Saturday January 7 2012 (THE NETHERLANDS)

[i]

9 a.m. lobby call. My whole body feels heavy and roughed up. Rolling into the van. I sit up front with Sam, our driver at the wheel.


Pit stop. Chocolate-filled Croissant. Milk.


Sleeping most of the time.

Crossing the Belgium border.

Sleeping more.


I wake up to an alien land, The Netherlands. Strange designs. Strange signs. Strange words. Strange street art. Striped street light poles. Clean. Pristine. Futuristic architecture—reminiscent of Japan.


We pass an old windmill in the middle of a sheep pasture. “That’s as Dutch as it gets,” Sam says.
Soon after some roundabouts and wrong turns we arrive at the venue: Het Kasteel in the town of Alphen Aan Den Rijn.


After sound check and some Dutch snack goodies we check into the hotel, which is only about a 20-minute walk, and I take advantage of it while the others go in search for legalized hash (code word: coffee). It’s dark and beautiful outside. Walking along the river with the waterline terribly close to the buildings. Admiring the quaint Dutch dwellings with their distinct slanted roofs. I can peek into the windows of some and see people going about their business...watching TV, having a dinner party, or reading mail. It’s a wistful feeling being here walking around in the Netherlands. Hard to believe I’m really here.


Dinner: Fish Indian Cuisine Takeaway.

...

Back at the venue. I find an office down below to check internet and organize photos. Reading some emails. There’s three of them from Margot informing me she hooked up with a guy back home, more specifically just “made out for a bit.” My heart kind of plummets but I’m not sure how to feel. We had promised to communicate to each other if anything like that happened. But I really didn’t expect to hear stuff as it happens. Not here. Don’t put a dent into my trip. I mean I have nothing to tell her. I haven’t kissed or hooked up with anyone on tour thus far. And I don’t expect to, however if the opportunity was there and it felt right then I might take it. But I didn’t want to hear this kind of news. I don’t reply. I want to respond with something dramatically simple like, “I think it’d be a good idea if we not talk or see each other for a long time.” But I don’t reply at all. I miss her sometimes but her absence has been healthy and therapeutic and I’d like to keep this up. Okay, Robert. Why are we giving thought to this right now? I’m in fucking Holland.

And Mae goes on soon. I head up. It’s wonderfully packed...350 capacity, not sold out but a lot more people than the past few shows. We perform a powerhouse set.


After the show...stragglers hang around the dance floor looking to meet the band and get autographs. I talk to a few grateful fans then plop myself down on the edge of the stage feeling somewhat lifeless and sad. Graham takes notice and asks why I’m bummed.

I explain, “It’s just an internal compression, I guess.”

Sometimes you just feel alone...its’ a powerful blow to the soul when you’re traveling and you feel such a lack of connection. But I’m not gonna drown myself. I’m in Europe right now and I should be happy and doing things with abandon.

...

They throw an after party in the small bar room. All the bands and a few locals crowd up the place. Free rounds of bier! A deejay pumping out loud jams. Sharing smokes. Socializing with everyone. I meet Jolanda and Marith who work here at the club. Teaching me a few Dutch phrases. One of them being “Wil je me pijpen!” It means, suck my cock. I entertain myself by shouting this to any Dutchman in the room. Finding out the drinking age is only sixteen! It’s an incredibly fun time. Dancing. Acrobatics on top of the stools.


When it’s all over, some of us are left to walk back to the hotel. I don’t mind. I could walk in the Netherlands forever...

With Jacob, Tom, and Mark. The quietness in the Dutch streets is loud. The only sounds are the clicking of crosswalk lights and the tweeting melodies of the morning birds, which are uniquely different from morning bird’s song in Virginia.


Sinking into the bed at 5:30 a.m.


[i] All images by me.

Friday January 6 2012 (PARIS)

[i]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The days just bleed into one another. There is no time. There never was to begin with...

