to NPR about the history of billboards. Also listening to the 99% Invisible podcast, the strange origin of the Teddy bear and the computer mouse.

Cara Cara Orange and Banana with Greek Yogurt.

The Super Bowl makes business for China Wok very slow for some reason. Ling and Ming are not in the back kitchen cutting meat or prepping vegetables like they usually are. Ling is really interested in playing Battleship on Game Boy.

Off work and back home. Talking with Ana briefly in her room. She's feeling better, mentally and physically, after having a couple days off from work.

Sprouted Mung Beans with Kale, Carrots, Onions, and Rice.

Finishing White Men Can't Jump (1992).

Dark Chocolate. Ginger Pear Tea.

"It's the caliber of one's cage that makes one an addict."

Lesson prepping.

Sleep 4 a.m.

---

[i] Image by me.

Saturday January 31 2015

[i]

Waking up at 10:30 a.m.

Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Apple Cider Vinegar, Maca Powder, Chia Seeds, Strawberries, and Almond Milk. Coffee with Almond Cream and Honey.

All day shift at China Wok.

Grilled PB&J. Black Bean and Broccoli Snack. Oolong Tea.

Just another day for a delivery driver.

Listening to another Invisibilia podcast about entanglement...

http://www.npr.org/programs/invisibilia/382451600/entanglement?showDate=2015-01-30

Cara Cara Orange and Banana with Greek Yogurt.

Working out a silly rap about my job.

"China boy, China boy

Can’t you see?

Sometimes your egg rolls hypnotize me

And I just love your speedy ways

I guess that's why I want you in my lane"

Snacking on Corn Flax Tortilla Chips.

Off work and back home.

Fried Shrimp with Broccoli, Onions, Carrots, and Rice in Garlic Sauce.

Watching White Men Can't Jump (1992).

Sleep 3:30 a.m.

---

[i] From White Men Can't Jump (1992).

Friday January 30 2015

[i]

Waking up at 10:30 a.m.

Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maca Powder, Maple Syrup, Chia Seeds, Strawberries, and Almond Milk. Coffee with Honey.

Walking out to the door for work... "Peace, love, and not war," I say as my last spoken words to Anthony, at least for the next half a year or so.

"Make it happen Cap'n!" he says back.

All day shift at China Wok.

Banana.

It's kind of slow for deliveries in the afternoon.

Scrambled Eggs. Toast. Flax Corn Tortilla Chips with Avocado and Hummus. Oolong Tea.

On the longer delivery drives I continue enjoying Invisibilia, a fairly new podcast from NPR that focuses on invisible forces that shape human behavior. Listening to an episode on fear and how different life would be without it.

http://www.npr.org/programs/invisibilia/377515477/fearless?showDate=2015-01-16

Art comes in to help with the dinner rush. It's been a couple years since he's come to work at China Wok.

Cara Cara Orange with Greek Yogurt.

Discovering a new sub-culture of country hip-hop artists: Slumerican.

Back home and off work.

Kevin, Ana, and Whitney are watching the infamous Interview (2014) movie on the big screen. I retreat upstairs to eat my dinner and have alone time.

Broccoli, Onions, Almond, and Rice.

Watching The Lookalike (2014).

27 degrees and 20mph winds make me feel grateful to have a roof over my head.

Ginger Pear Tea.

Sleep 4 a.m.

---

[i] Photo by me. Drawing unknown.

Thursday January 29 2015

[i]

Waking up at 11:45 a.m.

Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maca Powder, Maple Syrup, Chia Seeds, Strawberries, Blueberries, Apple Rings, Apple Cider Vinegar, and Almond Milk. Coffee with Coconut Creamer.

General chores.

Working out at The Escape – running a couple miles.

Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Butter and Jam. Flax Corn Tortilla Chips with Hummus. Dark Chocolate. Oolong Tea.

Teaching lessons at Music Makers. Then, to Jackie Vu's house for a private piano lesson. She just purchased an old upright piano from the 1930's and wanted me to check it out.

Scooping up Ana, Anthony, and Rachel from the house and heading to Norfolk for the rock show at The Parlor on Granby. Eating leftover Mung Beans with Broccoli. I'm performing bass in Elliott's band, You're Jovian – my first time playing in his music project – we're a simple three-piece this evening. Downing a couple Bold Rock Hard Ciders. I hardly ever drink but last night and tonight, for the sake of being in a highly stimulating social setting, I drink. It's also Suburban Living's record release show. They put on a stellar set.

