Tuesday September 10 2013

[i]

Waking up just before 2 p.m.

Plain Bagel with Cream Cheese. Orange Juice.

Watching Dead Man Down (2013).

Kofi's here noodling on the piano. He just quit his job and has obtained a sense of freedom.

Errands – getting my glass frames adjusted – groceries at Kroger. I run into Joe, an old guy I deliver to at the Russell House. He's there in an electronic wheel chair, curly white handlebar mustache, and comforting smile.

Him: "I know I never tipped you well but I always made sure to take care of you. It's the poor people that appreciate you the most."

Peaches.

It's about 5 p.m. Attempting to record drums at the storage unit but of course there's a thrash band practicing two units down from me. My mics will pick up their noise so it's not possible to record right now.

Trail Mix. Lentil Potato Curls. Honey Green Tea.

Back at the house. Bobby, a Bulgarian couch surfer has arrived and meets the resident impersonators, Richie, Mike Fry, and Kofi. I take Kofi with me to the basketball courts. Street ball is happening just like yesterday. This time I get to play. With 2 good shots and maybe 4 steals I feel satisfied with my appearance in the game. I get associated with Steve Nash.

Back to the storage unit but to my dismay the power is out in our section of units. I get angry and frustrated. It seems like anything I want to do here in music I can't do. I'm limited. I hate this! Technically we're only allowed to make noise between 5pm and 10ishpm. I feel defeated.

Kofi cooked a big batch of Ramen Noodles for the house. I snag a bowl and add Egg, Baby Broccoli, and Carrots.

Watching Disconnect (2012).

Mike Fry: "Are you about to go ridin'??"

Me: "Yeah. I'm a night rider."

...

Shooting down Laskin past the sweet smells from The Sugar Plum Bakery – going south on the boardwalk in speedy bursts passing the resourceful homeless lying on the benches with umbrellas to ward off the wind/sand in the middle of the night – at Grommet Island then back the way I came. I love this feeling of fresh salt air whooshing by my face entering my lungs and out again.

Back home. Richie has gone mad, so to speak, with paint stained on his red-checkered shorts and a new incomprehensible mural on the wall. Sasha sits nearby and paints on his face. I brought home bags of bagels from the dumpster across the street. This will be my breakfast for at least two weeks.

Honey Bunches of Oats with Brown Sugar and Milk.

Finishing the Disconnect movie. Emotional and thought provoking. Hit me straight in the gut. A Jónsi song comes on at the end credits. I miss this kind of earthy pop music. Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Sleep just before 5 a.m.

---

[i] Jónsi. Image not mine.

Monday September 9 2013

[i]

Waking up around 1 p.m.

Cantaloupe. Hot Cinnamon Oat Bran with Brown Sugar, Strawberries, and Milk.

Watching The Place Beyond the Pines (2012).

Grilled Cheese with Tomato and Hummus. Pretzel Slims with Hummus. Honey Green Tea.

Basic exercising.

To the basketball courts. Every Monday the hardcore ballers take over. You've got the blacks, the Dominicans, and the rare white guy. An argument bursts out after almost every play. I just practice on my own as a bystander. I try to get in on a game but there's too many others waiting.

Back at the house. Sasha Rigney is officially moving into Josh's room. She's cooking some beans and brown rice on the stove. I offer some of my dinner preparations in exchange for some rice.

Salmon, Baby Broccoli, Onions, Mushrooms, Carrots, and Brown Rice.

To the storage unit. Tracking drums for The Vaginasaurs.

Making Chocolate Chip Cookies. Eating five of them with Milk. Sharing the rest with Kevin and the house.

Chores.

Editing drums on Ableton.

Sleep at a late ungodly hour.

---

[i] RUNWITHTHEGOLDENWOLF.TUMBLR.

Sunday September 8 2013

[i]

Alarm goes off at 11:18 a.m. Ana's half naked beside me in the bed. She caresses my chest carefully.

Cantaloupe. White Peach.

All day shift at China Wok.

PB&J. Lentil Potato Curls. Raspberry Lemonade.

Another beautiful sunny day. Who knows when these kinds of days will stop. Fall is upon us.

Kinder Chocolate.

Football season is in full force. The tips are generous.

Apple.

Everything inside of me is dragging across the floor to the car, to the customer's door, to the restaurant. I feel lethargic and without motivation. Just ready for this work weekend to be over.

Tofu with Broccoli, Carrots, Onions, and Rice in Garlic Sauce.

Finishing World War Z (2013). Fun. Thrilling. But zombie movies are overrated.

All I want to do is veg out. I stay in my room and sip on a Bud Light. Starting to watch The Place Beyond the Pines (2012).

Sleep 4 a.m.

---

[i] OutRun. Lee Vidal.

Saturday September 7 2013

[i]

☼ ○ ▬

Traveling on state roads through the Midwest. I come across a huge mall center of a spectacular kind. Apparently, it's known for it's obnoxiously tall halls and mile stretches of stores. I park my car and follow a crowd inside. I spot posters for upcoming movies. It's taking forever to get to the entrance for the theater. In the men's room I take a piss. As I'm exiting the bathroom a black dude is mimicking boxing swings as he leaves the stall. He accidentally, but then intentionally, starts hitting my back in an intimidating playful manner. Later, outside in the parking lot. I'm napping in the backseat of my car. The windows are down. A group of rowdy agro black dudes, including the boxing guy from the bathroom, approach their car next to mine. With my eyes half shut I watch one of them reach their hands in and steal my phone. Immediately I hop out and react.