Still in the van in a frustrating state of anti-sleep. Compared to this situation the plane was more conducive to catching Z’s. At some point I hear Graham, our tour manager announce something about the Paris skyline in sight. Why should I miss this for irreverent shut-eye? Colorful obtrusive French graffiti along the walls of the motorway streaming by me through the window. I’ve never seen so much street art along an interstate. New York doesn’t even compare to this level of imagery.


Arriving at our favorite hotel: Etap. It’s the cheapest most affordable place to stay but the brochure is deceiving, appearing to be some ritzy establishment. But really if they just provided shampoo, washcloths, and a proper shower room, I would actually approve.

Inside the lobby...a group of lovely French birds cleaning up around the café area. It’s understood in the facial expressions shared with the guys of the blatant attraction of these girls...

...

Taking my first shower in a few days. So invigorating...

...

I walk with Zach to a café around the corner and we share a Café Crème amongst old French men.

...

Back to the hotel. It’s around noon and 100% of us are 100% tired but I’m trying to fight it. Mark introduces me to the concept of polycyclic sleep, the same sleep cycle cats use, napping here and there throughout the day. A cat’s life for me I guess.

While everyone sleeps, I find a green stool in the lobby café and use the computer. I strike up a chat with two of the cute girls we saw earlier. They have hardly any knowledge of English so I use Google Translate to converse, making it an exhausting but interesting conversation with Cassandra and Alice—typing questions and answers into the translate bar. They’re both seventeen, soon to be eighteen—a fun interaction to have while I wait for our lobby call to go to the venue.


In the van...cruising through downtown Paris in route to O’Sullivan’s. This city is bewildering, a culture shock for sure. Taking random pictures of the pedestrians. Some of them shoot me strange looks. A group of French guys, obviously gay, notice my snap shot frenzy. I point my finger and bend my wrist in their direction as a welcoming sign to say hello. One of the guys responds with a classy wink back. I love France.


There. Setting up. Sound checking.

Then, with Zach and Jacob. We go on a mission in search of this café Zach read about, and had been to last time he came to Paris. After a few minutes of analyzing the subway map we hop onto a cramped metro train. There’s a guy strumming tunes on a guitar plastered in guitar pics. He actually gets onto the train. It’s jam packed. But with the presence of this troubadour the spirits are high—smiling French faces—happy people, almost everyone—producing versions of American sing-a-longs like “Rollin! Rollin! Rolling on a subway!” An amazing unifying moment...

I look over to Jacob, smile and say, “We picked the right car.”


Out on the street now, directly in front of the famous Notre Dame cathedral. The bells resounding and bouncing off the tall buildings. [Dong Dong Dong] Exploring further into the heart of this French maze madness. You could be stuck here forever and never cover every square inch of this town. People everywhere. This city is alive. Sparkling. Twinkling. In contrast to the hustle and bustle you can find little cafés on every corner each with a distinctive flavour—where life slows down for the locals. They huddle up at these tiny tables drinking their little café crèmes and smoking cigarettes, all facing the street as if the passerby’s were the entertainment. They’re judges critiquing our walks, our thoughts, and our talks.


After a brisk cold stroll we find Café De Flore and situate ourselves in a booth on the second floor. It’s a mad house in here with Frenchmen and Frenchwomen packed tightly at the tables drinking coffee and smiling mischievously. This café is where Sartre and other famed writers and philosophers used to meet. We order café crèmes and they’re exceptional. I’ve been awake for almost 48 hours and without being hopped up on caffeine I would literally drop to the ground. The malnutrition and lack of sleep hits you hard in spurs. Back on the street picking up an Egg and Cheese Crepe from a stand. Nearby a folk polka band pounds out some romantic tunes. I watch a couple take advantage of the moment by touching lips in such a gentle focused manner. This place really is the capital of love.


On the metro train. A man with non-working legs begs for Euros. He crawls on his hands, which are strapped to flip-flops.

...