Pizza after party at The Blue Marlin on 25^th and Pacific Ave. Wesley says to knock twice and that the password is "Chanello's". Appropriately, a couple Chanello's Cheese Pizzas are brought to share. I enjoy a couple slices with a PBR.

Later on at 7-11...

Some guy wearing a Batman beanie is humorously in a rush to buy a box of magnum condoms. "Dun-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Batman!" he sings. "I gotta hurry. I got pussy waiting on me!"

Elliott bought a 2-liter of Pepsi that he's adamant about shaking up vigorously then tossing off the second floor...

In route to drop Rachel off at her house. Up front Ana and I are having a playful argument about chocolate.

"Are you guys having a chocolate argument?" Rachel asks.

"The Chocolate Argument," Anthony repeats the arrangement of words.

Me: "Oh my goodness, that's too good. Sounds like a school of thought or philosophy. Maybe a band name."

Back at the house. Anthony had given me a couple boxes of old writings and trinkets from his past to keep safe in my closet. He wants to take possession of them again. I pull them down.

Ana: "Robert is like your storage unit!"

Me: "It's true."

I didn't get the chance to have a personal brother-to-brother talk with Anthony as I would've liked but it was still refreshing to have his charismatic presence around. We exchange hugs goodnight.

Sleep 3:30 a.m.

---

[i] Images by me.

Wednesday January 28 2015

[i]

Waking up around 11:30 a.m.

Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maca Powder, Maple Syrup, Chia Seeds, Blueberries, and Almond Milk. Coffee Honey.

Buying a Shop-Vac from Lowe's then sucking up standing water inside my storage unit. My hands are freezing.

Grilled PB&J. Pea Snacks. Banana. Dark Chocolate. Oolong Tea.

Watching a Ted Talk featuring a doctor who promotes a starch based diet.

Teaching lessons at Music Makers. Having some difficulty with one of my piano students who doesn't listen very well – he tends to go off on piano tangents straying from the actual lesson. No matter how many times I say, "Stop," he just keeps going. So I strike a deal allowing him the last segment of every lesson to be creative and do whatever he wants and in return he has to do whatever I want in the beginning.

Heading straight over to Elliott's house for the last You're Jovian rehearsal before the show tomorrow night. It goes over smoothly. Elliott offers me a shot of Kraken Rum. I accept.

Back home. Ana's stressed out about her face getting all red and puffy. I notice her bedroom is exceptionally hotter than the rest of the house and the air is stuffy. I recommend letting in some fresh cold air. I feel bad cause she seems frustrated about it more than usual.

I cook us a hearty spaghetti dinner using Quinoa Brown Rice Pasta, Shitake Mushrooms, Onions, Green Peppers, and Tomato Basil Sauce along with a Mixed Greens Salad with Tomatoes and Carrots.

Afterwards, Ana and I join the mini reunion at The Office. James Graves, Anthony, and Richie are in town for a couple days. This bar is a perfect hole-in-the-wall staple of Virginia Beach with a deer mount on the wall complete with its hooves too. Most of the gang is here minus Josh and Darren, but plus Rachel Rephan, Rusty, Clinton, and Steven. A round of Jell-O shots and Jameson shots shared with Ana keep us fueled for a while. In the bathroom with Anthony discussing the latest flicks we've seen while I take a leak. A quick dance session with Ana by the pool tables. It's good to see James and Anthony – my heart melts a little just being in their presence.

Moving along to Rick's Café for more camaraderie. Kevin couldn't join cause he's got a new 9-to-5 job and he needs his sleep. "I'm legitimately exhausted!" he explained earlier. Ordering a Chocolate Chip Brownie a la mode in hopes people would help out. Anthony keeps dipping chicken legs and hush puppies into the whipped cream.

Back home with Anthony, James, Rachel, and Ana. General shenanigans ensue including unlocking Kevin's door while he's asleep. Nobody has the chance to enter before we hear him storm up from his bed and slam the door so loud it knocks over the Jesus picture off the wall and the smoke alarm drops from the ceiling.

Anthony texts me while I'm settling in for the night, "Hanging out with you guys tonight was like a fruit striped altoid from the planet hot fry." 