Me: "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

On edge. Stressed, as I've never been before. They run off. But the front door to their black Charger is open and the car is running. So I get in and drive circles in the parking lot. I pull up near the entrance to the mall where there seems to be a lot of commotion with the cops but unrelated to my situation. Cracking the window I demand the guys return my phone in exchange for their car back. Eventually the youngest of the hoodlums hands my phone back to me. I try to inspect it under the dome light but it's too dark. I get out and offer the keys to their car. Everything still feels uncomfortable but I have my phone. I laugh it off and give the youngest one some dap, knocking our fists together. It feels like it was just one big joke we played on each other. It was just a game.

Me: "That was funny."

His sentiment is the same.

Me: "People just can't take that shit personally. Alright. Peace out."

They head off into the mall and I walk back to my car. I check my phone and to my dismay it's not my phone that was returned to me. That piece of shit switched it out with a lower grade model, something called SkyStar. How did I not notice this earlier? Those bastards! I flicker my eyes quickly to wake up and escape this nightmare.

▬ ○ ☼

Waking up at 11:08 a.m.

Plain Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese. Orange Juice. White Peaches.

All day shift at China Wok.

Typically slow for a bright sunny afternoon.

PB&J and ½. Lentil Curls. Honey Green Tea.

Sometimes I feel everything I do, everything I say, the whole image I portray, is all just plumage, not only for the woman, but for the whole world. As Thomas Parke D'Invilliers once said...

"Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;

            If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,

Till she cry 'Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,

            I must have you!'"

Kevin shows up to help with the dinner shift.

This past week I observed him hanging out with this girl that he likes, "I see your still hanging out with Jessica."

He smiles half-embarrassed, "Yeah. She's got me on a leash."

Me: "Don't you just love girls? They keep you on a leash and then dispose of you whenever they want. She keeps you around because she knows that you like her. It makes her feel validated as a human being."

Ana shows up with an hour left in my shift. Riding around with me of course she's unfortunate enough to listen to my rants for the day.

Me: "Minutes matter to you but miles matter to me!"

Sitting down at the restaurant and enjoying dinner together: Vegetable Moo Shu with Broccoli.

Back home. Ana whips up a Strawberry Chocolate Coconut Cupcake recipe in the kitchen. Meanwhile, James Graves and I take advantage of a night ride on our bikes to the beach. It's exceptionally colder than usual. A small jacket could do but we pretend to hold onto summer by wearing our shorts and t-shirts. Running into Brent, an old friend of my mom's, at the Ocean Palms Motel. He's got a flood light out shining the rims on his car. He wants me to inspect this electric guitar he just bought.

...

Back at the house. Ana finished making the cupcakes but with a tad bit disappointment as the strawberry frosting didn't turn out the way she wanted. The three of us indulge at the table with some Milk.

In my room. Ana and I lie down together. It's warm in here but not unbearable. The thin blue sheet covers our half-naked selves. I implore her to caress my chest. She does so carefully and intimately. I feel calm. I feel so comfortable. Eventually this leads to more intimate things. It's been a while since we had sex. It's important that we do this.

Sleep around 4 a.m.

---

[i] Chemistry. Process Recess. James Jean.

Friday September 6 2013

[i]

Alarm goes off at 11:05 a.m.

Sub-par Watermelon.

All day shift at China Wok.

Last night while I was at the storage unit I got a missed call from Margot, my ex-girlfriend. I recall seeing it and feeling a lump form in my throat but I don't know why. She only called once though. It wasn't followed by multiple calls or any texts. I figured I should text her today what's up.

Me: "Did you call me yesterday?"

Her: "Yes. Why don't you have my number still?"

Me: "I do still have your number. I just didn't get a missed call notification cause I don't get good reception at the storage unit."

Her: "Then how did you know I called?"

Me: "Cause I saw it in my missed calls list! Anyway...what's up?"

Her: "Well I had gone to poons and our hostess said she rain into my ex bfs roommate and I was like ughhhh. Then on my way to my mans house a Tokyo song came on and I was like fuck it I should call him and tell him about it. I was kinda drunk though so good thing you didn't answer haha."

Yes. Good thing. "my mans house..." Well at least I'm in the clear; she's seeing someone so I feel a little safer communicating with her.

Me: "Haha. Well the universe we live in is small."

Her: "Well yeah. That's it. We should get lunch soon doe."

Me: "Is it normal that I feel nervous about seeing you? I feel like I haven't really seen you in a looooong time."

Her: "I don't feel nervous but I guess it's normal. But yeah it has been a long time I guess."

...

I've imagined running into her, which I have on occasion but only via passing cars on the road. But for some reason I think I would melt a little if I did see her. It's the same melting feeling I would feel when/if I ever saw Aysena again too, or even Kristin. It's just because I have an emotional history with these girls. So it's nothing to over analyze.

She was having lunch with a friend across the way at Bangkok Garden and stops by to visit for a few minutes. There she is with a bright face. We exchange a hug. I'm not as nervous as I thought I'd be. It's just like seeing an old friend.

Today is super, super slow.

Five Guys French Fries with Ketchup. Honey Green Tea.

Chocolate Coconut Water.

The day continues into the night and the orders pick up. I get mostly $2 tips, which are unacceptable in my eyes. But every now and then I get a string of $5 to $10 tips to which I am grateful.

Apple and Trail Mix.

Ling gives me a little of a Chicken and Broccoli order that a customer ordered and cancelled on.

It's after 10 p.m. but it's only a tease that I would go home at a decent hour. Two orders to "the Bane of society" (Darren's words) that turn out to be stiffs. But then two orders to "the angels of society" that offer redemption tips.

Shrimp Egg Roll.