Back to the venue. The Moulin Rouge next to it is all lit up in full presentation of glamour and shine. I sit alone outside the bar smoking a Djarum Mild. Space heaters mounted up in the ceiling. Others chit chatting around me. Scanning the beautiful cluster of French natives marching down the sidewalk passing right in front of me. Watching as almost near perfect female jewels stroll by floating away from my vicinity in a matter of seconds. Recalling something Zach said to me earlier about how great it’d be to come to Paris, meet someone, and have a wonderful affair, just for two weeks. Ideas like this and stories here birth so naturally; they hatch like eggs with an unstoppable drive for carpe diem. These faces tell it all: Bonjour, I live my life in constant satisfaction.


Showtime. Not a lot of heads in the venue but still a decent performance...

Afterwards this place turns into a club. Trendy music booming out the speakers. Guys in suave attire and girls in sexy dresses. It’s a real live zoo just outside. People lined up like ants waiting to get into The Moulin Rouge. Mates in other bands hooked up with French birds all over the bar. I feel lost and not sure what to do with myself.

...

Stephanie and Leandra, fans from Michigan, and Yuko from Japan flew all the way out here to see Mae play and sight see. I know Stephanie from previous tours, and she’s probably the coolest mom I know. Yuko’s a sweet Japanese gal who’s made multiple trips to the west coast to get her Mae fix and a good friend of ours. Leandra I don’t remember ever meeting before. But she’s got this piercing stare. I only notice it every now and then.

...

Later in the night...we’re all hanging outside the van amidst the craziness waiting for our tour manager to return. Some drunk black dude claiming to be from Sudan vies for our attention along with multiple flower sellers soliciting us every fifteen seconds wanting to give a rose for a quid. It’s hard to believe I’m even here...sipping on pints of 1664 ales in public in the middle of the Paris streets.

...

Back at the Etap. It’s after midnight. Dave, Tom, Jacob, and I begin a night adventure we’ll never forget. We start on a bus where a friendly drunken midget leads us onto the metro. He runs down the escalator and we follow blindly, an awesomely funny moment. On the train he asks us if we’re in a rock band and starts wailing air guitar for the Queen song "Bohemian Rhapsody", also an awesomely funny moment. Maybe he got bored with us or distracted but he leaves his seat with us and darts over to another drunk bunch and immediately has photos taken of him. This man will be embedded in my memory forever. Time to get off but our stop is closed so we’re forced to take the next one. Up out of the underground and without any idea on what direction to take. Marching down Marceau Avenue. Stop into a McDonalds for quick eats. Coincidentally the other band mates from Kyoto Drive walk in at the same time and lead us in the right direction. Baring the cold wind. Everything’s hazy. We make it to the Seine River at the spot where Princess Diana died of car injuries. The Eiffel Tower in the distance. We decide to go no closer and do a photo op right there on the bridge. Now we have to get back to the hotel. The trains are closed at this point so we keep exercising our feet down Marceau in hopes a bus will come. We end up using a taxi to get back.


This day will go down in my history as the longest day ever.


Sleep at some ungodly hour.


[i] All images by me.

Thursday January 5 2012 (MILTON KEYNES)

[i]

DREAM: Two parakeets. Gripping one at a time with my hand careful not to squeeze too hard. An energetic shorthaired dog, maybe a lab or a Dalmatian. Bracing myself every time it tries to pounce on me.



Awakening around 11 a.m. in a cold and quiet room. I love these silky sheets. A foreign body next to me. She’s quiet and reserved, still dreaming. Time to go. She walks me out.

Me: “Hey I had a nice time. It was a pleasure to meet you.”


In the van driving to our next destination...

The boys give me a hard time and banter me with questions pertaining to my night...

“So did ya have a shag?”

“No. It was totally PG.”


Food stop before we hit the motorway for our 3 and a half hour drive to Milton Keynes.

Egg Salad Sandwich with Lettuce. Strawberry Yogurt. Valencia Orange Juice.