Sleep 4 a.m.

---

[i] Images by me.

Tuesday January 27 2015

[i]

Waking up at 11:09 a.m. There's a thin layer of snow on the ground. First snow of the season.

Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maca Powder, Maple Syrup, Chia Seeds, Blueberries, and Almond Milk. Coffee with Coconut Creamer.

Reading an interesting article about how multitasking is harmful to brain.

http://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/jan/18/modern-world-bad-for-brain-daniel-j-levitin-organized-mind-information-overload

"Just having the opportunity to multitask is detrimental to cognitive performance. Glenn Wilson, former visiting professor of psychology at Gresham College, London, calls it info-mania. His research found that being in a situation where you are trying to concentrate on a task, and an email is sitting unread in your inbox, can reduce your effective IQ by 10 points. And although people ascribe many benefits to marijuana, including enhanced creativity and reduced pain and stress, it is well documented that its chief ingredient, cannabinol, activates dedicated cannabinol receptors in the brain and interferes profoundly with memory and with our ability to concentrate on several things at once. Wilson showed that the cognitive losses from multitasking are even greater than the cognitive losses from pot-smoking."

Grocery shopping at the Asian market and Trader Joe's.

Banana.

Light workout in the living room.

Scrambled Eggs. PB&J Oat and Almond Biscuits. Tomatoes. Green Pea Snacks. Oolong Tea.

Teaching lessons at Music Makers.

At the Rec for adult basketball. It feels good to burn the cardio.

Back home. Ana cooks a pot of Sprouted Mung Beans. I cook a Bamboo/Jasmine Rice mix, Snow Pea Leaves, and Shitake Mushrooms to go with. Setting up the wooden card table in the living room and putting on The Guest (2014). I've already seen this movie but I thought she'd appreciate the style of the film. I pause the movie somewhere midway through and bring down a tub of Greek Yogurt to mix in with a Navel Orange. Ana gets all weird about eating chocolate – goes and grabs a bag of chocolate chips from her pantry even though I offered her some of my dark chocolate.

While I'm doing the dishes Kevin hobbles in after a night of drinking but he doesn't appear belligerent drunk, just enough to spill some ice cubes on the floor while filling up his traditional glass of water. Yesterday was his first day at his new Haynes job – he seems to be liking it...for now. Upstairs, in the hallway Kevin tries to impose himself into my room. I playfully use the stool to shield myself and shoo him away. No matter what I try it never works. Then he attempts to de-pants me only to realize I'm not wearing any underwear. He runs off in disgust. Mission accomplished.

Discovering Ana managed to get a huge smudge of chocolate right in between her breasts.

Me: "How in the world did that happen?"

Ana: "I don't know!"

Embarrassed she smiles real big. 

Me: "I can lick that off for you if you want."

Lounging in her bed we do a little bumpin' and grindin'.

Settling down in my room. Rehearsing some You're Jovian bass lines then I'm off to sleep at 3 a.m.

---

[i] Image by me.

Monday January 26 2015

[i]

Waking up at noon. Had to catch up on sleep.

Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maca Powder, Maple Syrup, Chia Seeds, Blueberries, and Almond Milk. Coffee with Honey.

Running a couple miles at The Escape.

Grilled PB&J. Banana. Cara Cara Orange with Greek Yogurt. Oolong Tea.

Teaching lessons at Music Makers.

Back home. I was expecting China Wok to call me in since Kevin doesn't work there anymore but no call. Instead I catch up on some business.

Later on, Ana arrives home from working out. Earlier, she locked her keys in the car and had to retrieve her spare from me, which I keep in my car, putting a kink in her day. I cook up a paleo dinner for us (not that we're paleo or anything): Seared Tuna Steaks with Broccoli, Cauliflower, Carrots, and Onions. Tristan Stewart appears before our very eyes, back from England and relocating to New Mexico. Every now and then he visits 1435. It's good to see him. I miss his smart remarks and one-liners. He joins us at the diner booth for dinner.

Movie Monday is happening for real this time. I put on a bunch of trailer options for everyone (Whitney, Ana, Kevin, Tristan, and I). We come to a democratic vote on St. Vincent (2014), a light-hearted comedy/drama starring Bill Murray and Naomi Watts. Sharing Pu-erh Tea and Popcorn.

Before Tristan takes off Ana says to him, "It was nice seeing you."