Off work.

Riding my bike to the beach. Stop at Harris Teeter for milk and peaches.

Honey Bunches of Oats with Brown Sugar and Milk.

Watching World War Z (2013).

Sleep around 4 a.m.

---

[i] Pery Burge.

Thursday September 5 2013

[i]

Waking up around 1:30 p.m.

Blueberry Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese. Orange Juice.

Finishing Lawless (2012).

Research.

Playing basketball at the Rec Center. A little 1-on-1 with a 14-year old kid. He beats me 11 to 10. He had some killer jump shots.

Tomato and Hummus Sandwich. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea.

At the storage unit working on drum recordings. Spending a great deal of time tweaking and setting things up on Ableton before I actually track drums.

Udon Noodle Soup with Carrots, Mushrooms, and an Egg.

Watching The Constant Gardner (2005).

Taking a night bike ride, something I hope to implement as a daily activity or at least every other day. Zipping down the strip witnessing the club goers stumbling out of the bars. On the boardwalk letting the northern winds push me south all the way to 1^st Street then struggling against it on the return.

Honey Bunches of Oats with Brown Sugar and Milk.

Research.

Sleep 4:30 a.m.

---

[i] Photo of Guy Pearce in Lawless.

Wednesday September 4 2013

[i]

Waking up super late, just before 2 p.m.

Plain Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese. Orange Juice.

A few texts from Ana...

Her: "I enjoyed sharing all the positive energy that was in the air at your house! The night with you was bursting with goodness! I feel closer to you. :)"

I'm trying hard to not let this connection with her become another failed relationship experiment. I do believe in seasons in most all things but I can't lie to myself when I do believe that I strive for a relationship that will persevere through the seasons. There are so many beautiful and pleasing qualities to Ana, so many that I can't let this go to waste. She understands what it is to be patient and empathetic. I still feel like I'm testing things out with her – trying to understand her view on the world and how it can coincide with my view, cause that's important.

At the Rec Center shooting some hoops.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea.

At the storage unit fiddling with recording drums – coming across a few minor problems that I have to spend time figuring out before I can move on to actually tracking the drums.

I have a strong urge to take my bike for a spin. Leslie hit me up. It's always good to have a destination when riding cause it keeps the exercise disciplined so I take the 30-minute trip down the boulevard and up the dark roads in Little Neck. It's quiet in her house. Haven't been here in a while. I remember I hadn't eaten dinner yet and their fridge is always stocked. Enjoying a small Salad with leftover Chicken, Peanut, and Rice dish. Her and I go for a walk around the neighborhood getting into deep talk about history (prohibition, the holocaust) and whatever else seems clever to discuss.

...

Leslie: "Be safe!"

Me: "I'm gonna be wild instead."

On my night ride back home. The temperature is perfect – the air...fresh – the music holding me steadfast in a dreamy state. 

Honey Bunches of Oats with Brown Sugar and Milk.

Watching Lawless (2012).

Sleep sometime around 4 a.m.

---

[i] Image by me.

Tuesday September 3 2013

[i]

☼ ○ ▬

I've been placed into a virtual reality game. Everything feels realistic, like I'm actually standing there on the game map. I climb up the stairs to the entrance of a futuristic type building. As a trick the automatic glass doors keep opening and then shutting as soon as I try to enter through them. Eventually a Silver Surfer looking woman appears, her role being to escort me through the game. The upper half of her body resembles a human and she's fairly attractive. We stand there in position face to face waiting to be teleported. I get the wild idea of convincing her that I could free her from the game.

Me: "Do you want out?"

Her: "What?"

Me: "Of this game?"

She has a puzzled but curious look on her face.

Further I say, "If you had a choice would you choose to leave?"

Her: "Hm. No one's ever asked me that before."

I'm introduced to a monster that I have to battle: a black ten-legged pug horse, like it's head is a pug – the weirdest thing I've ever seen. I have confidence that I can beat him. After some striking moments and super-human moves he is defeated. I become the hero of the virtual world. And now I can save the cyborg woman from her virtual prison.     

▬ ○ ☼

Waking up around 1:30 p.m.

Hot Cinnamon Oat Bran with Brown Sugar, Figs, and Milk. Orange Juice.

Watching 96 Minutes (2011).

The weather outside is frightful – occasional lightening and rain. I NEED to play basketball. I decide to give in and buy a membership at the Rec Center by Cox High School cause they have a big indoor gym with parquet courts and such. It's been a long time since I've played indoors. There're plenty of guys around to keep a circulation of 4-on-4 games. After over two hours of hustling on my feet I finally go home satisfied.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich. Pineapple. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Honey Oolong Tea.

Finishing the movie.

At the storage unit I put together the three-piece drum set and configure this new audio interface I got in the mail recently. I plan on recording drum tracks for all The Vaginasaurs songs, a task that should have been completed a long time ago. Meanwhile, Ana and her friend Ally are at Wanna B's for karaoke. I stop by since it's right up the street. They're throwing darts with a cowboy. They both look like sisters with their exceptionally long hair.

Ana: "She's my blonde version!"

Later, back at the house. Sharing a late dinner with Ana.

Tilapia with Pesto, Carrots, Squash, Mushrooms, Onions, Japanese Style Rice, and a Yuengling.

Kevin joins us at the table and strikes up a conversation about observations on China Wok.

Upstairs in my bedroom. Bumbling, cuddling, and nuzzling around in the bed with Ana. She reveals to me some of her recent drawings and thoughts from her sketchbook.

...

Me: "If someone was transcribing you there'd be a lot of ellipses and pauses. I'll have to remember that when I quote you."