Laughing and sharing stories...weirdest place you masturbated...weirdest time and place you had sex. What’s talked about in this van stays in this van.


Arriving at the venue: The Craufurd Arms. This place looks like they took a Hot Topic and turned it into a bar...but it’s surprisingly comfortable. The actual venue room however is grimy—wood floors stained from a year’s worth of beer spills and cigarette butts.

...

Finding out the eighteen year old drummer for Rookie of The Year is a model for Seventeen magazine and does a love advice column. I wouldn't even have thought.

...

With Zach and Dave walking down the cold windy streets of Milton Keynes. We find a warm pub that one of the other tour members recommended to us...

There, sipping on our respective pints—mine is a Carlsberg. Jacob and Tom join us. At the table enjoying our meals...



Cottage Pie (Shepherd’s Pie with Beef, Mashed Potatoes, Carrots, and Peas). Fries.

Discussing relationship issues. You can’t depend on love like it’s some romantic idea that’s going to whirl whatever relationship you’re in to incredible heights. In the end you have to make a choice.

Jacob: “Love is like a dessert you have to chew a thousand times.”


Back at the venue

Zach: “It’s so weird that people exist in other places, like, people have lives...”

Me: “Yeah, like somewhere else. [haha] That’s a good observation.”

...

Sitting down at a booth in the bar...some Coheed and Cambria song is playing on the overhead system. One of the dudes sits down next to me and comments on the music, “Coheed sounds like a prog rock band stepping on mice.”

...

The show must start. We conduct our set as usual. Not many people on the floor, similar to Glasgow’s turn out. Dave and Zach perform a toned down version of the song "Sun" and I’m supposed to play a piano solo at the end. Even as many times as I practiced it on my own...I end up pounding a bass note that is obviously wrong. I stop for a second to announce in the microphone, “Sorry, I messed that up.” Laughs on the stage are incessant but I continue the tune with an embarrassing grin.

...

We have to rush and load up quick after the show. We pack into the van and so begins our roughest overnight trip yet...

Custard-filled Doughnut with Hot Chocolate.

A few hours drive. Things are hysterical in our camaraderie. We become immature boys poking fun at anything. Already we’re creating running inside jokes.



Then, hopping on a ferry across the English Channel to reach the mainland (France). About an hour and a half ride. Walking around, exploring the massive ship complete with restaurants and coffee shops and casinos. Freakish cold dark water swaying us left and right. Sea legs.





Egg Salad Sandwich. Valencia Orange Juice.

...

Back in the van...extremely tired but I’m so tired I can’t sleep. I forgot what tour life was like. You catch Z’s when you can and get sustenance when you can. Your body is forced to submit to this unscheduled clock.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<


[i] All images by me.

Wednesday January 4 2012 (LEEDS)

[i]

DREAM: Exploring an old apartment building which on the outside seems abandoned and in shambles. I walk underneath a Styrofoam panel and tip toe through the hallway, peering into different rooms. Somebody lives here. A family. A stranger’s residence. Suddenly I realize I have my digital camera in my possession. Before I went to sleep I kept it by my bedside so I could check the time. At this point I’m aware that I’m dreaming and believe without any doubt that I can take photos of these rooms and have them when I wake up to look back on. I snapshot every sight I can. One room is understood to be Elliott’s room. He’s not here. I take the picture. Later I come across Elliott somewhere else in the building and show him the photo I took. What’s weird is he’s in the picture sitting in a desk chair like a ghost. Both of us find this interesting. My dream is playing tricks on me.


Around 9:30 a.m. We get a knock at the door. Van call is 10am. I had set my camera by my bedside before I went to sleep. I check to see if any photos showed up from my dream and to my disappointment there are none. Not that I actually expected any. But I had to check anyway. In the lobby indulging in the £3.75 all you can eat breakfast: Toast and Jam. Nutella Croissant. Wheaties Cereal. Orange Juice.