"I get that a lot," he says back.

Tucking Ana into her bed. She begs for multiple "last hugs and kisses".

Me: "Why are you so cute?"

Sleep 3 a.m.

---

[i] Images by me.

Sunday January 25 2015

[i]

Waking up around 10:20 a.m.

I brew a pot of Coffee for mom and I. I take her to Duck Donuts to enjoy a guilty pleasure breakfast. She'd never been here before. We indulge in the hot and moist cake-like donuts together.

Earlier, we exchanged cards/notes. I composed a long letter that filled up both sides of a handmade card Ana designed.

"I became a man because you helped me grow into a man. My mother's love (your love) gave me (and still gives me) life inside."

"I am so proud of the man you have become and thankful that I have been a part of that. My love for you grows deeper and richer as the days go on.”

It's been a wonderful gift to have her around these past few weeks sharing wonderful food, music, and laughs. I keep pressing her to start making plans to move back up here to Virginia Beach so we can be close to one another. We'll see about that. There's still unfinished business in Florida with her house and such. I'm really glad she got to meet and become friends with Ana too. She had this to say about her, "She is a beautiful person and brings joy to those around her and I can see she adds so much to your life. Treat her well always as she is a treasure."

I head off to work my full day shift at China Wok.

Cara Cara Orange.

Later on, mom stops by with my cousin, Deb, who has kindly offered to give her a ride to the airport to catch her flight back home to Florida. I make mom a small bowl of vegetable soup. I go ahead and eat this big salad I brought consisting of Spinach, Mixed Greens, Beets, Almond, Cranberries, Carrots, and Greek Yogurt Dill Dressing. After a while of talking at the table they take off and I say my goodbyes to mom – sharing a heavy warm mom-hug. Can't ever get enough of those.

The day continues and so do the deliveries. For some reason I start thinking what it would feel like when my mom passes away, whenever that day comes. She's pretty healthy so I can't imagine it being anytime soon. But it's such a distressing thought to imagine my life without access to her. She was my world growing up and now is one of my best friends. We share such an indelible bond it would be devastating to lose her. I don't even want to think about it. But the realness of that feeling hits me.

Banana.

Listening to a truly enriching podcast called Invisibilia, an episode called "The Secret History of Thoughts".

"Automatic negative thoughts. What's interesting about the automatic thought - and this is true of everybody - is that people tend to accept them at their face value. And they don't look for alternative explanations or for what evidence is behind them. Don't trust the thought. Challenge the thought. To test out to see whether they're really true. And what he found was that when his patients contradicted their negative thoughts...the patient started to get better, sooner."

"The essential thing for humans to learn is that they are not their thoughts and more importantly they're not the little voice that tells them the thoughts... that voice that provides a running commentary on life and the world around us is NOT who we are."

Off work and back home at a decent hour for once.

Black Beans (made lovingly by Ana), Broccoli, Onions, and Rice.

Watching Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (2011).

Brief talks with Ana before I tuck her into bed.

Settling in. Sleep 3:30 a.m.

---

[i] Image by me.

Saturday January 24 2015

[i]

Waking up at 10:08 a.m.

Sharing the usual Oatmeal with my mom. Ana makes her own cause she likes to drop tons of cacao in the pot.

Me: "It's an oatmeal cook-off."

All day shift at China Wok.

I had what seems like a longer than usual break from the restaurant. It's been six days. Kevin has officially resigned as a delivery driver so now it's all on me to pick up on the chores.

Banana. Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies.

I stop by the house for a quick lunch to grab. Ana walks in almost immediately after. I slap her on the ass significantly hard.

"Whenever I get frustrated I treat your bum like stress balls," I tell her.

"Stress buns!" she exclaims.

"Exactly!"

Scrambled Eggs. Green Pea Snack. Oolong Tea.

It's exceptionally busy for a Sunday. Raking in a few generous tips and dealing with a few stiffs.

Honey Crisp Apple.

I had a couple deliveries to Taureau Court so I decide to pick up my mom from the house. I can see it on her face that she's a bit heavy with some mixed emotions. She saw a lot of old friends in one day. Just being here for the past couple weeks has been more than just nostalgic for her. There's been gossip and rumors stirring up over her personal life. I try to be encouraging to her cause I know how hard it is to deal with other people's judgment.