Sleep at a real late hour.

---

[i] Hajime Sorayama.

Monday September 2 2013

[i]

☼ ○ ▬

Elliott and I break into a youth rec center attempting to create an obstacle course with all the foursquare balls and basketballs. We hear a security officer walk in. He obviously knows something's wrong. It was just a matter of time till we got caught. We don't hide and come out to meet the officer and comply that we'll just leave.

▬ ○ ☼ ○ ▬

In Russia with a group of friends, including Ana – we're waiting at a train station. It's about to take off suddenly. In a rush I jump into the train without all my belongings. Immediately the train takes off but none of my friends (nor Ana) made it on. A harsh feeling hits my gut. This sucks. Everybody on the train is a Russian-speaking local. I find a seat up in the very front where the conductor should be. I realize after a while that the trains are being towed by helicopters high up in the air rather than locked into railroad tracks. It's kind of surreal. We land somewhere inside this great big gym. David Hasselhoff appears. He's supposed to be running this convention of some kind. He makes a few announcements at the front of the train and cracks a few small-time jokes with me. Later, in the green room, which turns out to just be the dining room in my house, I find a few gold-wrapped gifts on the table, one with some Russian girl's name and another with my ex-girlfriend Margot's name. It's understood the gifts are from Hasselhoff. He enters the room. I ask him about the Russian girl.

Me: "Tiffany is her name? Yes I met her on the train earlier!"

Hasselhoff: "Oh yeah? Did you guys have some kind of connection or something?"

I feel embarrassed and I think he's suspicious of me hitting on his current girlfriend.

Me: "No. No. Nothing like that. It was just friendly."

Then, I question why he's giving a gift to Margot.

Me: "So...were you seeing Margot?"

Reluctantly, he says, "Yeah."

Me: "Like seeing her for a few months or something?"

Hasselhoff: "Yeah."

David Hasselhoff dated my ex-girlfriend! I can' believe it.

▬ ○ ☼

Waking up stuffy and hot next to Ana. During the dreams she slipped over in the dip between the bed and the wall. I chuckle in my head and wonder if this happened at the point when I lost her on the train.

Sharing Coffee and Peanut Butter Toast.

Ana's got on this new kick of drawing with markers in a sketchbook. Of course, she's hesitant to show me her work.

Me: "Why are you so embarrassed by what you create?"

We run errands together. Dropping off recyclables. Target. Trader Joe's.

Sharing Salad, fresh Pineapple, and beer at the dining room table. Elliott and James Nee drop by. Meanwhile, Kofi and Laron are having a Black Panthers meeting in the living room.

"Power to the people!"

Outside, Elliott, James Nee, Kofi, and I join the neighborhood high school kids in a game of football in the Lutheran church parking lot. I can't even remember the last time I played football.

Ritter Sport Chocolate.

At the storage unit playing music with Josiah and Calum. We work out a few new songs with a lot of potential. I feel kind of bad because earlier I made clear to Josiah that I didn't want to go on this long trip to Illinois for the Daytrotter sessions. Besides my concerns with the trip being a strenuous 16-hour drive just for a spot on a blog site there were other personal concerns from family members. I know Josiah was really looking forward to getting away from the city and being able to spend time with guy friends. But it seems it would be in his best interest to avoid going on a trip of this caliber. 

...

Elliott and James Nee appear with snacks from Wawa. James tells us how the government now recognizes professional video gamers as athletes.

Back home. The gang discovered Kevin left his phone unattended while he went to Tapped, the bar across the street. Of course nobody in this house can pass up the opportunity to post a prank Facebook status: "Gonna be a daddy! I was shocked at first but now I couldn't be happier!" The comments and likes add up and word gets wind to his mother. Kevin Moore, the clown of our family.

Japanese Style Rice with Edamame, Carrots, Mushrooms, and Onions. Honey Oolong Tea.

Organizing music files.

Sleep around 4 a.m.

---

[i] Benjamin Fritz.

Sunday September 1 2013

[i]

Waking up at 11:30 a.m.

Raisin Pastry. Orange Juice.

All day shift at China Wok.

It's one of those days where I keep driving and driving. Racking up the miles – one order after the other. No real complaints though. I'd rather be on the road than sitting around twiddling my thumbs.

Egg Sandwich with Vegenaise and Tomato. Honey Oolong Tea.

Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. It's literally non-stop all day. One delivery after the other. No time to relax. I feel quick. I feel efficient. I feel like superman.

Kinder Chocolate.

A little rain towards the end of the shift.

Wow. What an insanely full and exhausting day. I have no complaints. How can I? With a total of 42 deliveries (over half of what I did yesterday), 150 miles, and $166.18 in tips alone (not to mention my $60 wage for the day) I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Definitely one of the top busiest days of my China Wok career.

Finally off work and back home.

I haven't seen Ana in a while. She's baking in the kitchen while I decompress in my room.

Eating Tofu with Broccoli, Carrots, Onions, and Rice in Garlic Sauce.

The couch surfers, along with everyone else, show up. Sitting around the dining room table sharing stories. Last night one of their iPhones went missing. They searched thoroughly for it this morning and nothing turned up. I made a fuss about it via mass text to all the roommates and other people who were present during last night's gathering. And magically it showed up under a couch cushion.

Lying around in the bed with Ana. I make fun of her...

Me: "You're cautious when you don't need to be and careless when you shouldn't be."

Sleep just before 4 a.m.

---

[i] Road Skirt.

Saturday August 31 2013

[i]

Waking up at 11 a.m.

Plain Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese. Orange Juice.

All day shift at China Wok.