In the Sprinter, stuck in the middle seat with bare minimum arm room. Family Guy on the TV. I retreat to my headphone music. Another rainy day in the UK. VW’s, Mercedes, and Volvo’s dart by us. Goodbye Glasgow. Wish I could’ve gotten to know your big city Scottish ways a little better. Another time perhaps.

...

Napping... Music...

Pit stop. Vanilla Café Latte.


Arriving in Leeds, England. Venue: The Well. Being here on schedule for a change so we’re allotted plenty of time to sound check.



Bumming around the club...relaxing on a ripped leather couch and sipping on a Beck’s. The lead singer of Rookie of the Year approaches me and asks if I drink liquor. Not much, I say, but he offers to buy me a genuine Scotch. I accept. Immediately I’m broken into a drunken fluster, a happy state of mind. I feel incredibly loose and with the power to go, say, and do whatever I want. Chugging on more beers to keep this state of mind.

It’s time to perform. I’m jangly and satisfied. Hobbling up to the stage. Preparing the tones on my keyboards. The set goes smoothly. Feeding off the heaviness emitting from our amps and the boom of the drums...a fresh enthusiasm from the crowd...singing with zest. A fan up in the front with a beautifully huge smile painted on her face who obviously knows every song by heart and would choose to be no other place but right there where she’s standing. It’s an honor to know I’m a part of this dream of hers.

“That was the funnest set we’ve played on this tour so far!”



Afterwards, sitting down at a table by the bar with some new acquaintances and an old buddy of mine, Brian, from high school who just moved to England a few years ago. It’s been ten years since him and I graduated. He’s complete with a family now living in Harrogate.




Checking into the hotel, another Etap, same kind of room from yesterday: bunk bed and shower door right by the bed. These remind me of the compact single rooms we were accommodated with in Japan. We had planned on going to a bar down the street called Santiago’s but the rainy windstorm prevents us from even venturing outside. So we order takeaway food instead paid for by the band. Supreme Pizza and Kebabs.




Two girls we met from the show, Jodie and Claire join us. They brought a cheap Spanish red wine to share with Mark and I in the hotel room. Mark dozes off on the top bunk, so we move the social bubble to their flat, which is conveniently located just up the block. Noticing the apartment number is 111. A sign...that I’m where I should be...

...

There, in the lounge room sitting on the floor pulling up song after song on YouTube—karaoke style singing along to Bob Dylan, Goo Goo Dolls, Third Eye Blind, and Coldplay. Conducting our own Pandora radio—sharing songs reminiscent of the previous ones. Lykke Li. Gotye. Wild Beasts. The Tower and The Fool. Eventually Claire retreats to her room for the night. It’s past 4 a.m. Jodie and I continue this musical evening just the two of us...drinking flavoured berry and ginger beers. She actually has a good singing voice—harmonizing with her and bellowing out melodies so pure. She’s disappointed with the lack of romance in England, which I don’t know if I should be surprised to hear. The seasons have been lacking in warmth and possibly affect each other’s romantic drive. “To be fair...” is the British way to say, “to be honest...” I hear this quite a lot within conversation. Mentally I had already prepared myself to be natural and use this as an opportunity to meet locals, and not consider this a sexual or romantic endeavor, even though the boys earlier had already hyped it up to be. “Oo. Are you gonna get laid tonight?” But I know how to gauge and feel if things are right or not. At any rate, I lean in to smell her hair and repeatedly nuzzle my face into her neck (because that felt right). She responds and we subtly share space. Situating ourselves on the couch lying side by side, her back to my front, spooning. Jose Gonzalez YouTube mix as the soundtrack—beautiful Spanish guitar licks. This feels nice. New. But right. Snoozing for a little bit...then...

Me: “Hey, can we sleep in your bed?”

Her: “Yeah, sure.”

Her bed is made up of dark burgundy silk sheets with a sleeping bag on top to enforce the heat to trap underneath. It’s terribly cold in this room but under here I’m warm. Not much happens from then on except a little cuddling. Within 10 minutes we’re asleep sometime before 6 a.m.