Me: "You just need to be strong in who you are. We're always changing. It doesn't matter what anybody else says."

I end up delivering later than I would prefer. Finally off work shortly after 11:30 p.m. I brought mom a special soup from China Wok. I chow down on my Fried Shrimp with Broccoli, Carrots, Onions, and Garlic Sauce.

Settling down. Composing a belated Christmas card to give my mom in a morning.

Sleep 3:30 a.m.

---

[i] Kiyoshi Awazu.

Friday January 23 2015

[i]

Waking up at 9:50 a.m.

I've got to go to court for a "following too closely" citation I received a couple months ago when I was involved in a multiple vehicle collision. The whole thing is bonkers cause I was rear-ended by a car and pushed into a car in front of me. But the officer on the scene issued the driver behind me and myself this citation.

Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maca Powder, Maple Syrup, Chia Seeds, Strawberries, and Almond Milk. Coffee with Coconut Creamer.

I sit down in courtroom B for a whole hour watching other traffic offenders go up to the bench and hope the judge has leniency. Unfortunately, when I get called up my officer requests a continuance so he can bring in the other drivers, which aren't present. I was really hoping to resolve this today. I even had all the evidence and documents to prove my case.

Stopping by the thrift store off General Booth on the way home.

Cara Cara Orange.

When I get home I discover one of my glass water jugs spontaneously combusted. It was sitting on top of my food shelf. I don't understand how this happened. Water spilled right onto my new mattress and into the shelf soaking some of my boxes. I clean it up the best I can.

Banana.

Mom arrives home from spending more time with uncle Kenny. Sharing a Chic Pea Salad Sandwich with Tomato and Falafel Chips with Hummus.

Continuing the process of cleaning the water spill area.

My mom goes off to attend a funeral for a close friend's mother. Meanwhile, Ana just clobbered down half a container of peanut butter. I give her a hard time about it and break down all the servings she ate based on the nutrition facts.

Me: "According to this you just ingested 1400 calories of peanut butter!"

She got distracted while talking to her mom on the phone and kept dipping spoon after spoon.

Ana and I drive to the Great Neck Rec for a good workout and basketball. While on the sit-down ellipticals side by side we laugh at each other when the speed picks up.

"Sleep is more important than sex," Ana spouts out.

Me: "Yeah, life is too busy for sex."

We're both kind of half joking.

Upon further reflection, "Look at us – we're a bunch of lameoids!"

Back home. I cook up hearty bowls of Cauliflower, Broccoli, Carrots, Scallions, and English Peas. With Ana and mom enjoying our dinner together. For dessert is Pineapple dipped in Greek Yogurt.

After cleaning up Ana immediately starts baking her version of chocolate chip oatmeal cookies while I run up and down the stairs doing laundry and then making almond milk.

My mom points out, "Man, you guys are like busy bees!"

Me: "Yup, this is our lives all the time. We're constantly doing things."

I pull out an old Carroms board I used to play when I was a kid. I played this game all the time in the after-school program. It's like a dumbed down version of pool. Mom and I duke it out and have a good time.

After snapping a photo of Ana stretching by the diner booth I realize how photogenic the house is.

Pu-erh Tea.

Sleep 2:45 a.m.

---

[i] Images by me.

Thursday January 22 2015

[i]

Waking up at 10:30 a.m.

Sharing breakfast with mom. Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maca Powder, Maple Syrup, Chia Seeds, Strawberries, and Almond Milk. Coffee with Cream and Honey.

Taking my mom to the Atlantic Garden Center. Our goal today is to transplant all my houseplants into proper pots. We spend a substantial time deciding on the right ones. Meanwhile, the nursery cats roam about like mini tigers rolling their backs on the cement and hiding behind trees.

Chic Pea Salad Sandwich with Tomato. Falafel Chips with Hummus. Oolong Tea.

Teaching lessons at Music Makers. One of my newer piano students, Billy, is 8 years old and professes to be a good cook. He talks about himself, "I cook a lot of fancy things...stir-fry vegetables, pineapple lamb..." He's a smart cookie but not too full of himself – listens really well and improvement in his piano technique is showing immediately.

At the Rec playing adult basketball. It's a rough game night but a satisfying one. Whenever I get the ball and dish it in the hoop they yell, "Mac Book!" My nickname will never die. Once you get named on the basketball court you can't reverse your identity.