Kofi drives up in his convertible Saab and orders a spicy beef lo mein.

Kofi: "I'm still recovering from the last plasma transfer."

My phone rings. It's Cox Communications trying to sell me a new plan. Almost immediately after the restaurant phone rings, then a customer walks in.

Me: "Dude, you could be sittin' here for ten minutes doing nothing. And then my phone rings, then that phone rings, and then people walk in. It's ridiculous. Everything happens all at once. It's like the cosmos doesn't know how to pace itself. Everything comes in waves...Everything comes in waves."

Five Guy's French Fries with Ketchup. Honey Oolong Tea.

It's extremely slow. Sooooooo slow. I guess most everybody is cooking out for Labor Day weekend. I've delivered a mere 4 orders in 4 hours.

I pull out the foursquare ball and play in the parking lot with the China Wok daughters. It's quite a workout.

I drop by the house for a minute to meet the 5 couch surfers from New York; they're napping on the couches. There's plenty of Coronas with limes in the fridge. I decide it'd be okay to chug one down before I get back to the drudge of work.

Not a very profitable day.

Back home.

Hot and Sour Soup with Fried Noodles. Broccoli, Snow Peas, and Rice.

A group just came back from the beach after seeing Sugar Ray and Eve 6 perform a free concert. Anthony and Richie were thoroughly impressed. In Josh's room, once again for another night in a row, there's loud music bursting through the speakers and banging on the walls and closet doors. Our cop neighbor apparently makes an appearance and reprimands the commotion to which he can probably hear quite clearly considering his bedroom is directly behind Josh's bedroom walls. Of course I hear all of this happening safely from my bedroom. I consider starting my own Prohibition in this madhouse, but it would probably fail and only cause more problems just like the real one did back in the 20's.

"Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise."

                                                                                    – Proverbs 20:1

I depart from the debauchery on my bike and shoot a few rounds of hoops at Linkhorn Elementary School. I needed some physical activity. I needed the blood to run through my veins. I needed the fresh night air.

The couch surfers arrive back from their own beach shenanigans. I finally get to meet a few of the faces; all hail from New York but some from France. Other miscellaneous people are here. The mattresses and blankets spread out in the living. I'm just a witness to the camaraderie.

Honey Bunches of Oats with Goat's Milk.

Sleep 4 a.m.

---

[i] Rodolfo Loaiza.

Friday August 30 2013

[i]

Waking up around 11 a.m.

Honey Bunches of Oats with Brown Sugar and Milk.

All day shift at China Wok.

It's hot, hot, hot. I can't wait until Fall.

Still enjoying the rental car for an extra day.

Peanut Butter Bagel. Goldfish Crackers. Honey Green Tea.

The day continues steadily.

Into the night. It's been a fairly profitable day.

Back home.

Fried Chicken with Carrots, Onions, Broccoli, and Rice in Garlic Sauce.

Watching Sexy Beast (2000).

There's a substantial amount of drunken commotion coming from Josh's bedroom that escalates into somewhat of a riot. His entire book collection is being thrown against the walls. BAM! BAM! BAM!

Josh and his followers repeatedly yell, "READ! READ! READ!"

I swear his dog Sophie acts more mature. I'm too old for this shit.

It's after 1 a.m. I drop off the rental car down the street and walk down Laskin Road while snacking on Kinder Chocolate to pick up my car.

Sipping on a beer.

Sleep at 4 a.m.

---

[i] Sexy Beast film still.

Thursday August 29 2013

[i]

☼ ○ ▬

I'm an underhand of the king, or totalitarian leader, of this country. There's an uprising happening outside the gates of the government's building. It's understood that a lot of us working in the government will die. We're given a packet of cards and one notepad to act as a will and last testament. The king is waiting in his quarters. There's nothing that can be done to stop the revolution. I manage to scram away to a farmhouse miles down the road. A special girl lives here. I park my car on a makeshift second story lift. She arrives on a horse. The sunlight shines just perfectly behind her face. She climbs up to where I am. We crawl together under the limbs of the tree. Her smile keeps me lost in my head – nothing else matters, even the fact that I might die after being found out doesn't even phase me. She's mine. I'm hers. We can move far, far away.

▬ ○ ☼

Alarm goes off at 11 a.m.

Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese. Orange Juice.

All day shift at China Wok.

The girls keep pestering me with questions about words in their storybooks, pointing at any and every word they don't know...

"Rob-bert! Rob-bert! What is that? Rob-bert!"

I go with a playful mood and stay evasive.

Me: "I don't know. I can't read."

The day continues steadily.

Egg Sandwich with Vegenaise and Tomato. Goldfish Crackers. Honey Green Tea.

Deliveries pick up consistently in the evening.

Kevin really likes the China Wok hat...

[ii]

Snacking on Trail Mix to tide me over till dinner.

I'm incredibly tired, more than usual at the end of a China Wok shift.

Finally home.

Tofu with Broccoli, Carrots, Onions, and Rice in Garlic Sauce.

Watching a documentary on Prohibition.

Sleep at 3:30 a.m.

---

[i] Casey Weldon.

[ii] Kevin likes the hat. Image by me.

Wednesday August 28 2013

[i]

☼ ○ ▬

Stuck waiting at an airport with friends to get on a plane to Norway. Phil found a way to clone himself. He stands together with a hypothetical twin at the same time he's sitting across the room. He takes on various characters but all still with the same mischievous face. I find a tiny black hedgehog in a shoebox. He scurries around frantically. I scoop him up in my hands and breathe hot air in his face. He seems interested. Maybe it smells like food? I let him crawl on my shoulders. He's terribly cute. 