[i] All images by me.

Tuesday January 3 2012 (SLOUGH and GLASGOW)

[i]

The quietness in this small English hotel room is too overwhelming while I sleep. My body tried numerous times to awaken me earlier in the night. But now it’s 5:48 a.m. and I’m wide-eyed. The glowing blue night-light in the bathroom offers peace of mind. Zach is in the other bed breathing hard in his sleep. What am I going to do?

...

Hot shower.

...

Catching up on some writing and emails. Margot sends me an endearing email...

[<3 Hi! Imissyouiloveyou. Imdrinkyfacebutnottoomuchthatidontknowwhatimtalkingabout. Bemyboyfriendagainplease. We'repracticallytherealready. Getbacktome
Hope you can break my code haha ;)]

...

Hearty hotel breakfast: Eggs, Baked Beans, Toast, Warm Chocolate Filled Croissants, Strawberry Yogurt, Orange Juice.

Reading the tragic local news.

...

Traversing the cold rainy windy streets of Slough, an out of the way small town here in England, only an hour and half train ride to London. I feel like I’m tromping through the humpy sidewalks of Busch Gardens. I half expected to see signs directing me to roller coasters like Alpengeist and The Lochness Monster. But the paths and buildings here are genuine with an historic rich English image, quaint and sturdy flats. The style is reminiscent of the connective housing of Ghent in Norfolk or downtown Richmond, Virginia. Even the names of our cities and districts back in the states make it obvious our British roots.

The convenient shops. Unrefrigerated eggs on the dry shelves. Various croissants.

Inventive playgrounds with structures I only wish were around when I was young.



Waiting quite a while in the lobby with the guys for our driver Sam to pick us up. Sipping on a Cappuccino and reading a local zine.

...

It’s a Mercedes Sprinter tour van. Three seats facing the other three seats. The first half of the drive to Glasgow is a rainy dreary visual experience. Traffic delays and most of us staying in our meditative bubbles. Getting used to the right side steering and vehicles driving on the left side of the highway, or motorways as they’re known here. Zach accidentally spills the coffee he’s holding in his hand onto his crotch area after dozing off a little bit. Then, Mark discovers he accidentally smashed a banana while he was trying to nap up in the luggage bunk. These are the lovely incidents that can only happen when van touring. It’s good to be back on the road.



Diving more into The Bell Jar. It turns out to be an appropriate and relevant read considering Sylvia Plath is a British writer, and even her tragic death at 30 connects with some of the themes in my conversations amongst the guys.



Double rainbow spotted outside.

...

Pit stop at a petrol station. Grabbing a Sweet Chili Chicken Wrap from the Burger King. Eating Potato Chip Trio and a Banana. Drinking Lemonade.

Back in the van we come up with the ridiculous idea of a “Shit Jacuzzi” where one may comfortably relax in a hot tub and take care of their business at the same time. There’d be a suction/stream located where the person sits that efficiently cleans and vacuums the waste in seconds. And you can enjoy this moment with friends of course. I forgot where this idea sparked. Boy, once we get into the momentum of thinking up hilarious inventions...it doesn’t stop. Elaborating on what the instruction manual would say and the drawbacks and the retail price.

I’m a part of a group of men who find entertainment in the silly and subtle nonsense in the world, making intelligent observations and pumping out witty jokes like a machine gun.

...

Napping—listening to music—reading. Eventually the sun comes out and reveals the beautiful countryside.


We make it to Glasgow finally. Venue: The Classic Grand. We’re right on time, which means very late. I have just enough time to acclimate myself with the keyboards that we rented...analyzing the correct tones and sounds. No opportunity to sound check. Whatever. This is Rock n Roll. We’ve worked under harsher conditions.

...