Ana and I warm up leftovers and enjoy dinner at the table with my mom. Lentil Cardamom with Rice, Kale, and Broccoli. Ana whipped up three servings of Chocolate Avocado Banana Pudding for the three of us. Mom shares her day, which she spent with her friend Wanda. Time just keeps dwindling. Before you know it my mom will be back in Bartow and life will continue. I truly hope some day she can move up here so we can be close to each other. It's important to me that we stay close.

Cleaning up downstairs and placing the plants in their respective spots.

Sleep 3 a.m.

---

[i] Image by me.

Wednesday January 21 2015

[i]

Waking up at 10:45 a.m.

Ana texts me, "Robert, I love you so much. I'm so lucky. We're so lucky. I feel so fortunate to have you in my life. You've effected me in so many good ways."

Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maca Powder, Maple Syrup, Chia Seeds, Strawberries, and Almond Milk. Coffee with Cream and Honey.

Chores.

Shooting a good round of basketball at the Seatack Rec.

Grilled PB&J. Plantain Chips. Oolong Tea.

Watching Fury (2014).

Giving lessons at Music Makers. Continuing to see improvement in my piano students. It's nice to see my teacher skills in action.

Immediately, I have to drive over to Elliott's at the beach for a full band You're Jovian rehearsal. As soon as I arrive I strap on the bass and rock out. My life is in full motion. Elliott expresses his gratitude for me helping him out for this upcoming show. We've been good friends for a long time now and that's what friends who are musicians do for each other.

Back home. It's rush hour downstairs as Kevin, Ana, my mom, and I crowd the kitchen. Kevin's pan frying chicken and making a gargantuan salad, enough to feed ten vegetarians. Meanwhile, I cook Chicken with Choy sum, Carrots, Onions, and Bamboo Rice. Sharing dinner at the table with Ana and mom. Our taste buds and bellies are satisfied.

Ana's terribly sleepy so she goes off to bed. She's been generous enough to offer my mom her bed these past few weeks.

I hang around at the diner booth talking with my mom about uncle Kenny's dementia while she sews one of Ana's jackets. We have plans tomorrow to repot all the plants in my house. So I gather all of them – we assess what kind of pots we'll need to get from the nursery.

Mom: "I love Ana. You guys are just so cool together."

Sleep 3 a.m.

---

[i] From Fury (2014).

Tuesday January 20 2015

[i]

Waking up at 11:19 a.m.

Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maca Powder, Maple Syrup, Chia Seeds, Strawberries, and Almond Milk. Coffee with Cream and Honey.

Running a couple miles at The Escape.

Assessing the water damage at the storage unit.

Grilled PB&J. Cacao Almond Meal Cookies. Baked Potato Chips. Oolong Tea.

Watching The Judge (2014).

Teaching lessons at Music Makers.

Cara Cara Orange.

Meanwhile, Ana makes a to-go dinner dish. I scoop her up from the house and we go to Portsmouth to visit with my great-uncle Kenny. My mom's already been over here all day spending as much time as she can with him. Sharing Ana's incredible Black Bean, Quinoa, Kale Bake. Taking the time to look through a couple photo albums – showing Ana the old family photos. I escort her around the house to explore the creaky halls and drafty bedrooms of the old Markham house. In one of the rooms we discover a small perfume bottle that appears permanently attached to the dresser. No matter how hard you try it doesn't budge. It's assumed to belong to my mom's grandmother. It's also assumed that maybe her grandmother's spirit doesn't want it removed – she's not ready to let that go. There are cassette tapes and 8-tracks scattered about in cabinets and bookshelves, some with recordings of the Markham band and others with religious recordings from the likes of Oral Roberts and spiritualist Rev. Jordan. Ana immediately recognizes the heaviness in these rooms, the energies, and the memories and life that used to reside here.  

After all that, we sit down with Kenny and sing a bunch of songs. I lead us on guitar – Ana and I singing our usual covers – mom singing too and even Kenny chimes in with a bass voice. It's a fun time. I know Kenny appreciates all of this. It's great being here with my mom cause she's my only link to Kenny and to that generation before her.

On the drive back to Virginia Beach Ana reads aloud things from an 80's health food book we found and a aura psychology folder.

Settling in at home. Sleep 3:30 a.m.

---

[i] Images by me.