▬ ○ ☼

Waking up at 1 p.m.

Sharing breakfast with Ana: Hot Cinnamon Oat Bran with Brown Sugar, Blueberries, and Milk. Kofi walks in with lo mein and egg rolls from China Wok.

Kofi continues to hang around – fiddling on the guitar in the living room while watching a Korean black comedy. Ana goes on a solo bike ride while I prepare lunch.

Tuna Salad Sandwiches with Tomato. Creamy Tomato Soup with Toasted Bagel Croutons. Honey Green Tea.

On the basketball courts with Kofi and Ana playing a game of 21 – shooting the ball around – silly basketball antics.

Watermelon.

At the storage unit playing music with Calum and Josiah.

Vegetable Pad Thai with Broccoli.

Watching Killing Season (2013).

Leslie comes over with heavy emotions and thoughts dealing with recent turmoil of the day. I take a seat and listen taking on the role of a counselor.

Her: "In life in general I'm not okay but I was trying to put on a face for myself saying enjoy the day or whatever."

...

Me: "I think it's really interesting how everyone has their unique ways of..."

Her: "Coping?"

Me: "Yeah."

...

Leslie: "I was realizing that on the way over here that you literally are the only person I'm willingly openly conversationally emotional with. It makes it a little bit easier to breathe in my life so thanks. Cause it's really hard to just deal with everything on your own always."

...

I grab a Heineken from the fridge and we go for a walk around the neighborhood – the rain freshly fallen on the sidewalk – the sounds of night creatures making noise in the woods nearby.

Sleep around 4 a.m.

---

[i] Baller in the Rye.

Tuesday August 27 2013

[i]

Waking up around 1 p.m.

Bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats with Milk.

Dropping my car off at a body shop. I get picked up by an Enterprise agent driving a Mini Cooper.

Me: "Oh! I've never ridden in a Cooper before."

The girl and I spark up conversation. She graduated from Ocean Lakes high school in '07.

Me: "Me too except I'm class of '02. I'm an oldie."

I'm given a silver Kia Soul for my rental, free of charge of course via the insurance company.

Watermelon.

Watching a documentary on The Prohibition.

Working out.

Eating leftover Tilapia with Garlic, Onions, Peppers, Mushrooms, Carrots, and Quinoa-Brown Rice Mix.

Basketball.

Ana comes over. Ordering a large Cheese Pizza from Chanello's. Sitting out in the parking lot eating slice after slice – taking advantage of my rental car's Sirius satellite radio and listening to the 70's station.

In Josh's bedroom with Leisa, Laron, Kevin, Richie, and Ana sharing music and Werner Herzog oddities on Youtube. Sophie runs around with the squeaky tennis ball acting bashful and playful. Richie continues painting his mural on the wall.

Ana scrammed away on her bike. I figure out what she's doing and join her on mine. We ride around the neighborhood across the street. Snagging a bunch of bagels from the dumpster on the way back.

In my room I switch all the lights off except for the blue string lights coiled around my bed and glow from the computer screen. With lounge-like electronic music in the background my hopes are to instigate sensuality between Ana and I. It's been a while to which we are both aware. Typically she keeps her distance in regards to sexual desires unless I bring it to light. But we both make the moves and a lengthy session inspires a new position that we both find pleasurable.  

...

Afterwards, lying down. She squeezes in between the wall and bed right next to the neoclassical picture of women dancing in the woods. The song "Time" by Blonds is playing on the laptop. I go on a mini thought tangent about how odd it would be if someone from a hundred years ago were to hear this song a hundred years from their time.

                                                                                    "The future scares me."

I get up and joke around, "Hey girl! You lookin' for a man? You need someone strong?"

Her: "I feel like that's said to me at least three times a week. I just laugh it off and walk away."

Sleep together around 4 a.m.

---

[i] Ana with the ladies in the jungle. Image by me.

Monday August 26 2013

[i]

Waking up just before 1 p.m.

Sesame Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese and Apple Butter. Orange Juice.

Cleaning up the mess downstairs – sweeping and other such chores. Kofi shows up with Cup of Noodles and helps me take out the trash.

Running some errands. Kofi tags along.

Watermelon.

Egg. Creamy Tomato Soup with Croutons.

It's been a week or so since I played basketball and I'm itching to get on the courts. So I head to the ones off First Colonial. A huge game is already being organized by a bunch of guys. All black or Hispanic – I'm the whitest one there. They invite me in. It's full court. 5-on-5. Too many dominating players to compete with – hardcore ballers. I pump up my defense though and rack up a lot of turnovers. It's a very popular part of America's subcultures, this hip-hop-basketball scene – always striving for the top. It becomes apparent that I just stepped into it when I entered this game. Almost immediately there's ego battles between players who are high on themselves. Nothing disrespectful but confrontational nonetheless. We win in the end. I shoot around on a court nearby with a few little kids. It's hard for me to miss. One of the boys notices and asks, "How do you do that?"

"Just keep shootin'. You just keep practicing everyday," I reply. Next court over there's a father coaching his daughter with sternness. I play two 1-on-1 games with the girl. She's obviously an aspiring high school basketball player – with decent skills and moves. While we shuffle around the dad criticizes her constantly. At this point I'm tired out and my right arm is sore so my game isn't at it's best. She wins both games by one point.

At the storage unit practicing with Josiah and Calum. Getting comfortable with the Ladada songs and doing a lot of jamming. Josiah is insistent on just jamming and coming up with new material for the Daytrotter sessions we'll be performing at next week. Classic Josiah to desire ditching already established music projects and seek new avenues.