Just an hour till Mae goes on. The crowd is not much to show for...maybe about 30 kids. That garage/house show I attended last week had more heads. Drinking nasty Scottish beer in the back room. The other bands get up and play. Then we march up there and in less than 10 minutes we’re jamming out the same old tunes Mae’s been performing for many years. A conservative crowd but still fun nonetheless.



After the show. Checking into the hotel. It’s an Etap: hostel dorm room style rooms complete with a bunk bed and a shower located directly by the bed without any separation.

We all reconvene at a classy casino joint across the street. Stylish white chandeliers. Suited security with earpiece communications. Scantily clad Scottish waitresses in black dresses prancing around with trays carrying cocktails and martinis. Black Jack. Texas Hold ‘em. Roulette. We sit down at a pink-lit counter by the bar. Sipping on pints of Amstel Light and Fosters. Sharing tour adventures with the members in the other bands. One of them is only 18 years old, a noob, or a green bean as we like to call them. God knows I’ve been there before. I order the Fish n Chips—thick cut french fries and beautifully battered haddock fillets. Packet condiments of vinegar and tartar sauce provided.

...

I’m tired now, and at the proper hour. Dave tries his hand at poker and the other guys head back. I retreat to a small balcony and reflect for a few minutes. I look out on the wavy dark water in the harbor. City lights. Pink. Red. Blue. Apartments. Flats. Surrounded by the big city of Glasgow, Scotland. It’s hard to believe I’m here in the UK, in the middle of Europe, across the Atlantic Ocean, on the other side of the world.



Back in the hotel room. Situating myself atop the cozy bunk, the window shades up allowing the dark yellow glow of the city to haunt me while I sleep. 2 a.m.


[i] All images by me.

Monday January 2 2012 (SLOUGH)

[i]

Waking up to the cabin lights flickering on with its harsh white lighting. I slept maybe 3 hours. It’s about 10:30 a.m. UK time. Repositioning my legs. We’re almost to Heathrow.

...

Breakfast is served: Spicy Egg Croissant, Banana, and Orange Juice.


Landing. Waiting at baggage claim. Waiting at the bus station to get on a bus that takes us to another bus station where we wait some more for another bus to take us to the hotel. Traveling is fun.

Snacking on a Pear and Prunes.

...

Finally arriving at our hotel in the Slough borough. Dealing with backline equipment issues—working out with our promoter how to get everything on the list that we asked for initially.

Then off down the street on foot venturing into a little English pub called The Queens Arm with Zach and Jacob. The friendly Irish lady bartender offers to feed us Chicken Curry even though they don’t serve food till six. Playing a game of 8-ball pool otherwise known as snooker here. Political and philosophical debates at the table over beers. A half pint of London Pride and Carlson.

...

Me: “I’d rather be on an adventure than be at a cubicle.”

...

Tom and Mark hobble into the pub and join us for a while, continuing the debates...


Walking back to the hotel. Stomping on the wet cobblestone sidewalks. Mark mentions how he feels there’s an under current of distrust here obvious from all the descriptive street signs referring to car thieves and just a general vibe of strangers on the street. I chalk it up to the throws of being in a big city but he thinks it’s something else.


The rest of the boys want to continue pub hopping. I resign for the night even though it’s super early.


Sleep around 8 p.m. English time.


[i] London Skyline. Image by me.

Sunday January 1 2012

[i]

DREAM: Making a Chinese food delivery in an oversized mall. I had parked my car just outside, key left inside and door unlocked like I usually do, because usually the delivery transaction takes no more than a minute. But I should’ve known something would go wrong. As I’m exiting the building I discover the worse case scenario. The car is gone. My keys. My cell phone. Book bag. All gone. Security officers walk by and I inform them, “I’d like to report a stolen car please!” The man mutters something into his walkie-talkie and continues about his business. Later, my boss Cecily finds me and comments on my new haircut, “Your hair’s never looked so good.”


Alarm goes off at 11:30 a.m. Continuing to wallow in the bed sheets next to her, pressed against her warm bare back.