Me: "We're not driving 15 hours to just have someone record us jamming. We can do that here!"

It's a playful debate with him and I. He just feels like the Ladada songs don't reflect where he's at right now. But art doesn't always have to reflect where the artist is at all times. The art surpasses time and deserves to be shared with other people seeking inspiration.

Back home.

Tilapia with Garlic, Onions, Peppers, Mushrooms, Carrots, and Quinoa-Brown Rice Mix.

Watching The Untouchables (1987).

Downstairs, a band from Brooklyn is lounging in the living room with Laron. They just played a show at The Shaq. Laron takes advantage of the audience and company to share anime shows on the TV.

I joke, "He's really happy you guys are here. Cause if you weren't he would still be doing the same thing, just by himself."

...

In the kitchen Kofi is attempting to bake a bunch of food he snagged from his job at The Cavalier.

I joke around, "Welcome to Kofi's Cookin'! Live, right here at 1435!"

There's no oil or butter for him to use so it's all dry baking.

"He'll teach you how to cook ANYTHING with NO OIL or BUTTER!"

Settling down in my room. Finishing the movie.

Sleep at 5 a.m.

---

[i] Ego BBall. Source unknown.

Sunday August 25 2013

[i]

☼ ○ ▬

One night Margot appears out of nowhere in my room. She's drunk and hazy. It's understood we haven't seen each other in a long time, and we really haven't. She insists on sleeping over but Ana is here. This creates a stressful situation. Meanwhile I criticize Laron for not doing his dishes. I'm yelling and freaking out, raising my voice substantially. Eventually Margot realizes she has no place here and gets picked up by her friends.

Me: "Wait, are you sure you're going to be alright?"

▬ ○ ☼

Waking up around 11:30 a.m.

All day shift at China Wok.

As soon as I arrive to the restaurant at noon we get hit with 5 orders. No time to sit and enjoy breakfast. So I pour myself a bowl of cereal (Honey Bunches of Oats) in the car, slurping it down while I drive.

Right from the start it's been busy but don't mistake that for a hefty profit. These shitty tips/stiffs are like repeated blows to the chest.

Mixed Nuts with Dried Apricots. Honey Black Tea.

The orders keep coming non-stop and the miles keep racking up. Every now and then I get a redemption tip, like $5 or $6, but they're a rarity.

Steve comes in to help with the dinner rush. We stand there waiting for orders to get expedited. Suddenly, Ling yells something in Chinese, obviously furious about something. As the situation progresses I recap the events to Steve, "Ling's mad at Ming for not listening and making the wrong food."

Then, Ling slams the container of food on the ground, fried rice and General Tso's chicken flung across the tile floor. Cecily shouts at Ling. Meanwhile, their 6-year-old daughter stands there smiling and laughing.

Me: "Now Cecily's mad at Ling for wasting the food. And the kid's just standing there laughing! Just one big happy China Wok family."

Steve: "Man, I miss this." 

All in all this day has hardly been rewarding. It's funny how I delivered more orders and drove more miles today compared to yesterday. But today I made substantially less money. Doesn't add up. Checks and balances I guess. Bullshit.

Finally I'm off work and sitting in my computer chair – the bedroom door locked – breathing in the undisturbed air.

"Ah...yes. The moment I've been waiting for," I say out loud to myself.

It's Richie's birthday. All the monkeys went to The Office and got drunk, then went to Tapped and got even more drunk. Except for the few words shared with James Graves I stay holed up in my room hearing the boisterous sounds of things breaking and bouncing off the walls.

After letting my imagination run wild and pleasure myself, I'm off to sleep at 5 a.m.

---

[i] Cetin Yildiz.

Saturday August 24 2013

[i]

Waking up at 11 a.m.

Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese. Orange Juice. Zinc (50 mg).

All day shift at China Wok.

Feeling better today, about 87% better than yesterday. Ling gives me some Tiger Balm Oil to rub on my lower tummy for the pain.

Tuna Salad Sandwich with Egg Drop Soup.

Steve, a driver that used to work here years ago, shows up. They've got him working part time shifts now.

"Steve!" I shake his hand. "I thought it was just a rumor but I guess it's true. It's been a long time."

A customer calls and uses some odd form of English, obviously taught to him by the mainstream influences of TV culture. He keeps pronouncing the number 3 like the word tree.

Me: "What's your card number?"

Him: "foh-tree-2-1-2-2-0-0-tree-tree-foh..."

Weirdo.

While driving around in the hectic Oceanfront traffic full of tourists just putt'n along in their flashy explorers and chargers I come to an understanding about society that kind of disturbs me. Everyone starts to look the same after a while. It's like a generic filter over my eyes. Even the pretty things become generic. We're just masses...sheep...a race of robots seeking out stimulation and sensations in any way we can, and when we realize we can't have real and genuine experiences we settle for the generic!

It's after 10 o'clock. After delivering an order in my neighborhood I drive by two familiar faces squatting next to the Chanticleer marsh. It's Ana and Leah. I guess they came to the house to meet up with everyone and decided to go for a walk for some girl talk. I put it in reverse and scoop them up taking them with me on the last of my deliveries. I go on a few rants related to the struggles of the day, part of it explaining how a driver shouldn't be overly cautious but also shouldn't be careless.

Ana: "Careless and cautious. That's me!"

At the restaurant. My boss cashes me out. The three of us enjoy dinner at the table.

Tofu with Broccoli, Carrots, Onions, and Rice in Garlic Sauce.

At the house. There's a huge group of people here including James, Will, Ken, Laron, and a few of the Slovakian couch surfers. Phil, Cheongah, Elliott, and Michelle show up. I rush them into my bedroom along with Ana.

Me: "I can't let the toxic air outside my room get in here for too long."

Elliott's antsy and wants to get back to the beach for Foursquare as soon as possible. Phil sets a timer for 20 minutes so we don't get stuck here too long.

...

20 minutes later we head to the boardwalk on 16^th Street. Drawing out the boundaries with chalk. The Foursquare ball we've been using for some time now has lost its original spherical shape and is now an egg shape making its bounce unpredictable. The wind is strong creating another challenge. But it's just good times and noncompetitive fun.

Back home. Decompressing while Ana reads a book in the bed. Eventually I slip in next to her – cuddling – then sleeping.

---

[i] Hiroshi Manabe.

Friday August 23 2013

[i]

I wake up at 10:45 a.m. with intention on going to work but I think I need another day to rest and heal. I knock on Kevin's room and inform him. He was already expecting the possibility because I told him last night.

Then back to sleep.

Waking up not so achy anymore but still feeling a little pressure in my lower abdomen.

Hot Cinnamon Oat Bran with Blueberries, Figs, Brown Sugar, and Milk.

Watching Virginia (2010).

I have enough motivation to repair the passenger side door handle on my car and make a trip to Trader Joe's.

Tuna Sandwich with Tomato. Creamy Tomato Soup with Croutons. Honey Green Tea.

Finishing the movie.

Researching and catching up on writing.

Ana stops by with her friend, Ashley, bearing gifts: homemade vegetable soup and vegan chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. They both lie down on the carpet and recognize their association with cat-like behavior.

Me: "Maybe you two were cats in another life."

...

We join up with Elliott and James at Rick's Café for good conversations and free lemon water. Phil and Cheongah are in town for the weekend and come a little later. Elliott gets his usual starch meal of the century: grilled cheese, tater tots, and mac 'n' cheese. James fills up on his food staple: broccoli. I'm still feeling bloated from my condition so I don't order anything.

Back home. Eating the Vegetable Soup Ana made me with a few slices of Honey Wheat Toast and Honey Ginger Tea.

Watching Quills (2000).

Sleep 3 a.m.

---

[i] Cats in my Bedroom. Image by me.

Thursday August 22 2013

[i]

Waking up just before 1 p.m. with incredible lower abdominal and bladder pain. I drank a beer before I went to bed so it's only natural I would need to pee when I wake up. But this feels different. My back hurts too.

I nourish myself with Apple Cider Vinegar Honey Tea.

Researching online.

Eventually I get around to actually eating something: Hot Cinnamon Oat Bran with Blueberries, Figs, Brown Sugar, and Milk.

I can't do anything but lie down. I'm feverish and useless.

Watching a moving and emotional documentary about the descendants of Hitler's officers called Hitler's Children (2011).

Out in the hallway Josh gives me a few droplets of Colloidal Silver to help with my immune system. Sophie, his longhaired sweet natured Chihuahua recognizes I'm sick and offers affection.

Homemade Soup with Ginger, Edamame, Mixed Vegetables, and Lo Mein Noodles.

I took some Ibuprofen earlier and now I'm feeling about 80%, good enough to join Josiah and Calum at the storage unit for practice.

Ana is kind enough to pick up some raw ginger and mineral water from the store. I'm weak as a mouse. My condition doesn't get better unless I take those pain relievers. At the house we shred ginger into a pot of boiling water to make Ginger Tea. Upstairs in my room I put on Silver Linings Playbook (2012). I already saw it a while ago but I wanted to share it with her. She sinks into the crevice where the bed meets the wall.  I snack on some Grapes and Lentil Chips. Sipping on Ginger Tea.

Me: "Thank you for keeping me company. I appreciate the moral support."

Sipping on Carbonated Mineral Water and playing a few rounds of Unreal Tournament. Then off to sleep around 3:30 a.m.

---

[i] Image by me.

Wednesday August 21 2013

[i]

☼ ○ ▬

Anthony and I are supposed to perform a play about people with curses or inner turmoil and how they prevail from it. We have to come up with a title that's original and not the same one we used last time, which had something to do with goth subculture. I propose, "Black people! That's what we should call it." I thought it was a clever title because of the blackness in people's souls hence, black people. I'm a little stressed out because we haven't even rehearsed the script so I have no idea what my lines are. "I'm not good at keeping my wits on stage, Anthony."

▬ ○ ☼

Waking up just before 1:30 p.m.

Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese.

Phone call from Darren. He moved out about three weeks ago and has been in Radford. He calls to tell me he found a job at another Chinese restaurant there.

Darren: "You know that feeling you get when it seems like everyone else is busy doing something with their lives and you're just sitting around with your thumb up your ass? Yeah, that's how it feels here when I just look out the window."

I'm going to be receiving a check from an insurance company to cover repairs from a teen side swiping my car. Considering it's only cosmetic damage I plan on using the bulk of the check to repair other things on my car. I go up to Pick-n-Pull on Sykes Ave to search for a hubcap, a sun visor, and a door handle. After some searching through the car graveyard I locate all three things. $20 well spent.

Vegetable Fried Rice with Lentils.

At the storage unit for Ladada practice. Josiah and I work with Calum to learn the drums. He'll be traveling with us to perform at the Daytrotter sessions in Illinois.

Kale. Pierogies with Yogurt Dill Dip. Pita Bread. Banana Chocolate Bread.

Watching The Sum of All Fears (2002).

Biking around Hilltop after 1 a.m.

Sipping on a Michelob.

Sleep at some point.

---

[i] Claire Scully.