Oatmeal with Flax Seed, Brown Sugar, Raisins, and Milk. Orange Juice. Zinc (50 mcg).


While I’m roaming around getting ready to leave I walk by the bed and she’s awake.

She tells me in her classic baby voice, “I roll over and I wake up and you’re not there.”

Me: “That’s such a sad story.”

...

She leaves. I practice more piano—getting more comfortable with these melodies and trills.


Off to the airport. I’m unnaturally early. Zach is sitting by himself. I recline next to him and ask one question that produces at least a 30 minutes discussion, “What do you feel like you’re losing?” And I meant of course as we age...what are we losing? Desire for change. Zest for adolescent causes to change the world. Getting acquainted with a certain kind of acceptance on the mechanics of society. There is one vital factor that keeps the both of us leery of romantic freedom: knowing there is never a perfect match. We don’t want to be left alone in this existential conflict. Being attached to another is sometimes difficult when bombarded with so much public sensory stimulation as these attractive people surround us at the airport...
Zach phrases it as “a constant assault on the senses.” Exactly.

...

Jacob and Mark arrive.

...

Half a Turkey Swiss Sandwich from Starbucks. Potato Chip Trio. Pomegranate Cherry Ade. Pear.

...

On the plane I get the window seat. Entertaining myself by browsing the ridiculous products in Sky Mall magazine. The beautiful imagery in the sky as we soar through the band of popcorn clouds. Engaging in a similarly themed conversation with Mark as I did with Zach on the conflicts of an up and coming 30 year old—settling down, focusing on adulthood and being comfortable becomes priority.

This flight is short-lived. Mark is full of energy and excitement to be on this trip, which is going to be a break from the norm for all of us, but this drill is all too familiar: hurry up and wait. That’s what traveling entails most of the time...leaving you with plenty of time to idle your mind.

...

Coffee with Cream and Sugar. Mini bag of Peanuts.



We arrive in Atlanta and to our dismay it’s at least a three and a half hour layover here. Welcome to airport life. People watching is my favorite pastime as an airport resident. Even as I attempt to read The Bell Jar I’m distracted by all the movement across the concourse. So many different people of varying types. The families. The loners. The pretty faces. The business men.

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Settling for a personal pan Cheese Pizza from Pizza Hut and a Honey Crisp Apple to fill my hunger.

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Later in another concourse we discover the classier side of the ATL. A pianist pumping out soft classical melodies on a baby grand in the middle of the food court. Mark and Zach retreat to the bar close by. Snacking on a Bavarian Crème Doughnut with Coffee. I look out across the vast cafeteria at the persons sitting by themselves, one of them being a fairly good-looking 30-year old woman directly in front of me eating a piece of carrot cake and drinking bottled water. She doesn’t have a book nor have company to share words with. But she sits there anyway doing nothing, gazing in front of her, sorting through images and ideas in her head. I could just get up from my stool, offer to sit with her, introduce myself, and strike up a conversation. But I don’t. I do exactly what everyone expects from strangers: stay in your personal bubble.

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The layover drag went by faster than expected. The whole cabin is forced to watch this infomercial on the safety rules and regulations of the flight. The video features high quality camera work and an attractive female flight attendant lecturing us on all the do’s and don’ts. I'm especially enamored with her luscious red lips. A constant assault on the senses.

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We’re served a compact and nutritious airline dinner. I choose the Pasta, which comes with a small Salad, a Roll, and a mini Blondie Cookie. A cup of Chardonnay suits the meal well.

Soaring at 33,000 feet in the midnight sky at 670 mph. There’s something beautiful and poetic about being up here...

Reading this graphic novel I found in the house called Transmetropolitan: Back On the Street. Angry and comical and visually intriguing. Set in a not-so-distant cyber future in a big city where an alien/human hybrid race fights for equal rights—involving an edgy and upset anti-hero journalist named Spider Jerusalem who stops at nothing to get stories. A surprisingly good read.


Catching some sit-up shut eye...


[i] All images by me.